Saturday, October 11, 2008

Allahyarham Shahrol Nizam Yusoff: Part III

It was very surreal to be back in Ho Chi Minh City (HCMC) one week after Raya, staying at the same hotel and almost the same room. As I entered the hotel room, it really reminded me of the late Shahrol Nizam Yusoff (Class of 93).

Almost one year ago, I received the news of his untimely death when I was in HCMC, almost one week after Raya too.

During last year’s Raya, I sent a lot of SMS to the people from MCKK who were close to me, especially when I felt we had drifted apart. I sent one such SMS to one of Shahrol’s batchmate from Class of 93:

“Oit XXXXX i know we went thru rough patches lately. 4 whatever it was worth I always think how u r masa raya2 ni n I nvr 4 once 4get what u hv done 4 me n d kids. Went thru some old pix of d db8ers when it was a lot happier – n I thot I owe u dis sms”

Unfortunately, for whatever reasons (mostly taking him for granted all along because you always thought he would be around for you forever) I didn’t even reply Shahrol’s raya SMS last year.

The next SMS I received from his handphone was when I was in HCMC:

“Raf, shahrol dah tak ada. Dia meninggal pkl 6 pg”
7:38 22-Oct-07

There was a series of SMS as it began to dawn that the unthinkable had happened:

“Ko buat joke ke apa? Oit joke jgn la joke mcm ni.”

“Aku dpt sms ni frm shahrol no. Aku call tp x dpt. Cn u check - Raf, shahrol dah tak ada. Dia meninggal pkl 6 pg”

“I feel that I ll never know how to feel ur feeling coz I m not in ur shoes. But, be strong his soul will be remained in a better place up there”

“Abg XXX jgn seedy sgt.. Walaupon sy x knl allahyarham, tp sy phm perasaan kehilangan sorang tmn tok slamenya.. We are still being given a chance 2 breath on diz earth, so we’ve 2 use it wisely.. We just can pray 4 his goodness there.. Alfatihah”

“B storng abg XXXX. I know it must b very hard on u to lose abg shahrol. All I can say is hav faith in God’s judgment. Allah syg kat dia.. ada hikmah 4 all of us behind dis. insyaAllah..”

“I noe dat abg shahrol n abg ben r very special to u, which is why it must be so hard 4 u. jz hang in dere abg XXXXX..”

“Time passes by, raf, and may soon overtake us. But the love is constant and only goes stronger. Even when I am gone, I will watch over you as full of pride at you as I have always been.”

“Was going thru my intray. Just saw the raya kad from shahrol to me and nasu..”

A death of a loved one, should change us as a person. Shahrol’s passing changed me a lot – the way I look at life, the ambitions I used to have, the urgency on things I did not think were urgent before and many others.

I am sure that each time someone we love leaves us forever, we would make many promises to honour him/her. I too had made many promises to myself – some I managed to keep, some I couldn’t (or was too lazy and got carried away).

I managed to wear the MCKK tie more oftenly after his death (because that was his present to me to compel me to wear since I was initially not keen on MCKK tie), but I haven’t even started compiling all his videos and photos which I wanted to give to his little children, so that they know what a wonderful human being their father was in his life when they grow up.

I reactivated some contacts from the previous life as an activist as how he would have wished (he was whining all the time that I chose to walk away from what I was meant to do in life), yet he would have frowned if he had known that I have had plans to walk away from some other things (yet again).

But such is life – it’s a mixture of stories and baggage that we carry with us. The older we are, the more baggage we have. Yet the baggage can sometimes be a blessing in disguise – as it will always remind us of the place we have been and the people we were.

So, as much as Hari Raya most probably will continue to remind me of all the promises to Shahrol that I have not kept – at least that “baggage” will ensure I will never forget him.

Good luck Shahrol, I hope other people remember you as much as I do. We pray that you will be blessed all the time with His bounties, for the kindness you had extended throughout your life.

Allahyarham Shahrol Nizam Yusoff passed away on 22 October 2007 at the age of 31. He left behind a widow, 3 girls and a boy who was born 2 weeks after he passed away. He was a librarian, a debater, used to play basketball in his junior years, was in Dorm 19 West Wing and a Sulaiman House debater in his junior and senior years. Received a scholarship from PETRONAS to do A-Level at Hurstpierpoint College, UK before reading Accountancy at Lancaster University.

He was very active in MCOBA as one of Ballgreave Ballers and served in CCD Committee. He continued to coach MCKK’s debaters until his untimely death.


  1. One of my close friends, among the best actually, passed away in 2004. We met in 1995 and were best friends until he died. His death, changed my life, my views and my objectives - totally reversed. May Allah guide us to His path! Itulah rahmat kematian seorang teman baik - InshaAllah... :`( - Alfatihah - allahyarham Mahrizal Asaari - skrang ni pun aku dah sebak ingatkan kebaikan dirinya pada aku!!!

  2. Anonymous8:01 PM

    :`( ni emoticons untuk menangis ke?

  3. Anonymous4:30 PM

    Ahmad Shahrol from my Perspective

    Fondly known as Mat or during some occasions as Mat Over (in good sense & nature that we award him with this title), he really excel in what ever his pursuing. I did not get the chance of knowing him during his studies years but whatever time we spend during the two years of friendship with him, it bonded us together.

    During his career life, he works with Malaysian O&G giant, Petronas and was seconded in EPU in the Energy Division. This is where we met through my twin brother, Nazry. We have much great and fun time together. And when we were faced with difficulties, we as a team face these obstacles together.

    Adik! Man Kapak! Remember his commitment for the project in Terengganu. Where he went there with Rozaidi to submit our bidding. The sleepless night when we first initiate to re-start Danish Resources. He will provide the accounting & financial needs, Adik - economics, mine - engineering & Man – the management. Remember the meeting we had in A’s house in Pandan Indah. We are indeed a great team then.

    On a happy note, Adik, Man, Pai, Mat, me & Pak Harry got a chance in a lifetime for a trip to Jakarta together. He controls our expenditure and expenses. He planned from A to Z. From the best flights, to hotels, day to day budgeting, entertainment etc. He was calculative, tedious and precise, which I can say resulting an un-forgettable & worth while trip there.

    When he passed away, I was in Europe for a short period. I remember, Adik call me at 1.00 am (he died at 6.00 am, Malaysian time), when I was fast asleep. Adik talk to me, whispering which sound as if I were dreaming:

    “Bang, Mat dah takde”
    “Mat mana?”
    ”Mat Shahrul, Mat Over”

    I just couldn’t believe my ears and sit up straight staring into empty space. Didn’t I just get a sms from him before my departure, wishing me good luck and all the best! I did replied thanking him and wishing him back.

    And furthermore, before his un-timely death, we were parying for goood news of his interview result in Petronas President office application. We know that he was shortlisted and one of the main contender.

    I did not manage to go to his funeral but happy to know that adik, and friends did visit. I was told that there were many visited him paying their last respect. People from all sorts of life, backgrounds etc. We did in our own little way, do a monetary collection for a tribute to the family to lessen the burden.

    All we can wish now is all the best to his family. And maybe one day, Insyaallah, when his children grown, they know from his closed circle of friends how great their daddy was. I, for one will vouch for that!

    Peace upon you, my brother. Great man leaves a legacy - great friend leaves an everlasting memories!

    A matter of note: Adik, man kapak, pai and other nick name mentioned is in our circle of friend

  4. Anonymous7:41 PM

    takpe, noni kan strong

  5. Anonymous11:22 AM

    sempat lg tu.

  6. walaupun saya tak kenal siapa sdr Shahrol, saya berkongsi kesedihan yang kalian rasakan.

    wamakaru wamakarallah..
    innalillahi wainna illahi roji'un..