UIA 2008: A Series of Post Scripts

For the record, the National School Debating Championship organised by UIA and Ministry of Education concluded this week.

I will not go into the details or specific accounts of the tournament; suffice to say that we lost by a very small margin and a 5:4 jury in the final.

It’s a new team since the legendary team which had been representing koleq since 2004/5/6/7 hit its shelf life last year, with only one speaker remaining (Sdr Affendy Hasni, a Penangite from Permatang Pauh).

The first speaker is Sdr Nasrullah Alimin from Pahang and second speaker – Sdr Aqwa Aliff Jasmi from Melaka; Fendy being the third speaker.

For English, we sent the junior team made up of Form 3s and Form 2; with a bigger picture in mind as these debaters will hopefully rise up to the occasion to fulfill their potential. If everything goes to plan, we should live among another legendary team which will rock UIA/PPM for the next few years – the way the BM team had done in the past few years.

But for every start, there must be an end. Life is like a wheel, it’s the compulsory exchanges of fortunes and tribulations that constantly renew our resolves to improve. It reminds us of the prerequisites for success and for maintaining the success. Along the way we need to rejuvenate – and for rejuvenation to take place, we need to come down and remember the pain; for us to long for the victory.

We come to that junction in 2008 for the BM team – as how we had done so in 2006 for the English team.

Looking back, they (the boys this year) had beaten my expectation.

To understand the difficulty, we need to understand the greatness of this one phenomenal debater Sdr Affendy Hasni, Class of 2008. I had known MCKK and Malaysian schools’ debating standards since 1990. I had never met a debater as talented, bright, sharp, witty and spectacular like him – in every sense of the word. His showmanship is something that I had not seen before. Even the legend among the many legends we have in our debating annals since 1980s onwards – Allahyarham Adlan Benan Omar – cannot come to his standard when it comes to wit and showmanship (though Ben was definitely ahead in terms of knowledge and sharpness). I carved my own personal history in Malaysian schools’ debating competitions yet I would have looked foolish if I were to face him back then.

Against this background, the tasks that the 2 new speakers (Aqwa and Nash) had to carry were of the tallest order – as they needed to be as strong as Fendy, for the team to be considered formidable. Debate is a team effort – a mismatch of strengths between the debaters usually spells a defeat.

Over the last one year, coaching and observing them – I had resigned to the fact that we would not even qualify to the final this year, given the intense competition at UIA.

But they picked up their courage, withstood the intense pressure and expectation that I piled on them and soldiered on. It was a fight to the tooth and nail till the end (if you think watching a football or rugby game is breathtaking – wait until you battle it out in the debating room to understand the meaning of “when the time stops and your heart does not beat anymore”).

And they went to the final – it was not only Fendy’s efforts; but the toils of each and everyone of them especially Aqwa and Nash; who had feared this big burden since day 1 – knowing that they had to stand by the side of the legend of Malaysian debating circle of the 2005 onwards.

From that perspective, they have done well. As usual each time we lose, they avoid me – either out of guilt, shame, fear, frustration – perhaps bits of everything. I sat down with the two of them in their cramped little room later and told them that it was OK. They managed to control their emotions for a while (boys like to control macho) but failed miserably when I told them that I was proud of them in every sense of the words – because they had risen to the occasion and they had earned our respect for being able to be in the same league of the people before them. If nobody had told them before – they were made of sterner stuff and are more than capable to win PPM and UIA; much better than many who had done it before them.

But we cannot disguise our sadness that we didn’t win – after all, who wouldn’t be sad if you know the ordeals everyone in the team went through to be where we were. Despite this, I reminded everyone in the coaches’ team that we should not lose sight of the achievements for the past 5 years just because we managed to pull it off. In retrospect; it’s a very tall order for any school or any generation of MCKK debaters to have done this:

1) The only school to have gone to the final 5 consecutive times from 2004 to 2008

2) The only school to have gone to both finals (BM and English) in the same year in 2004

3) The only school to have dominated Best Speaker Overall title four out of five years (2004 – Sdr Zaim, 2006 – Sdr Aslam, 2007 & 2008 – Sdr Affendy)

4) The only school to have won Best Speaker Final title 3 years in a row (2006 to 2008 – Sdr Affendy)

5) The only school to have won complete majority decision (9 – 0, 7 – 0) in the knock-out rounds from double octofinals to final (in 2007)

I do not have any regret for the last five years when it comes to the team – I am sure neither Allahyarham Ben, Allahyarham Shahrol nor Fazurin. We live among the giants of our time and people will look back one day and feel the longing for a bench of spectacular speakers like them.

But the real prize is not in the trophy but in the final product – just as the real prize for a pudding is in the eating.

We (the senior coaches) spent an equal time and emphasis at coaching the present debaters; and grooming the junior debaters to become good coaches. Barely 5 months after leaving koleq, these boys assumed the roles with maturity and in full cognizant of the responsibility they shoulder. They divided themselves to North Zone and UIA (which clashed this year) and provided support to the teams in every aspect. They did not complain or whine of the routines they had to endure throughout the tournament – wake up at 6 am, nothing to eat (not enough time!) until dinner at around 9 pm+ because we had to be with the boys all the time, come back to prepare points and research until 3 am. For one week, it was a hectic 3-hour sleep each day. The night before the final, preparation went until 1 am, the junior coaches had to ensure the boys slept well, then wake up at 4 am to prepare breakfast – started discussion at 5 am and checked on the boys’ hair, baju melayu, the buttons etc.

It was a standard we set a long time ago – a standard they readily assumed as theirs.

So in that overall perspective, I think Ben and Shahrol had not spent their time in vain. They would be very proud – as proud as I am – of Izzat (who will assume the role of leader of the pack in the near future), Helman, Haqqa, Bucks, Aslam, Aleng, Nab, Ed and Jijoe. For the first time since 1994, we can take comfort that when we withdraw, the consistency in the standards that we expect from debaters – in terms of intellect, resilience, magnanimity, maturity when dealing with setbacks, sacrifices – will continue. This is the best prize that any coaches can ever ask from.

2008 will finally see the transition from my generation of coaches to theirs. Slowly but surely, more and more decisions will be devolved to them until such time in 2010/2011 that we only provide financial and emotional supports. And they will do well, much better than we had, Insya Allah.

POST SCRIPT

“Assm cikgu, terima kasih atas kesabaran menjaga budak2 n melayan karenah saya. Kita mungkin tidak berjaya pada zahirnya, tetapi melihatkan Izzat, Helman, Aslam, Aleng, Ed dan Nab – mereka ini mempunyai nilai pengorbanan yg sgt tinggi. Merekalah kejayaan terbesar kita, walaupun tidak diiktiraf. Kita telah memainkan peranan yg sgt baik mendidik mereka menjadi org berguna. Merekalah kejayaan terbesar dalam hidup saya setakat ini. Terima kasih sekali lagi – mungkin rezeki mckk terletak kpd kelangsungan budaya yg kita ada, bukannya piala pusingan. Wassalam”

“Assm. Cg kira terima kasih itu sewajarnya dtgnya drp cg. Cg sngt hargai semua pengorbanan awak semua. Utk pengetahuan awak setiap kali balik dr pertandingan cg akan menangis mengenangkan itu semua. Org xkan faham hatta sherry juga tanya knp sdgkan bm selalu dpt keddukan yg baik. Cg menangis – satu pd “kerja gila” awak semua yg x difahami org. Satu lg bg pihak pembahas yg bermcm2, hanya sedar bila dah jd bekas pembahas. Tp xpe spt kt awak kelangsungan budaya itu yg penting. Dlm dewan, melihat mckk berdiri cg fikirkan org2 yg pernah bersama cg. Melihat fendy beraksi, cg teringat pd ben. Sesungguhnya cg siang tadi bak kata izzat “awan terpilu lidahnya kelu mendengar berita yg haru”. Maafkan cg n terima kasih drp cg n pembahas”

FLASHBACK – LEADING UP TO PPM 2004

25/5/2004:

“Dear all -

Since no one is communicating about plans and since I have the most to lose (plane tickets, etc), here are the rules for Kangar.

MUQADDIMAH:
The Prophet SAW said: "No Believer travels in Company except that One of Them becomes the Amir".

Therefore, I appoint myself Penghulu of the House and Rizal will be the Deputy Penghulu.

CHECK IN:
This is my plan for Saturday et al.

My car will be leaving KL at 9 am on Saturday 29th May. We hope to reach Kangar in the afternoon. Rizal will collect keys to bungalow and those who come late please call Rizal on 012-3708890 for directions. The bungalow is near to the Bus Station.

towels
toothbrush
blankets
other creature comforts

RULES:
The bungalow is non-smoking and strict seniority by age to book beds/bathrooms. Where persons are of the same age, number of As received in SPM take precedence. Each person is to pay RM90 regardless, in advance, not including deposit for keys, key rings, etc.

No food, drinks or chewing gum is allowed in the house except by strict permission of the Penghulu or the Deputy Penghulu. Any contraveners will be expelled at one hour notice.

Immediate expulsion will be imposed for:
1. Whining/Complaining
2. Losing the keys
3. Losing the key-ring
4. Stealing food/drinks/etc
5. Excessive coughing (except asthmatics)
6. Excessive heart beatings (except with doctor's letter)
7. Chewing gum
8. Watching sports on TV
9. Nudity
10. Bathing (with flowers or not) with the boys
11. Insulting His Royal Highness the Regent of Perlis and his consort

PLAN:
We intend to meet the boys that night. I reserve the right not to participate any further should the boys are: rude, discourteous, lazy, idiotic etc etc. Only the Deputy Penghulu shall hold the keys when the house is vacant.

CHECK OUT:
I will leave Kangar on Wednesday 2nd June and the last person to leave must surrender the keys to the owner (the number is with Rizal). The house must be vacated by 3rd June as there is another party who have reserved the place.

Remember, "bekerja bersama saya, bukan untuk saya".

Sekian, timaseh!”

8/4/2004:

“Dear all

Thanks to all for the effort and understanding - couldn't have asked for more. I am also sorry to Ben especially for being such a control freak and a dickhead and difficult - just too scared that the mistake on my part will cause them the trophy... after what happened at UIA.

I have to redo and recompile most of the points because they were off tangent or not too strong. Fazurin made a good point that it's a bit useless to discuss points through e-mails as it is not the same with sitting down and going through it, so I don't know whether we should meet again one week before Kangar to really agree on the points. If that cannot be done, we have to keep vetting.

And Fazurin - you need to somehow give back or rebrief me on the amendments made to the student politics topics since you have the hard copy, I don't...

I had stopped thinking about the ring, so bewildered by it - I take it that Fazurin did not find the ring in his car. It's either I have to reimburse Ben in cash or get a replacement, I've checked the website and can get the replacement online - so Ben, we need to discuss this?

Mr Anand sent his regards and he SMSed (on behalf of Cikgu Yatie too) that there is no greatest pleasure for a teacher than to see his students contribute to the society, to his ownself, and to his juniors' development...

Will revisit the contentious points and improve and send for vetting regularly - before we send the final draft to the boys in 2 weeks' time.

Ben, do I have to pick you up at any airport on 29th?”

10/4/2004:

“Dear everyone,

We should now feel more confident as I think the boys have been quite forthcoming with their own views on the topics and we should build the points we give them based in their own ideas and understanding. I think its necessary to meet up prior to Kangar, but if that is simply not possible then we have to use akar instead of rotan and just
e-mail.

As for arrangements, Rizal, Dany and I will drive up on the 29th instead of taking a flight, so we will probably see you there in the afternoon/evening, or do we want to convoy from KL. Unfortunately, it seems unlikely I will stay until 3rd. 2nd seems more likely now...but who knows, they might really pull through.

Raf - re: The One Ring. I'd rather you just pay me the money as I will have to get it fitted to suit me and I'd rather get the original from NZ next time I am there rather than just order it. But at least now we know for sure that Sani is Gollum.

Re: PPM. Is there a dress code?

Cheers”

31/3/04:

“raf -

i really don't want to go - i feel no affinity for those feelas - i did what i did before for u, not these guys - i don't think u understand that - and i think its not fair that i go and put on my munafiq face in front of the boys when i really dont care one way or the other whether they win or not - in fact, i dont even feel like doing anything remotely connected to debating at the mo - so how? can i just go there and sleep? there's a nice gerai by the river to eat nasi ganja....”

31/3/04:

“I think semua buleh confirm they are coming to Kanga' kot..... budak Izrin, debater 2000 (from the "99 winning team" and the only one responsive to our efforts so far) kata he might be able to make it if he lands before 29th... so kalau nak katok Yankee pun buleh..

As for the charge, I detest double discrimination against Petronas and penyus...... the deposit levied for kunci tu memang padan, takut2 ada orang kena panjat bumbung lagi...

But RM75 per head throughout the duration is more than reasonable, although Shahrol should not be included as he is staying at Pokok Sena.

To those who are sorting out annual leave, please do so (this goes out especially to Sani)..

As for the question whether it's worth it or not - sure it's worth it, if not for them, for us. What we do today will ensure that generations of debaters in the future benefit from the close knit friendship we are enjoying now. I don't think the boys are worth it too.... it so happens they are 10 years after my time and it's a convenient date, but they are proving themselves to be worth it with each days passing.

Tapi muat ke 7-8 orang duduk satu bungalow ni, takkan ada orang kena tido luar rumah kot...”

31/3/04:

“Raf et al -

There is no discrimination against turtles. In fact, we discriminate in their favour because turtles usually don't get to live in bungalows, they live by the sea in Kuala Perlis...but we made an ezxception for turtles who have passed their CA exams...

"As I have said, the allocation of financial responsibility is not negotiable. Those who want to appeal cannot because there is no court of appeal, no federal court. Please pay as you have been allocated. After all since when have the opposition ever said we have done anything good. This is my cabinet, I will do it my way" - Dollah Bedak Sejuk

Second, if CHAMPION BASKET CASES 1999 are going, I will seriously consider not going. I have not heard an apology from these self-congratulating basket cases and I will be damned if I have to mix with them, after all they only won PPM 1999, and I won England. So there! Champion Team can go fly kite, as far as I am concerned. I will not go down to their level, sorry.

Third, if the objective is to win PPM vicariously, I and Dany have already done it in 1992. To us, it was a greater achievement because of the long dearth of MCKK win (since Sefudin Dolloh in 1980), we had putty to work with (Badak), a great debater (Kechoque) and a turtle. So there's really nothing for us to gain out of all this, except more bother. Lagipun kitorang MCOBA and all MCOBAs are sworn brothers, betul tak, Shahrol?

Fourthly, kalau banglo tak muat, we will draw lots, those three who lose will have to go home.”

24/3/04:

“Assalamualaikum,

Kepada semua yang telah menghantar mesej kepada saya tempoh hari, diucapkan ribuan terima kasih. Maaf atas keterlewatan ini, tetapi kesihatan saya agak terganggu buat beberapa minggu.

Kejayaan sdr-sdr memasuki pertandingan sedemikian dan memberikan persembahan yang menarik adalah langkah pertama untuk menggondol lebih banyak lagi kejayaan, bukan sahaja untuk PPM, dan bukan sahaja untuk tahun ini, tetapi juga di masa-masa yang akan datang, malah di peringkat lebih tinggi (universiti, dll).

Pembahas-pembahas adalah sejenis manusia yang pelik, yang mana mereka kerapkali muncul di tempat-tempat yang jarang dicapai oleh orang lain. Bahas mengajar kita berfikir, lebih penting dari kemenangan dalam pertandingan ialah kemenangan dalam hidup (dunia dan akhirat). Gunakan kepetahan sdr-sdr untuk menjelajah dunia dalam pelbagai aspek.

Kemengan menyeronokkan, tetapi kekalahan juga mengajar kita. Tidak pernah kalah mungkin menyebabkan kita tidak pernah belajar. Oleh itu, jangan takut dengan kekalahan. Itu resam kehidupan.

Saya mengucapkan syabas atas usaha Sdr-sdr dan saya doakan kesihatan dan kejayaan buat Sdr-sdr di masa akan datang.

Salam ikhlas,

Ben

PS Jika Sdr Raf benar mahu menggantung diri gunakanlah tali yang kuat kerana kegedempolan Sdr mungkin menyebabkan tali rafia kurang sesuai untuk tujuan tersebut ;)”

Bandwagon

Can someone point out to the BN politicians (or any politicians for that matter) who are so gungho about joining the "blog" bandwagon that the phenomenon is not exactly the blog. The manner issues are articulated through the blogs actually what matters most.

It's getting quite amusing (or ridiculous, depending on your humour/cynicism level) that even candidates vying for positions in Umno elections are made to have a blog as a condition for contesting.

Don't they fear that this will humiliate and ridicule Umno further, especially if the candidates themselves cannot articulate much about anything? That it will definitely backfire?

When will these people learn a concept called "substance over form"? Ha ha ha

But then again - maybe that's exactly the strategy. Demean blogs so much with filth, stupidity and bigotry that the general public is so put off with blogs and driven away from it?

Blogs' influence on the GE12 is overrated anyway (me think, at least) - but let the politicians entertain us! Look forward to an interesting circus for the next 6-7 months :-)

PS:

- UIA Debating Tournament is from 12/4 to 16/4 in UIA (yaaaa haaaaa), the boys are defending the championship

- North Zone Hockey U16 is from 1 - 4 May in Syed Putra, please join in the family holidays in Kangar (the only state in Western/Northern coast of Malaysia still under BN ha ha ha, Perlis should market itself like that)

Wedding Reviews

This is really late – I have 3 outstanding wedding reviews for Sharap’s, Jita’s and Auzir’s. The race is still on whether anyone can beat the crappiest wedding so far (ha ha totally from my perspective) that was so easily won by Fido hands down (read the review here).

In a way all 3 were extremely close to me in koleq and throughout the last 10-15 years. Auzir was a dorm mate since we were in Form 3 and our beds faced each other in 1994 future. Once upon a time, we know each other at back of our hands.

Sharap was perhaps one of the closest batchmate in my company in 1994. It was an odd situation – because I was one of the most vocal in insisting that some prefects from our batch were sacked at the end of 1993 “to start fresh in 1994” so to speak. Due to a combination of factors, Sharap was one who was made to relinquish his prefectship. He took it well, ate the humble pie and went through the so-called “rehabilitation” so well that rarely I have met a person with so much dignity, humility and decency before or after Malay College. In that rehabilitation period we became close because our dorm was next to each other and became confidante to each other. He too is privy to many of my skeletons in the closet as much as I his. On the Graduation Day on 14 November 1994, I gave the pen that the school awarded to me for an overall best student award to Sharap; for him to keep as a remembrance of our friendship (which he better keeps till now because one day I might ask him to reproduce!)

I was never close to Jita in koleq – apart from being in the same class in Form 5 and same English set. But we were thrown to a really miserable school called Morrison’s Academy in Scotland for A-Level and it was then that I discovered his kindness. Jita could have been too brash when he was in koleq (ha ha he can still be now) that many people did not have the opportunity to ever get really close to him to know the kind heart beneath the brashness. Throughout my years in the UK, he was one of the very few who stood loyally throughout the turbulence and madness that was often associated with me – either through our society activities or in my own private life. Once I decided to do a UK-wide newsletter for Malaysian A-Level students – it was quite crazy considering I was in the middle of nowhere, had no money and despised by most of the people whom I was supposed to be serving. I didn’t even have a laptop or access to a computer back then. I just wanted to do it because I was bored stuck in a middle of nowhere revising A-Level subjects all the time (errr actually playing cards all the time).

Understandably everyone thought I was mad and never took me seriously. The seniors I guess looked at me as the idiot from MCKK who thought too much of himself. My other scholarship batchmates from other schools didn’t want to have anything to do with it. But Jita (despite his obvious reluctance of getting dragged into another “Pinky and The Brain” scheme) actually offered his assistance and did not ridicule me the way others did. Eventually his dad bought him a laptop (an Olivetti brick-type laptop; the password of which we – myself, Fadli and Allen – cracked in a matter of a few weeks ha ha. First it was “abah”, then it was “sudip”; as a tribute to one of his private jokes with his ex-girl friend at the time). We did go ahead and by the time we left A-Level; we did have the bulletin circulated to most of Malaysian students doing A-Level in the UK.

So naturally when I went on to become Chairman of UKEC, I trusted no one else to become Vice-Chairman of Finance (the treasurer) but Jita, who occupied the post for 2 full terms. He even used his ASB savings to pay for one of the events in 1997; which the society still owes him till this very day.

Jita was by far the most loaded among all of us, so he had his own nice apartment in Earl’s Court throughout our UK years (which we subsequently called B&B). We eventually hijacked the place and turned into our own HQ, the venue of so many fond memories during our university years – from reunion, to strip poker, to farewell and anything under the sun.

Nowadays he is a lot more averse to any “Pinky and The Brain” schemes, preferring to play a devil’s advocate role to convince me that my idea was too out of this world. Of all people – apart from Fadli; he knows most if not all of the skeletons in my closet. Likewise I can dictate event by event of his own “things I don’t want people to know” ha ha.

So for each wedding, I shall give the reviews as follows:

JITA

Surprisingly it was a very modest wedding; not even a sitting down wedding that is so common nowadays (but I hate so much since I would be stuck sitting from beginning to the end). Though the VIPs included Tan Sri Noor Yaacob and Tan Sri Hassan Marican; all in all it was a very traditional wedding that was down to earth. [ME LIKE, 4 stars]

"Milik siapakah perut ini, bagai berkurun lama kelaparan..."

Food was not bad, but guests would have to wait for a full quorum at each table – that sometimes you ended up with strangers you don’t know. I guess it’s a trade off between being extremely kampong-like where you can sit anywhere and trying not to waste too much food since it was a served function. [ME GRUMBLE A BIT LAAAA…. 3 stars]

Attendance wise, this is one of the highest since it was in KL. Even those who work overseas (Fadli from Singapore, Chamat from Beijing and Fazurin from DC, Wong from entah mana2 dia kena pi offshore) were all there, lucky Jita. I forfeited RM300 after being caught talking on the cell phone while driving; because at the moment I picked Chamat’s call to give direction – there was a police car exactly on my right. But the RM300 was worth it (it will not be taken into account in the review :-p ) considering this was the largest gathering so far of any wedding. In fact after that, everyone adjourned to Epit’s house for a mini gathering on the pretext to discuss Sukanterer (although the ones who really discussed Sukanterer tak sampai 7 orang pun, yang lain datang melantak. Itu pun La’ba, Mattop and Chamat couldn’t agree on 5 Sc 2 list till the end!). [ME WAS TOUCHED BY ATTENDANCE…. 5 stars]

Weather – great, no complaint as it was held inside the Putrajaya Hall. [ME INDIFFERENT… 3 stars]

SHARAP

I went with Pejal in his new Accord, so the travelling was smooth…. until we reached Kuantan. It was embarrassing that having worked in Kuantan for 2 years, lived in Kemaman all my life and had been to Sharap’s house 4 times, I actually forgot how to go to his place from Bandar Kuantan. So we had to rely on the stupid GPS which kept directing us to the same place over and over again. Fortunately our lateness was not an issue, since we were the only ones from KL that day. Apart from Pejal and I, only Fly, Mumtazi and Toje attended. Therefore attendance wise…… Sharap sudah sampai taraf nyaris dibuang batch. [ME HAVE TO BE IMPARTIAL…. 2 stars]

Food was excellent, really nice and dimasak oleh pak sedara Sharap some more. Dah le tu, we were among the last so makan 2-3 pinggan (Pejal tu, bukan aku) pun tak de yang kisah. [ME LIKE….. 5 stars]

Weather was mendung2 ala nak tak nak – nak terang pun tak nak, nak mendung pun tak nak. Tapi tak de puting sapa2 yang jadi mangsa hujan, so masih dikira bagus. My guess is Sharap actually hired a good bomoh hujan that’s why weather was mendung2 nak tak nak, fighting the spell and charm (apa beza spell and charm?) of the bomoh hujan. [ME WAS IMPRESSED…. 4 stars]

Owh it was a buffet style traditional wedding. No qualm, just how I like it. [SMASHING … 4 stars]

AUZIR

Despite the location which was Jawang – the turn up was surprisingly high! Some of us the Bapak Itik took the opportunity to do training for the kids; and I conducted the same for debaters, so that pushed the attendance. But even without us – there were many others who had been missing reunions such as Amoeba (YB yang banyak complain pasal everything tapi nyaris nak kena buang batch sebab tak datang past reunions, nasib baik Sukanterer datang even though late). Dah le tu the location was not the easiest to find ha ha; at a junction near the bridge we saw Syed Moto in his car. Syed would have known Auzir’s place since he was the matchmaker, so we let him overtook us and followed him. We (Joe was in my car) realised he was going the wrong way but gave him the benefit of the doubt; thinking maybe he was taking a short cut. It was only after a while we realised he was zigzagging and swaying (but then initially we thought it was normal since what do you expect from Syed Moto?) that we realised we were lost and he was asking us to take the lead. Moral nya: jangan sekali2 suruh Dr M lead the way on the road. Plus, there were others from Class of 91 i.e. Jimie and Aum who came all the way from KL; jambu jugak si Auzir ni. [Owh I digress, ATTENDANCE WAS SUPERB …. 5 stars]

Food? He he he yang ni panjang ceritanya, sila lihat rentetan peristiwa bergambar di bawah.

Tetamu mula2 sampai, diberitahu kena tunggu jap kot sebab tengah masak second round.

Tetamu menghabiskan masa usik mengusik dan bertanya khabar, sementara menunggu makanan (tapi peluh mula turun sebab agaklah panas….)

Ketibaan Raja Batak (and dia pun aspire to be Raja Lawak) all the way from JB membawa perut dan isteri, penantian masih belum berakhir.

Akhirnya resignation set in yang makanan sudah habis and for once, bukan kitorang yang habiskan! Maka sidang tergempar di buat untuk mencari apa tindakan selepas ini.

Epit yang tidak percaya dengan keadaan ini bermain buaian Bawang Putih Bawang Merah (tapi tak sedar berat badan) sehingga koyak dan putus buaian kat rumah Auzir. Lain kali timbang dulu.

Keputusan mesyuarat batch tergempar adalah kita perlu “cut our losses” dan mengisi perut di tempat lain. Kita balas dendam kat Auzir dengan cara lain, termasuklah melalui wedding review yang akan masuk blog batch. Maka pergilah beramai2 mengucapkan “Hi” dan “Selamat Pengantin Baru” kepada Auzir (kesian Auzir, dia tak tahu pun masalah besar yang kami lalui, dia ingat kami happy sebab dok snap gambar dia)

Rombongan batch pun meninggalkan majlis dan bergerak ke destinasi seterusnya – Benteng di KK sebab nak isi perut! KNO tak puas hati sambil menunjukkan kolam ikan yang jadi landmark dalam peta, sebab kolam ikan itu sangatlah misleading.

Tetapi Raja Batak langsung tidak patah semangat. Dengan tanpa malu atau segan silu, dia join rombongan pengantin perempuan melantak di khemah pengantin perempuan. Tak cukup dengan itu, dia seret bininya sekali untuk turut sama melantak. Dan bila dah habis makan, dia siap tapau karipap dalam poketnya, perangai lama tapau karipap dalam poket masa snack tak dapat dibuang.

Kami yang lain-lain berundur (sambil licking our wounds) ke Benteng. Setelah segala maki-hamun, last2 mak Dr M yang terhibur dengan perangai kami belanja kitorang kat Benteng…. Fuyoooo, selamat aku, kalau tak sah2 aku lah jadi mangsa hari tu.



Keesokan harinya, Auzir datang melawat koleq nak jumpa kitorang yang masih ada dengan anak2 itik and debaters, sambil membawa nasi lemak. Dia baru tahu kelaparan budak2 batchnya semalam – and he knew well enough that perkara perut lapar ni boleh menyebabkan pertumpahan darah or putus saudara dalam batch kami.

Tak cukup dengan itu, masa reunion Sukanterer hari tu, sekali lagi Haji Auzir sediakan makanan free, breakfast beriani untuk semua badak2 pelahap yang lambat bangun tido lepas penat berlarian di padang.

Atas sebab itu, keseluruhannya wedding Auzir diberi 4 bintang kerana kesungguhannya untuk cuba lari dari sama taraf ngan Fido.

KESIMPULAN

Penarafan wedding setakat ini:

1) Jita – 4 bintang
2) Auzir – 4 bintang
3) Sharap – 3.8976 bintang
4) Fido – masih lagi dengan 5 jamban


EXTRA PHOTOS:

Jita’s wedding, makan2 kat rumah Epit lepas wedding Jita, Auzir’s wedding

Mighty Ducks Camping 2008

And the list of top 3s is as follows:

LAST MINUTE SUPRISES

1st Place:

A: “Awak kena cancel laa….”

B: “Apsal plak…?”

A: “Takde cikgu nak jadi guru pengiring, sebab cikgu yang sepatutnya pergi dah pergi program lain sebab ingat cancel”

B: “Aik apsal pulak cancel..?”

A: “Hari tu awak cakap sebab tak de bas, jadi mungkin kena cancel.. jadi kami ingat cancel la”

B: “Saya cakap hari tu, since koleq tak boleh bagi bas, let us find a bus. If tak dapat jugak then we have to cancel la. Tapi we did get the bus and the way it should be, unless we communicate in writing that it’s called off, it stands like that laa”

A & B for a while: “%GH&^$#$(()MMK))(&&^^$$###%*&&…”

B: “Macam mana pun cikgu, saya tak leh cancel. If we can make time and Chamat balik all the way from Beijing, other people put aside other commitments for budak2 ni, it looks really bad if we have to cancel sebab tak de cikgu pengiring. What are we going to tell the boys and other old boys?”

A: “OK la kira jadi la macam mana pun”

2nd Place:

“Kenapa ramai orang kat sini? Wong, aku ingat we’ve booked? Takkan double booking lagi”

“Dik, errrr why ramai orang? Where are we going to camp?”

“Alamak Bang, diorang patut check out pagi ni, tapi tak check out lagi. Abang boleh camp kat sini, or kat sana, or kat sana – kemudian petang ni dah tak de orang”

“Why laaaaa kena ada surprises macam ni”

3rd Place:

“We are at Ipoh. Tesco opens at 830 am so just nice nak shopping barang2” – SMS, 659 am

“Laaaa tak cekap la macam ni ****. I need badut here to run everything. I also need you guys to get the tong gas. And I wanted to brief you guys as all of u x pegi satu meeting pun. Now it’s only me and kno to run handle everything. U guys hvnt done camping n x know how humungous everything. Seriously I wish u guys didn’t go for ngeteh ngn fadli, dat cud ve waited. Teambuilding once a year la. Anyway I’ll call u in half an hour for instruction” – SMS, 714 am

“Chamat, where are u now? What? Kat Sungei Buloh? I need you around now… Hmm tak pe lah try to get here asap”

“Korang punya pasal la, ***** dah frantic and expected me to be there sekarang”

FROM DISASTER TO BLESSING

1st Place:

Hujan turun mencurah-curah (and tak de kena mengena ngan nyanyian sumbang budak2 tu because this started way in the afternoon). It didn’t stop dari tengahari sampai malam to the point that most of us memang basah kuyup throughout.

Because tent budak2 ni semua dah banjir – literally naik air; tak sampai hati la pulak nak suruh anak2 orang ni tido dalam air. Ada yang kena pneumonia lak. So bagi lah diorang tido kat chalet.

Masa kat chalet nil ah banyak perangai yang kitorang pick up nak buat modal nak conduct Common Room/Firedrill ha ha ha.

2nd Place:

Sebab hujan mencurah2, teambuilding game “Human Transporter” yang sepatutnya dibuat tengah padang tak leh buat and kena buat kat dining area. Sebab lantainya simen, tak dopet lak nak buat line atas tu, so kena la pakai tali raffia buat border; yang budak2 ni kena lompat. That added another dimension to the game which the boys seemed to enjoy a lot more.

3rd Place:

Wong tak de! Wong tak de! Mula2 punya la jugak panic Bapak2 Itik sebab satu-satunya instructor bertauliah untuk benda2 outdoor ni tak de, Wong had to be around his dad who was undergoing operations that weekend so had to cancel last minute.

Sebelum2 ni, semua camping kena ikut schedule dia. Kalau dia pi backpacking kat hujung dunia mana2 ntah, kena laa kitorang tunggu. Dah le nak match ngan koleq timetable and our work commitment, macam nak rak planning.

But now ha ha kitorang dah tahu we don’t need Wong after all. Lepas ni teambuilding x yah tunggu Wong ha ha ha.

PALING SYOK

1st Place:

Panggil budak2 Form 4 (Holland, Arip, Kwang, Farid, Meor, Mungir and Kalou) lepas suruh semua junior jalan towards the entrance of the camp (2 km away). Suruh diorang berdiri elok2, tangan dekat belakang and tunduk bawah. Then start maki hamun.

Ha ha Common Room zaman dulu pun tak macam ni, dulu at least kena maki ngan Form 5, ni kena maki dengan people twice your age.

“You guys ni fail la. &*#*%^. We are not convinced you are serious. You have attitude problem”.
“Diorang tak paham kau cakap macam tu. Be blunt je. Korang ni KURANG AJAR! Tak dengar cakap. Main-main”.

Lepas tu kitorang buat deal ngan budak2 ni.

“You choose. Korang nak kitorang stay lagi ngan korang tak? Tak de orang peduli kat korang or your game, kitorang je yang akan ada for your game”

“Nak”

“OK then this is the deal. You have one month, we will observe perangai korang. If korang tak berubah by end of SBP North Zone – we will walk out, or we will sack korang semua and kitorang akan hantar budak2 F2 pergi national level of U18 next year”

Throughout the whole ordeal (for them) aku punya lah nak tergelak of having to do this at this age. And punyalah kesian tengok muka2 budak ni kena marah.

Tengah kena lecture tu pulak hujan pun turun. Ha ha ha basah kuyup budak2 ni kena lecture dalam hujan, while we all lepak bawah pondok. Ha ha ha I should have taped that, tapi tak sampai hati.

“Sorry bang”.

“Don’t be sorry or apologise ngan kitorang. Apologise ngan F5 and F2. Diorang yang dok cover korang while korang main2. As it is korang dah completely lost their respect. Work hard to get that respect”

And dengan muka berkobar2 budak2 ni jalan dalam hujan for 2 km nak cari bas yang sedang menunggu.

2nd Place:

BBQ and karaoke that night. Budak2 tu punya singing tak yah cakap la kan, you just have to watch the video to judge. But to see budak2 ni enjoying themselves and escaped from the taxing routine in boarding school (once in a while) was a pure joy.

It’s not we want them to be as gila2 as us (that is not advisable), yet sometimes budak2 ni uptight sangat. It’s not the kind of childhood I wish for anyone. We want them to have fun, so that night at least they had fun.

3rd Place:

I was not around during the morning session (Explorace) on the second day, as I have to run a Career Discovery Workshop in MCKK.

When I came back, all the trainers requested for an EGM.

“Ni macam EGM yang Ku Li mintak ni”.

“Hah? Korang nak gulingkan aku ke ni? Bosannya for the first time aku tak leh nak membebel banyak sbb I don’t know what’s going on”.

Maka EGM diantara itik2 gemuk pun diconvenekan.

“Kitorang dah nak give up laa ngan Form 4 ni… &^%%$&*(^%$”

Unlike UMNO, maka perbahasan berjalan dengan baik. Masing2 bagi pendapat and finally we reached a conclusion – ha ha ha bagi diorang another chance and buat Common Room.

The thing is, deep inside all of us saying gle kat budak2 ni and ada orang go through withdrawal syndrome nya if we were to abandon them now.

So far all went well. The thing is the first batch (Class of 2008) was nearly perfect in every sense – but what we sometimes forget is that budak2 ni memang budak2 baik and top students kat koleq pun. Tapi not every batch’s hockey players macam tu. So we have to accept them as they are la, and work with them.

The F4s are not to blame – if you grow up in koleq nya environment yang tak de fire drill or Common Room, and stay in one batch forever, what do you expect. They don’t even know some of the things they do tu orang tak suka.

WHAT MADE IT ALL WORTH IT

1st Place:

Looking at how much budak2 Class of 2008 have changed. Masa mula2 start pun macam ni jugak. Ada macam2 hal, each dengan perangai masing2. I’ve written about this before.

The boys now are super efficient and very matured. They know what to do, what are their roles. They play the role of abang to the juniors, they look after the juniors.

Sangat2 lah eager in all the modules assigned to them. Diorang kena organise module Explorace ngan Badut & KNO and they participated with ideas, executed the whole thing with near perfection.

Looking at them pun kitorang rasa sejuk hati and proud.

If every batch who goes through projek bodoh anak2 itik ni comes out like this – well who gives a damn diorang menang hoki ke tak. We have touched their lives and they were not hesitant to show it to us.

2nd Place:

“Salam.. Abg kitorng bru blek training.. New spirit. Mmg patut pon kitorng kena marah. We all sdr prngi we all cm2 tp tngl xde orng nk tgr n beri prhatian. Thanx 4 da ‘adat istiadat’ in the rain. Assalamualaikum” – SMS, 23/3/2008 19:28:13

“Salam.. Lth x? Sure lth gler kn smlm? Kim slm kt sume coach tau. Xpcialy abg chamat yg dr jauh 2.. N not 4get abg badut coz both of them generous ble snyum” – SMS, 24/3/2008 17:05:57

“Salam.. ble all da picture n video nk msk kt dlm blog 9094.. Kalo bley mskkn tau.. I want 2 keep all them 4 my souvenir 4 all ur kindness =p ..” – SMS, 24/3/2008 19:16:57

3rd Place:

Kitorang konvoi sampai ke Tapah, then berhenti kat Dunkin Donuts kat Tapah.

We do this all the time – the withdrawal syndrome (“camping blues”) memang payah nak hilang right after habis.

Borak2 pasal budak2 tu, gelak all the things yang dibuat. Sometimes I am not sure mana yang lagi meaningful – the close bond dengan anak2 itik; or the close bond dengan bapak2 itik. It’s like koleq days all over again – so focused and hell bent on achieving a goal and everyone worked hard and contributed.

I guess the best part is that all of us have matured and each time aku tengok Chibiok datang bawak makanan for budak2 ni (and us), it tickles my heart. This is someone yang masa kat koleq dulu the joke was – “sepuluh kau cakap, sebelas orang tak percaya” or to quote Shahamarba “kalau jumpa Chibiok ngan ular, kau pukul Chibiok dulu”.

Of course the joke was always on me la…

Chibiok: “Kau tahu tak sebab apa Rough paling last dalam convoy? Sebab dia patah balik pi mintak maaf ngan budak2 tu”

Thank you very much to all – bapak2 itik, anak2 itik. It makes our respective lives more meaningful; the hectic office routine draws too much energy and we need this to rejuvenate.

Next stop – SBP North Zone.

NOTE

Of course yang patutnya masuk list on its own is Epit's "aaaghhhhhhhhh aku terdelete semua gambar aku ambik hari tu". For the record, Epit dengan camera besor (SLR nya) and gaya2 paparazzi meniarap kiri meniarap kanan tak sudah2 ambik gambar hari tu. But when it comes to showing the photos...... AWAK MEMANG FAIL LAAA FECT EPIT.

KNO's version is here, more photos here.

A SHOOTING STAR: ADLAN BENAN OMAR (1973 – 2008)

Much has been written about the late Adlan Benan Omar (Mohd Shah, Class of 90) and you only need to Google him to find out. This account is not intended as an obituary of his colourful life; rather a reflection of the 17 years that I spent with him from the days of Malay College Kuala Kangsar.

PART I

“.. so how did you know him?”
“..well, he was appointed late as a prefect so one assembly, there was this huge prefect receiving a standing ovation...”

The conversation took place between me and Rizal (an ex-Cambridge lad who look after Ben all this while) on 15th January 2008 at the UMMC around 10 pm while Ben was having his routine dialysis. By then it was very clear that he (Ben) might not be around for long unless miracles happened.

I would remember that conversation with Rizal until my last breath, because despite our individual closeness to Ben, Rizal and I actually did not communicate much. I love him for looking after Ben all this while – a responsibility that I know was partly mine all along but was very bad at it; he (Rizal) must have felt the closeness by virtue of my closeness to Ben. But our relationship was awkward to say the least.

So the fact that we started to reflect the initial days that we knew Ben somehow signaled the resignation that the ‘end’ was near. It was poignant because both Rizal and I knew by then that it was a matter of days before it could happen.

My first recollection of Ben was a ceremony to appoint one Adlan Benan Omar as a prefect in my first month in MCKK. It was memorable because the name “Benan” was uncommon; plus he received a standing ovation while making his way to the stage.

Over the months, Ben had a lasting impression on me because of his oratory skills. To others in my batch, he was one of the kindest prefect-on-duty (together with Azizan Din) during the prep time inspection. Unlike some prefects who would tear our desk cover or punished us for the littlest mistake, Ben spent more time correcting our English (e.g. once someone wrote “Silent is golden” after which he spent some time explaining why it should have been “silence”).

It was these two traits – his oratory (and intellect) and kindness that eventually made us some sort of a tag team in many adventures that we had had together; from the college days all the way to the reformasi experience and beyond.




PART II

“..Third, if the objective is to win PPM vicariously, I and Dany have already done it in 1992. To us, it was a greater achievement because of the long dearth of MCKK win (since Sefudin Dolloh in 1980), we had putty to work with (Badak), a great debater (Kechoque) and a turtle. So there's really nothing for us to gain out of all this, except more bother. Lagipun kitorang MCOBA and all MCOBAs are sworn brothers, betul tak, Shahrol?”

- email 31 March 2004, discussing the merit of coaching MCKK debating teams

I had been a school debater since my primary school days – apparently I never know when to shut up. In MCKK, each year the senior debaters would carry out a “screen test” to select new debaters for his batch to progress to represent koleq in future years.

As a Form 1, I never knew my “potential” (as it was referred to by Ben over and over again in my junior years) but I realized a string of interest from the senior debaters of my ability to speak; after a few months in college. While some others were more forthcoming (e.g. Dany wanted me to go to PPM – those days it was unheard of that a F1 could go to PPM); Ben kept a distance for a while. I remember that he smiled all the time when I debated, though he rarely said much.

But as a debater, he was to inspire a generation of debaters that MCKK had produced. I remember the inter-house competition in 1990 – on Saturday night he represented MS in the English section and won; the next night he won the Malay section. He was the first bilingual debater I met in my life and he was legendary in both.

In the 90s, the PPM was won repeatedly by RMC helmed by one Arulkanda Kandasamy. Later on we crossed path as the three of us were all in UKEC in the UK – and Arulkanda (the legend of the Malaysian debating circles) used to marvel endlessly at Ben’s debating prowess.

Ben went to Abingdon in Oxfordshire for his A-Level; became the first Malay head boy elected by popular votes and in his final year, won a UK-wide debate representing Abingdon.

Throughout the 2 years he was at Abingdon, our correspondence increased. He used to write on monthly basis to me – encouraging me to work hard to recapture PPM (which was last won by the newly minted YB of Temerloh, Datuk Saifuddin Abdullah in 1980). PPM by then was becoming a Holy Grail that every debater in MCKK spent our lifetime trying to win.

The friendship (between a legendary figure by MCKK’s standard and a junior who barely uttered 10 words to him while he was in MCKK) grew as our letters went back and forth (and this was during the snail mail era between Oxfordshire and Kuala Kangsar).

In 1992, I had my first ‘cap’ representing MCKK as a first speaker – a Form 3 leading a debating team, which was not so common in those days. It was a combination of Ben’s “wasiat” to the teachers as well as the teachers’ own pragmatism to promote meritocracy and break the stranglehold of “seniors-come-first” mentality. The correspondence increased as I kept sending him request for assistance with our points. He never failed to come back with a list of issues and facts for us to consider in our debates.

Nobody paid attention to us – not budak koleq, not the old boys, not even the school – as we were a bunch of first timers. Most of the attention went to the Cagers and English debaters. We were expected to lose in the first round.


Suddenly against all odds we broke the curse of 12 years and went to the final against the defending champion – all thanks to Ben. Fortunately the final was carried out annually during the summer break, so he came back from Oxfordshire to coach us.

It was only in August 1992 – after 2 years’ worth of correspondence – that I had a decent conversation with him for the first time. I remember he drove me (he was 19 years old then) in his old Saga to buy food to and fro Sekolah Alam Shah (where we were staying) throughout the preparation and looked after us.

He would explain the issue and then related the issue to the facts – so that we (myself, Badak Class of 92 as the second speaker and Kechoq Class of 93 as the third speaker) really understood the flow of thoughts. Then he would drill us with the rebuttal training – a bombardment of rebuttal upon rebuttal impromptu to train our “reflex” when dealing with opponent’s arguments. In the end, more than 90% of our text and argument was his – the only remaining 10% was what we had to come up for ourselves if the opponents went off-track in their arguments.

That year we won PPM and the jubilant celebration by the present and old boys at Dewan Muktamar that night was one of the most important memories of my childhood. In a single sweep – I owed Ben for the rest of my life; for giving us the opportunity to lift the trophy when all other better debaters than us had failed year after year before that.

One thing that I must mention here is Ben’s reputation as a walking encyclopedia. I know budak koleq of the later years would refer to this or that person as a walking encyclopedia – but if they had met Ben, they would have known what a real walking encyclopedia is. After all this is a guy who began to read when he was 3-4 years old and by Standard 6, I was told he had memorized the Malaysian Constitution. Gedebe (Baharuddin Hassan, the eccentric History teacher) used to tell me how he would never bother to mark Ben’s SPM paper, instead he would rather ask Ben to pick the mark himself.

So when both of us decided to take “sabbatical” break from partisan politics (having spent 5-6 years of our time during the early reformasi and keADILan days) – it was natural that we went back to coach MCKK debating teams, upon request by our ex-teachers.

From 2004 onwards, Ben and I spent a lot of our time with the present debaters. Ben never missed the team’s training or tournaments despite his failing health. He was a much better coach than I was since the team he coached made it to the final each year at the UIA National Debate Championship (in 2004, 2005 and 2006) while mine always crashed at earlier rounds. In 2004, he led the whole contingent of the coaches (8 of us altogether) for a week in Kangar for the PPM – we rented a bungalow and spent days and nights with the boys and teachers.

By the time we finally won UIA championship in April 2007, Ben was too sick to be present. I had tears – not so much because we won, but I had wished for him to be there as it would have meant a lot for him. He made his last visit to MCKK for a debate training in July 2007 – he collapsed while watching the boys doing a mock debate; then recovered and delivered his final speech to the present debaters. He passed away about 6 months later.




Looking back, there were times I felt guilty that I dragged Ben to coach the boys when I knew he was not fit physically. Yet I did the boys a great favour that they had the privilege to know him and drew inspiration from him, the way I was. In the final analysis, I want to believe that both Ben and I did not have regret for the last 4 years we spent coaching the MCKK debating teams.

I am sure that the present and future MCKK debating teams will always remember the Debating Master who single-handedly transformed our fortune and set in motion the discipline and tradition that defines MCKK debaters for many years to come.

PART III

“.. long ago I shot my bow, Where it fell I didn’t know, Much later in a huge great oak, I picked it up still unbroke..”

- letter from Abingdon, 16 April 1992

Ben was always a man in hurry, knowing that his health would be a limitation in the future. In his many correspondences to me when I was a junior, he would share his frustration of the unfairness of the world, of the resolve that we must have to do the right thing in life, of the burden to lead. He was very concerned about having people who would continue his “fight” for setting things right – whatever I understood that to be then.

Much of my worldview in MCKK during my formative years was influenced by Ben’s idea of “fighting for a just cause”. This romanticism later on plunged us into other things; which were to have a profound effect on the direction of his life.

My decision to shun prefectship against everyone’s expectation and chose the KPKM path was rooted from our shared belief that leadership is partly a question of legitimacy. An appointed prefect can never have the same legitimacy compared to an elected Union’s EXCO.

He encouraged me to explore the unthinkable in MCKK. By mid of Form 4 – as an anti-establishment KPKM EXCO poised to play a bigger role when I was in Form 5 – our discussion on what I should do when I was in Form 5 grew more intense in our correspondence. I bounced a lot of ideas on what I thought at the time the necessity to undo the “power structure” in MCKK dominated by the Prefects Board - he always gave feedback and advices on the need to be magnanimous and considerate when dealing with opponents.

I received an ESSO scholarship to USA before I sat for my SPM; however I went on to take PETRONAS’ scholarship solely because I wanted to join Ben in the UK. By that time, Ben was already in Cambridge reading History and Law.

We always discussed the “adventures” of doing something different for the good of the people; so when eventually he founded UKEC (a coalition of Malaysian students associations in the UK) I got very excited. Through UKEC we hoped we could change the landscape of student activism in the UK – from one that was partisan and a mere vehicle of the political masters in Malaysia (e.g. Kelab UMNO, Kelab MIC, Hizbi) – to one that promoted intellectualism, openness and the spirit of volunteerism.

Ben achieved with UKEC in two years what other student leaders before his time could not achieve for a decade. He alleviated the voice of students at the national arena so much so that ministers began to court UKEC (and directly him). It was very human to be impressed with Ben’s talent and ability, so before long he was very much the darling of the establishment (long before one KJ – not the genuine KJ from Tumpat – splashed the headlines). By 1996 – UKEC counted among its Honorary Members the Prime Minister, the Deputy Prime Minister, scores of ministers, intellects and corporate leaders.

Consequently, Ben found himself in Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim’s circles when he came back from Cambridge. In the early days, he sometimes got very frustrated with the manners things were done in our society; when sometimes the most basic issue of fairness was easily put aside. He feared the direction the society was taking – much of his fear back then in one way or another manifested itself later on; especially on the part where “one day we shall be governed by our inferiors”.

He used to write a lot and telephoned me (I was in Leeds at the time) to share his frustration; nevertheless he trudged along serving IKD (Institut Kajian Dasar).

Then came the economic crisis and 1998; which was to change his path completely. While I struggled as UKEC Chairman in the UK to calm the students community due to various rumours of a possible recall by the government; Ben lobbied in Malaysia for the government not to over-react. We collaborated with MBM and PKPIM to put forward a common voice in dealing with students’ reaction to the economic crisis to resist suggestions that overseas scholars were relocated locally (among other issues championed); made possible through the MCKK connection (MBM President was Datuk Saifuddin Abdullah, Class of 78 while PKPIM General Secretary was Ahmad Shabrimi Sidek, Class of 91). The collaboration eventually led to a lasting common ground between local and overseas Malaysian students and propelled us to the heydays of reformasi in 1998.

By 1998, the political landscape changed so much. Ben and our circles had various discussions on how to navigate but we always ended up at the same point when it came to the most appropriate response – speak our mind without fear or favour. Things snowballed and by 2 September 1998, Ben chose the irreversible.

With the benefit of hindsight, he could have chosen the easy way out. Somehow I feel human beings will always find good reasons to justify the decisions they make – so if Ben had wanted to ignore his conscience; he could have opted to go with the establishment that abandoned Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim. He could have seized the vacuum left and emerged as the frontrunner among the young faces in UMNO eventually, given his unrivalled intellect, charisma and oratory skills.

Yet he was never interested in power for himself, only in power as a tool to do the right thing and to effect changes. When power by itself is in conflict with the greater purpose for which the power is supposed to be exercised; he chose to abandon the prospect for power. He chose reformasi and conscience.

Ben spent his years after 1998 on a rollercoaster of adventure – the reformasi type of adventure. Our objective as concerned activists and collegians was to keep the Anwar Ibrahim story alive – in our own small ways, together with Raja Petra, Q (Class of 95) and a few others – we were among the motley crew of people who manned the last frontier inaccessible by the reach of power of the ruling regime: internet through various reformasi websites. Ben also contributed a lot to the overseas campaign to keep Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim in the limelight; given his many contacts abroad.


Eventually he did return to Malaysia and was one of the early pioneers of Pemuda keADILan, until his last posts in the party as a member of the Supreme Council (MPT) and Youth Secretary. In 2003, Ben and I decided to take a “sabbatical” leave from all party posts and went on our separate ways (as far as politics and activism was concerned). He remained very close to the opposition political pulse and frequented Kota Bharu in advisory roles on economic matters until his health deteriorated.

There were many times that I looked at Ben in melancholy especially in his final months. He was content with spending time with his little niece or entertaining some of the present debaters – what a stark difference to what could have been; for someone with gifts like his. Many times I wished that he had not chosen the path he took in 1998; so that he would be at a place where I thought he deserved. I grew restless sometimes that the society idolized certain personalities who were no match to Ben’s intellect and charisma; because the society never had the opportunity to know him in the first place. On a number of occasions, I wished that Ben had shown some sign of remorse that he had forfeited the promise of influence, power and popularity – in exchange for conscience and peace.

Ben that I know however never had a single regret of the path he had taken. Till his dying breath, never once I heard he expressed regret – his concern was always that the interest of the people and country must come over and above everyone else’s; and this he expressed with sheer eloquence in a meeting with YTM Tengku Tan Sri Razaleigh Hamzah (perhaps his last political meeting) in October 2007.

With the passing of Ben, I lost a person I regard as the best intellect and the most charismatic leader of my generation – and many who have had encounters with Ben from near or far would have agreed with me.

One person was constantly on my mind as the phone kept ringing and TV channels were flipped from one another on the night of 8 March. He was not around to witness the coming of age of fellow Malaysians – a dream that he pursued relentlessly throughout his relatively short life. Before I slept that morning, I reassured myself that though many will not remember his contribution that made 8 March 2008 possible; at least those who had worked with him will know that the choices he made had not been in vain.

PART IV

“Time passes by, Raf, and may soon overtake us. But the love is constant and only goes stronger. Even when I am gone, I will watch over you as full of pride at you as I have always been. But then you know I have always, and will always, love you above all else..”

- SMS 24 October 2007

Most articles written on Ben revolve around his intellectual and oratory prowess. I would have understood it since Ben was always a larger than life figure who left a lasting impression on people. He was truly a shooting star – most did not have much opportunity to know him better, but they will always remember the witty genius they once met.

In that perspective, I can consider myself extremely blessed to be so close to him personally since 1990. Our relationship evolved from one of a senior-junior to a mentor-apprentice to partners in crime and finally to brothers.

Initially our relationship always revolved around “work”. In MCKK – it was always about winning PPM, restructuring the “order of the day” or succession planning, then in UKEC it was always about pushing for more moderate voice with reasons beyond racial and religious lines to the point that in 1997, he once wrote to me that sometimes in the future we (he and I) should spend time to catch up on personal matters and not just work.

But of all so many virtues that Allah has blessed him with – Ben’s greatest asset was his kindness. He had a kind heart that on many occasions he never thought twice to take from his pocket and give it to others; and he never gloat about it.

He started a charity project called Kalsom with other friends in the UK to provide guidance and assistance to excellent students from rural areas in 1994. The project had been continuous since then and each year hundreds of Form 4 students from all over the country benefited. Some of these students have long started working; some of them benefited financially from Ben’s assistance during their years in university.

Fazurin (another close friend to Ben and a fellow debater) and I had always agreed that Ben “suffered” from superiority complex. Given his intellect, in public he was a larger than life character; impressing and dazzling people to the point that he could appear remote sometimes. Yet he was a gentle and considerate person in private – a trait that perhaps many did not have the opportunity to witness.

While growing up, many of us went through ups and downs; myself included. Luckily Ben was always around and would support me in any means necessary. Once when I was going through a rough patch as a young accountant struggling to qualify for my CA in London – after a messy breakdown in relationship and barely able to pay my bills with my meager pay – Ben flew all the way from Singapore just to give moral support (and took me out for dinner etc. to cheer me up) and paid my bills until I could get back on my feet. He never once mentioned about the money he paid for my rent and bills during those days in London.

And I could not be the only one whose life he had touched. There were many others; because unlike many of us – he invested in people. He believed in potential and in people’s ability to continue the good work that he had done. Somehow he always knew that he would not live long; so his energy was spent considerably in influencing and touching the lives of others whom he hoped one day could accomplish things he did not have the time to do.

Looking back, he should be proud. There are some Malay Cambridge graduates who would not have been in Cambridge without his help. He left behind a band of junior debaters in MCKK who went on to represent Malaysia (among others) and accomplished many things none of us was able to do. The UKEC as an organization produced many outstanding professionals (having benefited from the training that UKEC provided as a platform) whose contribution to the nation will continue to grow in the future. He worked tirelessly for the cause to release Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim and he held the fort for Pemuda Keadilan (together with other activists) in the face of onslaught from the opponents; so that the people after him could bring the party where it is today.

I wish many of the successful Malays would have had a passion for investing in people like him. I was partly motivated by him to start a string of projects with MCKK with the broad objective of moulding exceptional talents among our students. We follow these talented students all the way through university and into their first job. This is our only way of saying thanks to Ben – by making sure we touch many other people’s life the way he had touched ours.

I only have one regret with Ben – that I never reciprocate his time and efforts for me, as I was too busy pursuing my own things. After we took the “sabbatical” leave from partisan politics, we went separate ways. I concentrated on my duty as a corporate slave and part time MCKK coach, he was with his stuff. Along the way his health deteriorated and he kept it from me (and I was never bothered to check up on him regularly). We still talked on the phone once in a while, but the frequency got less and less over time.

After PPM 2007, I wanted to see him just to vent my frustration with the way things were – as I was frustrated with the system, MCKK and even the team. It was only then that I knew he had just been out of the ICU. He had always been in and out of hospital and I visited him once in a while, but that was the first time he was discharged from an ICU.

I remember that day – despite his difficulty and pain, he spent some time cheering me up and going through all the jokes and experiences that we went through in our many adventures, as if reflecting. It was then that I knew that his time was short.

I was glad that I had the opportunity to make it up somehow to him over the next few months – that I spent more time with him after work; mostly to cheer him up. But things deteriorated very quickly and by end of December 2007 – doctors felt that nothing much could be done for him.


In his last few weeks, he stopped talking. I would like to think that it was his resignation that he would go away and was reflecting; though sometimes I could not help but wonder whether he was angry. On 17 January 2008 – his last birthday – I brought him a card around midnight as we (the family and I) were not sure whether it was a good idea; but we thought it was worth trying to cheer him up. He did not read that night and the torrential tears that I had when he was indifferent to the card was the worst so far; as I desperately needed to believe that I had not let him down and he was not angry.

The next day his sister called me to tell me that he read the card twice and I cannot describe how happy I was. I thought that I could make a difference in assisting him to fight his illnesses, so I started writing a letter in the manner he used to write so many letters to me. I wanted to leave a letter each day to him to encourage and motivate him; to remind him of what a wonderful friendship the last 17 years had been.

I never managed to pass the first letter to him – by Saturday his health deteriorated so much that it became clear that his time would be in a matter of days. He passed away one week after his birthday and the only people around were his mother, sister, grandmother and Ezam Mohd Nor. Rizal (who had been looking after him all these years), Dany (fellow debater from Class of 90 and the closest to him from Class of 90) and myself were not around; we were at work.

The last meaningful thing that I said to him was through the birthday card, part of which was as follows (from whatever I could recall):

“.. I am sorry for all the years of neglect, for all the years of taking you for granted..
..You are the only person I ever look up to and I simply cannot contemplate life without you yet…
.. Once you wrote to me that when there was only one set of footsteps on the beach; that was because God carried the man through – so will He with you…
… As you always told me – “this too shall pass”…
… for whatever it is worth, Happy Birthday Abang…”

Ben left behind too big a vacuum that it is irreplaceable. Yet many will remember him for the kindness, the inspiration, the lessons, the assistance and the privilege of knowing him in the first place. Rest Ben, Insya Allah our prayers will never leave you alone.

Adlan Benan Omar, Mohd Shah House (Class of 90) read History and Law in Cambridge. He was an investment banker by career and historian by passion. Rafizi Ramli, Sulaiman House (Class of 94) was the Union president and Carey Award winner in 1994. He was trained as an engineer and is currently an accountant by practice.