Thursday, January 17, 2008

17 January 2008

It's Ben's birthday today. He is 35 years old.

He has stopped talking since last week. I too stopped talking when I am around - all the "tricks" that got me so close to him all these years have failed. I don't know what goes through in his mind, he just stares blankly. Last 2 days he turned his face away from me.

Happy birthday Ben. I would have bought you a cake. But maybe it's too late. Though I did send you cards before, I never bought you cakes. I should have bought you cakes.

And here I am not knowing how the hell am I going to give you the card tonight - whether it'll be insensitive, whether it will make it more painful for you.

I have many wishes unfulfilled and many grudges with the world. I would have forfeited all my grudges if only you get back to who you were, even who you were 2 weeks ago. Talk Ben, talk to me.

Anyway Happy Birthday Abang!


  1. Anonymous5:44 PM

    Dear Rough

    I don't know what is in your mind too. But I know you mean a lot to Ben and he always likes you; maybe he likes you the most.

    Don't be sad, it is a journey he has to go through. You have to be there for him.

    And take care too. Each time I saw you, you rarely smile nowadays. You have always been very bubbly.


  2. Even though I don't know what's wrong with Benan, I hope and pray that he'll get better soon insya-Allah. Wish I can be in M'sia and visit him myself, instead of looking and googling for bits of news from blogs (although I am thankful that some bloggers post up news about him). I wish him and you well.

  3. Anonymous4:41 PM

    Innalillah wainnalillahi rajiun. I heard that he passed away ard 4 pm today. May his soul rest in peace and ditempatkan di kalangan roh roh yang dirahmatiNya.


  4. Anonymous8:00 PM

    Innalillah wainnalillahi rajiun....

  5. innalillahi wainna ilaihirajiun... al-Fatihah..