Seven Deadly Lists

Ayie (Class of 98) tagged this blog for the list of seven things that is going around the blogs.

As a Form 5 I can still remember him when he was a Form 1 – partly because Prep School was not out of bounds during our time and anyone can go there if they wished, unlike in prior years when Prep School was more guarded than Alcatraz. Contrary to popular belief however, some people who went to Prep School (myself included) went there to sleep at Fazurin’s cubicle or skive classes or buy the nice fried rice that this one Pak Cik sold (it was way to kicap-y for me though), not to have a chat with juniors. As much as I kept my distances from the juniors (but not from their grubs ha ha), I remember Ayie quite well, maybe because he was a bit little in size (physical size, nothing beyond that).

Anyway, since this batch has produced an underground alternative band on one extreme, to a potential jihadist who allegedly had been to Afghanistan for training on one extreme (though I bet he does not speak of this as openly as he did before Sept 11, lest he may find the experience being stripped naked and dumped in a small cell somewhere near Kampung Pasir - which he used to frequent as a student to learn kitab - way too creepy), I have to think hard to represent the batch as colourful as possible.

I shall start with the list that captures our imagination most:

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex
1) Sex
2) Boobs – (E81)
3) Sex
4) Sex
5) S&M – (E73?)
6) Trophy wife that brings power and glory – (E96)
7) Sex – (mostly E46)

7 things I plan to do before I die
1) See another budak koleq as a Prime Minister, and a just one at that
2) Legalise cross dressing (E46)
3) Close American Embassy (E52)
4) Reunite the Kingdom of Pattani with the Malay States, where it belongs
5) Become so stinking rich I die intoxicated from the smell of the notes (E98)
6) Become Headmaster of MCKK and make it a requirement that you must attain a certain level of jambu-ness before you can enrol (E43)
7) Grow my hair back (ha ha ha) (E53, plus E3 ha ha)
7.5) Visit Aslam and satisfy my ego that he will allow me in and not threw me out of the house the way he did Jures ha ha (well not before I die laa, certainly before I am 30)

7 things I cannot do
1) Cuddle a cat, I’ll faint when cats come near me (E71)
2) Suck up to boss
3) Main jambu with present boys when you have left the school for 10 years and there are 1001 ways to satisfy your emotional and sexual needs, legally or illegally
4) Go back to Old Boys Weekend, wear a grin and enrol for MCOBA membership (ha ha at least not yet)
5) Lose weight (E43, E27, E95 dan kawan-kawan)
6) Drive carefully, follow the rules and not to make a hazardous u-turn in the middle of the road without causing a potential road accident in the living daylight (E37)
7) Grow taller (well since I was in F1 actually – E6)

7 things I can do
1) Spend one whole day in office for 18 hours, looked extremely stressed out but did not do a single work, having been online all the time
2) Eat one whole periuk of nasi and one whole piece of fried chicken at one go (E11)
3) Sell scented oil from my chin as minyak dagu (E19)
4) Have 20 girlfriends in 5 years, spend thousands of ringgit and build a niche as a failed Casanova and yet remained unmarried till this very day (E13)
5) Spam everyone’s mailbox with my 3 MB file of Powerpoint presentation with blue blackground and pictures of me visiting various places on Earth that slide in when you press a key, without ever learning how to make a better presentation or use Fotopages! (E53)
6) Go out for dinner and come back just in time for my 11 pm curfew, despite my tender age of 28 (E68)
7) Not shaved for ages and still considered a celebrity and have fans screaming for me (E91)

7 celebrity crushes

(Depending on whether these crushes took place in MCKK or post MCKK)

In MCKK:
1) Tut tut
2) Tut tut
3) Yatex (kira celebrity laaa ni….)
4) Tut tut
5) Sherry (E46)
6) Tut tut
7) Sheila Majid (E46 – dia ni je yang tegang dari dulu sampai sekarang…)

Post MCKK:
1) Homer Simpson
2) Julia Roberts
3) Barbara Streisand (E81 – dia suka hidung besar2 ni)
4) Winona Ryder
5) Princess Diana and Queen Mother (E53)
6) Sherry (E46 – old flame)
7) Lulu the Big-boobed model from Eurothrash who died because her watermelon-sized boob was way too big for her (E98)

7 often repeated words
1) So how…. (E53)
2) Tu laa pasal…. (E46)
3) “Kama tu lawa laaa….” (E93)
4) Hi haw hi haw hi haw… (bila dia gelak laaa… E98)
5) Insurans (E103)
6) Aku yang jambu pun dia tak tegur… (E81)
7) Projek berjuta juta (E96)

ps: Had a lengthy chat online with Fazurin (despite the fact we live in the same area) on our plans for the Back to School Reunion on 3rd December. I am considering seriously the proposition to wear shorts (as in F1 uniform) since Fadhil dared me to the challenge, in exchange for a dinner of my choice.

pps: In case you want to know to whom the list relates to, check here