Thursday, January 26, 2012

22 Years Later

So many had happened in between the last posting and this one that it is unthinkable our life can change so drastically within that short span of time.

If I were to list them here and blog each of it, no doubt we would have hit a new record of most number of postings in a year. But 2011 was monumental to many of us despite being a seemingly quiet year (at least here). It is not unlike 1991 (20 years ago) when everything seemed to hang in balance and people held their breath - for the fear, excitement and mostly the uncertainties of graduating to the Big School from the protected New Hostel.

I find myself alone in a quiet place, a rare privilege I get nowadays. A place I have left behind for so many years and being here gives me some time to reflect - another rare luxury that I often do not have lately. I have a list of 20 urgent matters to attend to but for once, I thought I should allow the heart to speak (people say we speak our mind, but we write our heart).

I managed to catch up quickly with Radin, Aiwa, Capoe and La'aba this week although it was only for a brief moment. The days when we can sit down until the wee hours are long gone, to be able to drop by to prove that you still care is already a big achievement nowadays. Truth is I have not been able to keep up with the batch for a long time. The bigger truth is I don't feel that I have been fair to most of them, but we have to do what we have to do.

The irony of trying to keep up with everything that is changing around you is the desire to fight back and cling on to whatever we can keep as a status quo. I find myself being closer to the hockey team in MCKK although I have no clue who they are. These are all new boys whom I have never met and ever since we withdraw in 2010, the remnants of the Mighty Ducks Project had also left the school.

But that is the beauty - life is full of cause and effect. For every change that is taking place, it sets in motion a different course of events that may bring about unexpected results, working mysteriously and independent of each other.

I fear that once we withdraw, the hockey game and team will die a natural death in MCKK. But the final batch of the Mighty Ducks Project honoured us with becoming the top two hockey team in Perak, beaten only by Anderson. That was unexpected and unplanned. In return, they inspired a new group of junior hockey players who want to fight back and emulate them, even without the kind of support their seniors had been receiving in the past.

When I first dropped by earlier this year only to observe them, I realise they were a lot better than most of the players we used to coach during our tenure. They are more determined, they are juniors (mostly Form 3 and below) and they have better skills. They want to fight back so as to earn the kind of support their predecessors had had in the past.

I couldn't help but to admire these kids. In their innocent ways, they demonstrate how this world works. Bad things happen, but life will go on. We can plan in vain and we may be facing the greatest opponent against which we think we have no hope, but do not discount for the unexpected small heroes who will make most impact outside our planning. Bad things will always happen, but good things come about at the end of each misery.

So while I struggle to keep sane with everything that is changing around me (that's the 'cause'), I am suddenly being pulled closer and closer to the very thing I thought I needed to move on from (that's the 'effect'). I know it sounds impossible and ridiculous, but I am more determined than ever to see that these boys will know what it is like to be fighting on the field with full pride and determination, the way we have always taught their predecessors. I don't know how many will be with me in this yet another crazy endeavour, but I didn't know either that there would be enough people to see the Mighty Ducks Project through when we first discussed it in 2006. But if the intention comes from the heart, Insya Allah the heart will see through.

So 20 years later, in 2012, I find myself communicating with kids who enter MCKK in 2010 and leave in 2014. The batch 20 years after ours. There is an automatic soft spot because you would like to think that we are similar one way or another.

20 years later, I wonder whether we (as a batch) realise how long we have been together.

I hope 2012 will be as eye opening and full of discoveries about life, lessons and the world - just how 1992 and the encounter with Big School was full of surprises and largely make us who we are today.

Happy new year 2012, welcome home :-)