Sunday, March 06, 2011

I Just Need You Now

It has been ages. I was prompted to make time and ensure that the memory lives on here, as I was traveling back from work and found myself stuck in a jam. Realised that it would take a lot longer to get through the jam than making a detour to meet a good friend whom I had not been in touch for a while. He was a senior in koleq and we used to make time to have dinner together at least once a month.

He was jubilant - many positive things happening in his life. He was also jubilant about a certain thing that happened last month and we both wondered how a certain person who is no longer with us would have reacted.

Anyway, it hit me in the face hard when he commented of how loyal the batchmates have been; and how quick they would come to defend anyone of us. "You have the best batchmates anyone could ever ask no matter how crazy they are".

That was the moment that I paused and my mind went wandering for a while.

We have the bad habit of ignoring the very people who are most loyal and kind to us, especially when we are dead focused on certain aims in life. I am mostly guilty of this all the time (of course, some others are a lot worse ha ha).

I don't participate in the email discussion as much, only to throw in some jokes once in a while. I can hardly make time to organise events like I used to and I have been late at all batch functions lately. It's very difficult to make time to sit down for a coffee and laugh at the cruelty of life as we used to.

Yet these are the people who would remain there after the adventure is over. They would take you as the same person they have known you all this while.

I went back that night thinking. I went through the list of emails and realised how much I have missed everything and how quickly I had been pulled down by the quick sand of life.

And realised that the one thing I need most is company ;-) at the eleventh hour of the night. Went searching for a song to remember the moment by, only to realise again that it's been ages since I last listen to a song.

This post is useless and meaningless. It's been too long that I last indulged with the finer details of feelings; or what friendship and companionship really means. I am struggling to find words to tell the crazy bunch out there where our place is in each other's life - I am getting worse with words nowadays.

But I hope this will suffice for the time being, as I search for the lost words to convey the message that Noni will always be here. Or that it is very scary to realise you get sucked in too quickly into a mess you don't plan to be initially.

To the Yengkos or Mentulas or whatever you call yourself, you have been the rock of stability that defines many of us. Unspoken words mean a lot more than expressed thoughts.

1 comment:

  1. I know there will be many difficulties and challenges but I am determined to do it. If it does not succeed then it will be a lesson for me as well