Friday, October 28, 2005

Selamat Hari Raya From a Dysfunctional Batch

Raya season is here – while there are people who are crying their heart out because they have to work on Hari Raya in a country which is not even aware of the existence of Eid-ul-Fitri (read: Fadli), the majority of us are already in the Hari Raya mood even on the last day of the week before the festive week officially begins.

For that, most of us are not doing any work today in compensation for all the late hours spent without over time for the past 5 years (excuse maaa…)

The preparation for the Back To School Reunion on 3rd December at KGPA is in full swing. Another meeting was held last night, with a new addition to the self-appointed committee that is Epit’s wife (I completely understand and appreciate the appeal of getting married to someone from either TKC, SSP or STF, because it’s so easy for them to tag along and understand why we are what we are. They even chipped in when it comes to jambu-related jokes!)

Anyway, Badut and Epit had together vetoed and unilaterally adopted “Back to School (Make It Happen)” as the motto – I am expecting a lot of sarcastic comments from Chamat, but Badut and Epit shall confidently defend the motto they chose.

The itinerary is already being finalized – with a lot of clips and sketches from the yesteryears. It would be a blast, provided many others help us compile all the photos, clips, excerpts from highly sensitive records (read: Buku feylong) etc.

But the most important part is how you turn up – so far Fadli is so committed to wearing his fluorescent green short that he used for mandi after games hours, which he described in his own words:

“ In the spirit of "Sperek Koleq" and "UNITE FECT !! ", I will pay my share of the meal even though aku tak leh confirm that I can attend or not...Seriously, the idea of seeing 100 old friends in tight white shorts ( or in my case FLUORESCENT GREEN shorts ) is very appealing, looking at the things go now, aku tak leh nak confirm...But will definitely try to make it...watever it is, i can count on you guys on making it a blardy great event...

kalau aku jadi pergi, aku akan make sure that aku akan cari baju ahmad yang dah lusuh tu + shorts for sukan tara + black war yang kalau kau campak dalam sungai semua ikan mati...”

As for others, I heard plans to actually turn up in the F1 shorts and long socks (although to locate the long socks after 15 years will be a challenge) – but expect many house badges or black war that night ha ha.

So as you go home for this Raya, please go through your things from koleq years and decide how you want to turn up at the reunion. If you come across really nostalgic materials that are worth putting up for a good laugh, please contact one of us.

To those who have not confirmed, please do so as soon as possible, either to Epit (019 3388498), Badut (019 282 6905) or Rough (013 980 7907).

Lastly, the customary and obligatory festive greeting of “Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Batin”.

* ps: We used to do Warta-style Raya dedication, but we are way too old for that now

* pps: We have been calling people for confirmation, I come across one guy who had to lie instantly that he had to attend a family wedding on that particular day in order not to attend. The problem was he was a very bad liar – it was obvious that he wanted to avoid the reunion, as much as he wanted to avoid us when we come across each other once in a while. So MCKK experience is not always rosy to everyone, some wanted to forget it badly they had to lie through their teeth

Monday, October 24, 2005

Seven Deadly Lists

Ayie (Class of 98) tagged this blog for the list of seven things that is going around the blogs.

As a Form 5 I can still remember him when he was a Form 1 – partly because Prep School was not out of bounds during our time and anyone can go there if they wished, unlike in prior years when Prep School was more guarded than Alcatraz. Contrary to popular belief however, some people who went to Prep School (myself included) went there to sleep at Fazurin’s cubicle or skive classes or buy the nice fried rice that this one Pak Cik sold (it was way to kicap-y for me though), not to have a chat with juniors. As much as I kept my distances from the juniors (but not from their grubs ha ha), I remember Ayie quite well, maybe because he was a bit little in size (physical size, nothing beyond that).

Anyway, since this batch has produced an underground alternative band on one extreme, to a potential jihadist who allegedly had been to Afghanistan for training on one extreme (though I bet he does not speak of this as openly as he did before Sept 11, lest he may find the experience being stripped naked and dumped in a small cell somewhere near Kampung Pasir - which he used to frequent as a student to learn kitab - way too creepy), I have to think hard to represent the batch as colourful as possible.

I shall start with the list that captures our imagination most:

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex
1) Sex
2) Boobs – (E81)
3) Sex
4) Sex
5) S&M – (E73?)
6) Trophy wife that brings power and glory – (E96)
7) Sex – (mostly E46)

7 things I plan to do before I die
1) See another budak koleq as a Prime Minister, and a just one at that
2) Legalise cross dressing (E46)
3) Close American Embassy (E52)
4) Reunite the Kingdom of Pattani with the Malay States, where it belongs
5) Become so stinking rich I die intoxicated from the smell of the notes (E98)
6) Become Headmaster of MCKK and make it a requirement that you must attain a certain level of jambu-ness before you can enrol (E43)
7) Grow my hair back (ha ha ha) (E53, plus E3 ha ha)
7.5) Visit Aslam and satisfy my ego that he will allow me in and not threw me out of the house the way he did Jures ha ha (well not before I die laa, certainly before I am 30)

7 things I cannot do
1) Cuddle a cat, I’ll faint when cats come near me (E71)
2) Suck up to boss
3) Main jambu with present boys when you have left the school for 10 years and there are 1001 ways to satisfy your emotional and sexual needs, legally or illegally
4) Go back to Old Boys Weekend, wear a grin and enrol for MCOBA membership (ha ha at least not yet)
5) Lose weight (E43, E27, E95 dan kawan-kawan)
6) Drive carefully, follow the rules and not to make a hazardous u-turn in the middle of the road without causing a potential road accident in the living daylight (E37)
7) Grow taller (well since I was in F1 actually – E6)

7 things I can do
1) Spend one whole day in office for 18 hours, looked extremely stressed out but did not do a single work, having been online all the time
2) Eat one whole periuk of nasi and one whole piece of fried chicken at one go (E11)
3) Sell scented oil from my chin as minyak dagu (E19)
4) Have 20 girlfriends in 5 years, spend thousands of ringgit and build a niche as a failed Casanova and yet remained unmarried till this very day (E13)
5) Spam everyone’s mailbox with my 3 MB file of Powerpoint presentation with blue blackground and pictures of me visiting various places on Earth that slide in when you press a key, without ever learning how to make a better presentation or use Fotopages! (E53)
6) Go out for dinner and come back just in time for my 11 pm curfew, despite my tender age of 28 (E68)
7) Not shaved for ages and still considered a celebrity and have fans screaming for me (E91)

7 celebrity crushes

(Depending on whether these crushes took place in MCKK or post MCKK)

1) Tut tut
2) Tut tut
3) Yatex (kira celebrity laaa ni….)
4) Tut tut
5) Sherry (E46)
6) Tut tut
7) Sheila Majid (E46 – dia ni je yang tegang dari dulu sampai sekarang…)

Post MCKK:
1) Homer Simpson
2) Julia Roberts
3) Barbara Streisand (E81 – dia suka hidung besar2 ni)
4) Winona Ryder
5) Princess Diana and Queen Mother (E53)
6) Sherry (E46 – old flame)
7) Lulu the Big-boobed model from Eurothrash who died because her watermelon-sized boob was way too big for her (E98)

7 often repeated words
1) So how…. (E53)
2) Tu laa pasal…. (E46)
3) “Kama tu lawa laaa….” (E93)
4) Hi haw hi haw hi haw… (bila dia gelak laaa… E98)
5) Insurans (E103)
6) Aku yang jambu pun dia tak tegur… (E81)
7) Projek berjuta juta (E96)

ps: Had a lengthy chat online with Fazurin (despite the fact we live in the same area) on our plans for the Back to School Reunion on 3rd December. I am considering seriously the proposition to wear shorts (as in F1 uniform) since Fadhil dared me to the challenge, in exchange for a dinner of my choice.

pps: In case you want to know to whom the list relates to, check here

Monday, October 10, 2005

To WOT Slave Out There: Knife of Dreams Is Out

" Internationally bestselling author Robert Jordan’s eleventh book in his wildly popular The Wheel of Time™ series, KNIFE OF DREAMS, will go on-sale nation-wide this October 11, 2005. KNIFE OF DREAMS will be the second to last book in the highly acclaimed The Wheel of Time™ series, the last three books of which have all been #1 New York Times bestsellers."

To the members of this batch who had been enslaved to the Wheel of Time series - which started of really well but went on too long that I have completely forgotten what happened in the last book (oooh! Maybe NOTHING happened hence why I cannot recall anything)- the pen-ultimate book (as claimed by Jordan) is now out, entitled Knife of Dreams.

This better be good. I will join Fazurin in our promise that if Jordan dies before completing the series, after taking us for the ride all these years, we will urinate on his grave!

As much as I despise this American writer who manipulated the child in us to make as much money as possible, it's quite an achievement to get us beholden to a series of fantasy books this long.

Pen-ultimate book heh? We'll see. And don't even think of writing another prequel - start working on Book 12!

* Wheel of Time, which started in early 1990s, most probably will be outpaced by Harry Potter which was first published circa 1996/97. That differentiates a Brit from an American.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

A Series of Makan-makan

This batch is big on makan-makan. When we were in Form 5, because of our love of food, we even had a Fruit Festival - basically used the profits that we made from the cheering t-shirt, bought a few lorries full of durian, rambutan and all sorts of local fruits, dumped them right in the middle of padang Big School, and had everyone - from the teachers, workers, budak koleq - to eat as much as possible.

We still continue with that eating "tradition", as you can see from the number of makan-makan we have in the space of 1 month.

@ Gloria Jeans Lepas Friday Prayers (4 weeks ago)

Shahrol boleh lentok dengar joke Haji Auzir.... not in the picture is Brahim Class of 93 (one of the BRUs of the old school who do justice to the brand BRU)

@ Gerai Uniten (3 weeks ago)

Top jambu Class of 96, one Nadir Shazli who has not changed a bit despite all the long years with the Japanese

Brother kepada Nadir masa kat Dorm 22 dulu, Bro Sharap kiter

Brother kepada both Nadir and Sharap, adik Bobo kiter (masa kat koleq laa)

@ Dome - final Twister Club before puasa (last week)

Pejal and Rahimi, both had one time or another served as Prep School and New Hostel prefects, so banyak laa rahsia2 yang budak batch 9397 ada pasal budak2 ni

@ McD Club Kerteh (last week)

Macam ni lah budak2 koleq menyambut Ramadhan - main cards kat hotel!

For RM2, you can Jumbo iced lemon tea kat Kerteh!

Jita and Nazma - awat taste kau sepesen Jita?

Canoe sempat catch up with Nuddin (Class of 98) who came late with a second round chicken chop

Bobo dah 3 minggu tak *makan*, so trying his best to force a smile

@ First more(sic) (this week)

Kalau dari koleq pakai kopiah putih macam ni dah boleh jadi Pres BRU dah!

Supremos of GROINHER - Epit and Badut

Zadin tengah pikir panjang apa pun aku tak tahu, because masa tu Chibix was talking about "lawanya Kam*"....

Ni tak campur orang lain punya makan-makan ni.... God we contribute so much to Malaysian economy.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Wong and Gadap's Tour of India


He..he... sajer aku nak juwe'... aku dgn Gadap baru jer balik backpacking kat per attached photos...covered Bombay & ahmedabad... penat giler... sajer nak tengok how's actual life in India... rasa naik train 3rd class in India... penuh dgn orang bersesak-sesak... stay kat RM5 per night backpacker hostel...(in fact lagi sadis drp katil Syed Moto masa F1 dulu...) tengok camner life kat this of the largest slum in wayang ala India... duk atas bangku..( previously I thought KK punyer wayang was the cheapest..RM2.50..) but in India... it cost you only for RM1 for the latest Bollywood block-buster..'Salam Nemaste'....( but don't ask me how's the projector's look's like... if not worst...just about similar like E.C Lim & co... selalu pusing dulu..) the main conclusion I got....

Kauorang kena la berterima kasih kat Pak Lah kerana menjadikan Malaysia sebuah negara maju.... he..he..he.. bodek Pak Lah...!!!


i) Iklan ini telah dibayar oleh Barisan Nasional. Satu lagi projek BN untuk rakyat

ii) B*b* thought that kalau tak tahu that si Wong and Gadap ni budak Melayu who once went to Malay College, sure ingat diorang bukan tourists nya in the picture. Wong dah memang ala ala hero Hindustani, Gadap ada gaya-gaya pelarian Tibet yang duduk kat Assam in North-east India.....

iii) Wong punya write up tu memang tak pakai spell checker langsung and memang langsung tak ikut grammar yang Cikgu Juriah ajar kat budak2 Science 3 dulu....

iv) Tour India memang langsung tak bawak bini.....

Friday, October 07, 2005


Please block 3rd December 2005 and do not commit to anything (unless it's something to do with kahwin lari in Golok) because the self-appointed Grand Committee on Hal Ehwal Reunion (GROINHER)*, presided over by Badut, had BOOKED and PAID** a deposit to Kelab Golf Perkhidmatan Awam (KGPA) for a reunion function.

We will get in touch with everyone for confirmation - it's minimally priced (within the range of RM65 to RM75 pax) as a sign of protest to whoever responsible for the escalation in daily consumption goods prices all over the country.

We are trying to get Butterfingers to give a free gig though we haven't actually spoken to Kadaque or Loque (so much for "trying to get").

We shall keep everyone updated with the details - through e-mails, this blog and expect phone calls from us.

Saya yang menjalankan tugas-tugas yang tak berkaitan dengan tugas pejabat dalam waktu pejabat,

Kuli Batak Badut


* GROINHER - in the spirit of Bung Karno and our Indon brethrens who like to give abbreviations to any phrase e.g. MALINDO for Malaysia Indonesia, MAPHILINDO when Philippines joined the group, KOMEKUAKANG for Kolej Melayu Kuala Kangsar etc. etc.

** When it comes to reunion or organising functions for the batch, the less consultation and the more unilateral you are, the higher the possibility for success.