22 Years Later

So many had happened in between the last posting and this one that it is unthinkable our life can change so drastically within that short span of time.

If I were to list them here and blog each of it, no doubt we would have hit a new record of most number of postings in a year. But 2011 was monumental to many of us despite being a seemingly quiet year (at least here). It is not unlike 1991 (20 years ago) when everything seemed to hang in balance and people held their breath - for the fear, excitement and mostly the uncertainties of graduating to the Big School from the protected New Hostel.

I find myself alone in a quiet place, a rare privilege I get nowadays. A place I have left behind for so many years and being here gives me some time to reflect - another rare luxury that I often do not have lately. I have a list of 20 urgent matters to attend to but for once, I thought I should allow the heart to speak (people say we speak our mind, but we write our heart).

I managed to catch up quickly with Radin, Aiwa, Capoe and La'aba this week although it was only for a brief moment. The days when we can sit down until the wee hours are long gone, to be able to drop by to prove that you still care is already a big achievement nowadays. Truth is I have not been able to keep up with the batch for a long time. The bigger truth is I don't feel that I have been fair to most of them, but we have to do what we have to do.

The irony of trying to keep up with everything that is changing around you is the desire to fight back and cling on to whatever we can keep as a status quo. I find myself being closer to the hockey team in MCKK although I have no clue who they are. These are all new boys whom I have never met and ever since we withdraw in 2010, the remnants of the Mighty Ducks Project had also left the school.

But that is the beauty - life is full of cause and effect. For every change that is taking place, it sets in motion a different course of events that may bring about unexpected results, working mysteriously and independent of each other.

I fear that once we withdraw, the hockey game and team will die a natural death in MCKK. But the final batch of the Mighty Ducks Project honoured us with becoming the top two hockey team in Perak, beaten only by Anderson. That was unexpected and unplanned. In return, they inspired a new group of junior hockey players who want to fight back and emulate them, even without the kind of support their seniors had been receiving in the past.

When I first dropped by earlier this year only to observe them, I realise they were a lot better than most of the players we used to coach during our tenure. They are more determined, they are juniors (mostly Form 3 and below) and they have better skills. They want to fight back so as to earn the kind of support their predecessors had had in the past.

I couldn't help but to admire these kids. In their innocent ways, they demonstrate how this world works. Bad things happen, but life will go on. We can plan in vain and we may be facing the greatest opponent against which we think we have no hope, but do not discount for the unexpected small heroes who will make most impact outside our planning. Bad things will always happen, but good things come about at the end of each misery.

So while I struggle to keep sane with everything that is changing around me (that's the 'cause'), I am suddenly being pulled closer and closer to the very thing I thought I needed to move on from (that's the 'effect'). I know it sounds impossible and ridiculous, but I am more determined than ever to see that these boys will know what it is like to be fighting on the field with full pride and determination, the way we have always taught their predecessors. I don't know how many will be with me in this yet another crazy endeavour, but I didn't know either that there would be enough people to see the Mighty Ducks Project through when we first discussed it in 2006. But if the intention comes from the heart, Insya Allah the heart will see through.

So 20 years later, in 2012, I find myself communicating with kids who enter MCKK in 2010 and leave in 2014. The batch 20 years after ours. There is an automatic soft spot because you would like to think that we are similar one way or another.

20 years later, I wonder whether we (as a batch) realise how long we have been together.

I hope 2012 will be as eye opening and full of discoveries about life, lessons and the world - just how 1992 and the encounter with Big School was full of surprises and largely make us who we are today.

Happy new year 2012, welcome home :-)

You Can Count On Me

You Can Count On Me has a different connotation in this batch. Usually referred to what now has become a proverbial status You Keng Kaung Ong Me (spelt in Terengganu slang), it refers to an act of absolute sabotage/breaking promises.

Example: promised to turn up at a function but never did, promised to turn up in a pre-agreed dress code but did not and so on.

Jokes aside, the real meaning of what each other means and has been to us is not lost. In the last one year when I struggled to have a grip of what I was doing, this bunch of people know exactly when to interfere, when to stay away, when to give space and most importantly, when to be there when I need them most - in my weakest moments.

Perhaps the best thing of being a part of this family is to be forever indebted to each other that we will always be around for each other.

Thanks guys, there has not been a single second that I don't think of you guys when I have to go and do what I have to do.

Gambar Maut

Ini ada satu gambar maut dari rumah Leman. Aku tak tahu nak komen apa. Antara yg terlintas:

1) Che Tam has been growing mentula since F1!

2) Auzir & Wawa nampak macam adik beradik lak. Or maybe aku dah kena minyak dagu Auzir.

3) Kalai nampak sooooo innocent. But wait, kalau kau rasa Kalai cute dalam gambar ni, cuba imagine muka masam & tantrum dia masa Common Room.

4) Ameba macam nak molest Kalai je

5) Dari F1 lagi terpampar FUG di muka Ein

Kalau yang tu tak cukup mengancam, cuba yang ini:




Kalau kau tak yakin gak bahawa betikisme was invented oleh batch kitorang, you only have to see this to be convinced.

Badut YKKOM

Berita terbaru aku dengar, budaya YKKOM telah menular sampai ke London. Nak dipendekkan cerita (ha2 tak de kena mengena dengan saiz Badut), berita dari London mengatakan Badut telah YKKOMkan LSE!

Dia pergi London, cakap kat LSE "eyh eyh tak jadi lah saya nak masuk LSE" ha2.

Sebagai AJK Sambutan batch, tak pasal2 aku kena buat welcoming party bila dia pulang tanahair lak.

Tapi sebelum tu, kita kena buat survey.

KENAPA BADUT YKKOM?

1) Sebab baby lotion dah habis

2) Dia bosan tunggu kat bilik

3) Sebab Malaysia tak pernah dijajah jadi buat apa pi belajar negeri Mat Saleh

4) Abu Usama offer projek dari KD baik punya

5) Dia nak buat rekod baru YKKOM

Sila undi. Welcoming party kita decide kemudian.

Ps: Hari tu diorg kutuk aku sebab tak pergi farewell party Badut. Ha2 I KNEW BETTER ;-)

The Most Wonderful Things Happen To The Most Wonderful People

I have been in a rather contemplative mode lately. Maybe because it is a stage where you want to reflect what has happened or where you are going next. Maybe it is the constant evaluation and struggle of having to do something you wish you would not pursue if not in the name of duty.

In the midst of the hecticness, I desperately needed to catch up with somebody and Chamat came along. I was late by almost 40 minutes (but luckily I could blame it on the weather - it was pouring cats and dogs).

A few hours passed by so quickly when you are in the company of the people who mean so much to me. Friendships you built from the MCKK years are like drugs to you - you have to prescribe it periodically to maintain your sanity.

Chamat and I went a long way back and any retelling of how we first struck a conversation off Prep School field would have been a punishment for others. In the case of Chamat, our paths kept crossing no matter how far we move in different directions.

Over the years, we have our ups and downs in our trial and tribulations. I'd liked to think that I did not wear my emotions on my sleeve and appeared to many others as a rock of stability, but the truth was I was a lot more fragile than I would like to think. I was too naive in most things so more often than not the initial shock of discovery or disappointment shook me more than I wish it had.

But Chamat had always managed to project an image of calm that did not betray any sea of struggles he was going through. So while others including me went through periods of disappointments in the company of our closest friends, it never crossed our mind that Chamat too would have to go through similar ordeals. He had always been good at concealing it.

Looking back, those are qualities that put him more suited to be successful in whatever he choose to do, compared to many of us. Throughout the years he was the better among us who took challenges in his stride without a tinge of self-pity.

Catching up with Chamat was perhaps the highlight of the last few weeks. We never waste any meeting without discussing what we eventually will end up venturing together. I think this time around we finally have decided on what we will do next.

On 10 January 1995 he gave a card to me at Subang Airport before we left for Scotland. He wrote:

The most wonderful things happen to the most wonderful people.

Looking at him all these years, I can only smile in concurrence :-)