Friday, December 30, 2005

PMR Results -> Who Is Reza -> Projek Membantu Koleq -> Gambo Masa SRP -> Decadent BRU

More e-mails were generated in the last one week compared to the last 6 months altogether. The amount of bandwidth taken by these e-mails could have cost companies tones of money, and if IT personnel were around they could have detected an unusually high traffic of e-mails going to and fro.

Fortunately they were not around, as most other people around this time of the year. It’s holiday season every where, and I am not only talking about Europe or USA – offices in Malaysia were also so empty. So what did we do? We declared our unofficial holidays and jammed the days with e-mails.

The chain of e-mails started with the PMR results announcement, which proved to be a disaster for MCKK. To put things in perspective, a day school Sekolah Agama in Penang managed to produce 59 9As candidates, with more than 60s who scored 8As. And koleq – which supposedly group the top 100 brains at UPSR level, managed to produce a lack-lustre 56 8As.

They were a series of “soul searching”, what went wrong etc. (which had become an annual event). Some of the top suggestions of what went wrong:

Badut:
Aku rasakan koleq lately nie too focus on academic........what i meant is siang malam prep.....weekend prep......tak da masa utk this kids to relax...nielah jadinya...too much pressure to the students...remember they are just kids.......dulu kita sabtu ahad still boleh keluar town.......

Chibiok:
One of the reason koleq drop kow kow this year .... Jambu's population are decreasing tremendously, maybe sebab budak sekarang nie at young age dah start ada jerawat kot .... Not like Kama ...

Idzam Noor:
What happen? Kurang bersukan tapi result turun...

Otak tak cergas agaknya sebab tak cukup oksigen... camane nak terima ilmu dalam kelas.


Gadap:
Mungkin sebab tak de orang buat order nasi malam-malam, so bebudak skrg ni tak leh study malam. (Footnote 1)

But before that, the discussion digressed to a hot topic – “Who Is Reza”. Even people like Zahadin who has been generally silent in e-mail discussions sent two e-mails, enquiring the identity of one “Reza”. (Footnote 2)

The second guessing of “Who Is Reza” went all the way to the memories of those who left us in the early Prep School days.

Fadli:
Sorry to ask stupid question.. Siapa Reza Baharin ? Ritz ke ?

Zahadin:
haah.. aku pun nak tahu sapa Reza Baharin..
Ritz = Rizal

Reza = ??

he he..


Fadli:
ROugh,
since kau penjaga list batch dalam emailing list ni, silalah jawab siapakah gerangan Reza Baharin ?
aku sure bukan budak masuk and keluar F1 kan ?
Itu RAMZUZAMAN
jawab jangan tak jawab.


Pyan:
how about ali reza? the REAL E68 (sesapa rasa dia clone E68 be cool ok ;) who never turn up for registration on Jan 6 1990?
nama bapak dia bahrin ke? ke org lain?


Fadli:
Actually Piyan aku tengah nak duk ingat nama dia la..E68 tu..
aku tau dia bedmate Joe kan ?
nasib baik memory kau bagus..

ok so Reza Baharin = Ali Reza = Ramzuzaman = ??
siapa lagi nama Reza in our batch ?..tak de kan ?


Chibiok:
i think badut the best person to answer all this Reza issues here ... kan brother dia nama Reza ....tul tak badut

Chibiok:
guys,

reza tu sebenarnya nama samaran Rough .... saja nak mengaburi pihak lawan ...


Syam:
How about reza hatta?

Zaaba did clarify his identity, but that did not stop the digressing.

Zaaba (Class of 2000):
Subject hangat! Maaf jika menganggu ketenteraman anda semua lol.

I'd be most of your juniors by many many years. I was F5 in Koleq in 2000 where I was an anjing in the jambu farm popularly known as Prep School. I am not the youngest in Raf's list of emailed persons though as I spotted somebody who is in the class of 2003.

And its Reza bin Baharin and I bear no relation to Ali Reza of 1998 or Reza Rokman 1997. There is however a Mohd Reza Mohd Arif @ Kebau in my batch. If you do hear Raf make reference to a "Zaaba" that'll be me as well.


Chamat:
Dua2 pun salah - the original E68 was Remi Iskandar, who never came. Ali Reza was E90 before Ajak came in (Ajak is the current E90 kan)?

Fadli:
CHamat ???
kau simpan inventory list ke nama nama budak F1 yang tak 'melaporkan' diri ? how come u remember all these ?..syabas.

ada lagi orang nak recall nama budak budak F1 yang tak masuk langsung ? aku tau Badut punya nombor dobi ganti someone yang tak jadi masuk.. betul tak badut ? sebab tu kau tiba tiba sesat Rumah Ahmad sedangkan orang rumah ahmad kena ikut turutan:
E1 , E5 , E9 dan setiap 4 angka yang berikutnya.

sekian dimaklumkan.


Mpro:
Wah... Ali Reza masuk batch 9498....

Rough:
Aku rasa Fadli, as AJK Batch baru, dah tutup laaa topic ni Mpro.

Ali Reza ni curi umur kot, macam orang Kelantan zaman 50s & 60s dulu...


Bobo:
macam WAI dulu ker? aku dengar die tertukar birth cert adik die (meaning that patut2nye die 8993)

Pyan:
betul la chamat.. Ali reza sempat masuk french class kita dgn cikgu cina pompuan tua tu...apa nama ntah.. dia tu e90. Yang tak nampak muka, remi iskandar (no dobi yang ditagih badut....e68.)

Rahimi:
Pyan,

Remi Iskandar tue sekarang dah jadi best pren aku sebab sesama kat USM dulu.....Siap tinggal rumah sewa sekali tue..........


Gadap:
Ngko pernah adakan hubungan sejenis dengan Remi Iskandar tu tak?

Aiwa:
Weh.. jangan la kutuk2 orang kelantan.

Reza tu senior kita . Nama sebenar dia Razali Romeli. Abang angkat Raf.
WAI = Pyapong Pu On.

Jom la kita buat 9094 weekend. Aku nak main volleyball ngan Fadli. Tapi jangan main kat gelanggang simen. Aku takut kalau aku lompat and spike nanti, rosak simen Volleyball. Susah pulak Radin (kontraktor kelas A) nak baiki balik. Main beach volleyball pun ok gak. Boleh la Raf pakai G String. hehehe...


Fadli:
ku tak sangka selama ni Aiwa ingin tengok Rough pakai G-string. aku risau

After a while, Syam suggested that the discussion concentrated on ways to assist koleq in the future (which managed to stop the discussion from going into G-string, unlike the failed Fadli’s proclaimation earlier that the annual PMR result discussion was closed, exercising his self-proclaimed role as a self-elected AJK Batch).

Yet again, the discussion digressed (it’s hard to be in a dysfunctional batch, we could not even stick to a topic for longer than 3 e-mails).

Gadap:
Apa kata kita anjur program untuk bebudak koleq yang nak ambik SPM atau PMR????? Kita kan ramai pelajar bijak macam Fadli, Muta , Rough dll..... Mungkin 4 hari punya program pun dah ok kot.Tadi aku baru contact seorang oldboy dan dia sanggup bagi 'sponsor' untuk apa-apa program yang kita nak buat. Jumlah yang dia nak bagi tu boleh dikatakan 'unlimited'.Tapi sorang kena draf modul/kertas kerja + budget untuk tujuan nih......aku rsa Epit/Wong mesti pakar bab ni.So amacam semer.... apa kata kita gempur Kuala Kangsar ramai ramai..Bila lagi nak tabur kebijaksaan dan kepakaran kita kat generasi koleq yang baru nih...

Fadli:
HANG ON HANG ON GAPAPPP....

aku ok saje tapi ingat lagi ke kita Add Maths / Physics / CHemistry nak ajar bebudak tu ? sebagai AJK batch, berikut cadangan aku budak budak yang boleh bagi sikit tunjuk ajar:

Subject:
Bahasa Melayu - Rough Romeli
Bahasa Inggeris - Chamat Abdulah & Fazurin Jamaluddin
Add Maths - Fly Zakaria + Saiful Dzulfitri ( ini anak kesayangan Cikgu Mail ni...)
Chemistry - Tukid Arif
Pendidikan Agama Islam - Gadap Hussein
Prinsip Akaun - Badut Rashdi
Physics - Alan Majid
Modern Maths - Mpro Adzhar
Biology - Mutanizam Abdul Mubin
Sejarah - ini payah sikit sebab Gedebe dah sumpah batch kita...so siapa yang dapat A1 tu sila silalahhh..
Seni Perusahaan - Sumali Basuri
Pendidikan Seni / Lukis melukis / bu - Pica Othman
Kira kira akaun nak buat project - Epit Hasin & Wong Mahmud
Logistics - Chibix Rashidi & Abun Azizi
Maskot - Fadli Ramli & Aiwa Nor ( ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo )...

ada bantahan ?


Abon:
Slamba letak aku ngan chibix aje mascot........... rough and empro sambil mengajer still boleh jadi mascot

Chamat:
Baca pun x betul - harus diajar dgn budak2 koleq yg bakal diajar ke? kau bukan maskot, kau ajar logistics (if u can teach one this la kan, idea bernas fadli), fadli's suggesting dia dan aiwa jadi mascot

Chibiok:
Abon kau ni dah bangun ke belum or still having the fantasy about last nite.... Bukan kita la mascot tuuuu

KNO:
aku rasa mpro pakar art nih, bukan dia best student art masa srp 92 ker?

or aku yang silap.......


Fadli:
maskot tak leh ramai ramai... definasi maskot itu sendiri has to be unique and sikit..
so how ?
oklah abun.. aku tarik diri..kau jadi maskot dengan aiwa ok ?


Chamat:
Kenapa Bio Muta dan bukan Jita? Bukan based on his results he's qualified to be a doctor but he opted for engineering instead? Org2 lain x bleh bagi tunjuk ajar ke?

Fadli:
CHAMAT KAU MEMANG PINTAR !!!!! How can I have forgotten such a story ?

aku lupa akan kisah itu..

ok for the benefit of the other people in this mailing list, untuk pengetahuan kalian, masa kitorang Form 5 dulu and kena pilih apa subject nak buat for university,

Jita cakap lebih kurang macam nilah bunyinya " I want to do engineering but BASED ON MY RESULTS, i am qualified to be a doctor ".. so korang buatlah penakulan mantik sendiri sebab banyak sangat kesimpulan yang boleh dibuat..

so Jita, kau ajarlah Bio kalau kau rasa kau still terra... Madad jauh sangat....


Fly:
In my opinion, Fadli secara solo pun boleh cover semua... Nak ajar hose riding pun boleh dah... Tak termasuk facial treatment classes... Kau still buat facial treatment b4 each big day ker Fadli? Or iz it every day now eh?

Fadli:
oklah FLy

kalau kau insist aku ajar semua boleh..
tapi aku tak nak takbur..
so jadi maskot cukuplaaaaa...
barulah kau bersuara iz it ?


Syam:
Aku haram tak paham nak bagi consultation macam mana logistics ni? Maybe how to angkut nasi order malam2? Tapi kalau nak ajar yg ni, Aiwa, Wawan and mister omegatrend (azizudin) le yg paling layak....

Fadli:
KESIAN ABUN KENA BANTAI sebab baca email aku tak betul..
tak pe abun, kalau kau nak jadi maskot, aku undur diri...

tapi aku nak pegang Pelikat ( betulke ejaan ni ? ) korang ingat masa hari Keputeraan Sultan Perak , Band kena main berarak satu Pekan, budak F2 kena pegang pelikat "KOLEJ MELAYU".

is that the right word ?..PELIKAT ?


Chamat:
It's placard fadli. I'll need to include you in my 'class'. Unless la kau memang nak pegang pelikat kan hehe, sapa punya?

Fadli:
ok chamat, count me in the english class..

rupanya PLACARD is it ???
ni gang gang "Court Rangle" yang ghupa ghupany "Quadrangle" is it ?
so how ?
patutlah 1119 aku C3.


Fazurin:
bantahan aku: pend agama islam should go to orang orang yang dapat c3 ke bawah sahaja sebab makin besar angka maksudnya makin tinggi maqam orang itu, so I humbly suggest RAFIZI ROMELI dan/atau MADAD ABDUL RAHMAN to take care of the pendidikan agama islam subject.

Rough:
Having a field day ye.....
Aku dengan ini volunteer untuk ajar pendidikan islam.... aku sure budak2 semua zuhud macam aku dalam exam and dapat C & D semua....


Auzir:
Jangan kau "mengajar" certain people dalam bilik BRU dah le.

The next day (after tones of e-mail which didn’t quite get the consensus of what we wanted to do regarding our contribution to koleq), KNO sent the following photo taken in 1992 after our SRP, which snowballed into another round of chain e-mails.



KNO:
ni aku attachkan gambar masa kat koleq, gambar masa tgh watch emende ntah kat bilik sebelah surau kat prep school. aku tak sure gambar tu masa form 2 or form 3, yang for sure bukan form 1 coz we're not wearing short putih. anybody can confirm?

Fadli:
KNO,
wah lau !!...gambar mana kau dapat tu ?

I cant remember what that picture relates to..

3PK 1 - tak mungking kerana Cik Wan Mohd Khairi, Hamizie & Jita were SPU and not PK...also Che Tam was PK 2 not PK 1
Reading class Set A - tak mungking sebab aku rasa Hamizie Hamidon bukan Set A
so what the hell was that pic relating to ?


Rahimi:
Such a nostalgic pic....Actually tue masa kita semua form three....masa
kursus pengurusan jenazah selepas SRP.........................


Abon:
Ye ke........ takan harmizie duduk depan skali. Chetam pun boleh senyum............korang tengok cite lain nie kot....................

KNO:
kursus pengurusan jenazah? kenapa takde ustaz pun heh? power ah memory ko.............. saper punya camera heh? aku tak bawak kamera lagi masa tuh...........

Mattop:
Cuma ingat, lepas SRP, ada trip pergi kilang buat souvenir, lepas tu ada budak2 kita plak pandai2 amik souvenir... then semua yg pergi trip tue kena kumpul kat surau prep school, kena confess sapa yg amik, tapi si 'physcho' plak punya la nak kipas HM, dia suruh ngaku isap rokok skali... hahaha... mangkuk betul...

Fadli:
Mat Top
bila pulak kita pegi trip kilang souvenir ni ?
ni class kau je ke ?
aku tak ingat pun pegi trip apa apa lepas SRP


KNO:
masa tu bukan semua pegi kilang souvenir tuh, ada class yg pegi kat craft centre KK. ada ke yg pegi kilang kicpa tamin heh?

takkan ko tak ingat fadli ooooiiiii......


Rough:
Ehh how come aku tak ingat the surau part?
aku cuma ingat halizah nangis sebab dia yang organise semua tu...


KNO:
aku rasa bukan kat surau la....kat class je............yepppp cikgu haliza ngangis lepas that incident

Fadli:
aku still insist yang after SRP aku tak de pun join mana mana geng pegi lawatan sambil blajar ni..
Kicap Tamim ke souvenir ke haram aku ingat..
unless of course korang ada gambar tu trigger this memory back..


Muta:
Heh.... fadli... ko bkn lepas SRP terus bukak buku blajor add math ke?? Tu yg langsung tak de masa nak menziarah ke mana2 tuh : P

Fadli:
OK LAH OK LAHHH...

aku mengaku lepas SRP aku dengan Kiasunya terus pinjam buku Add Maths budak F5 masa tu and pulun tak ingat dunia.. then lepas 2 minggu suddenly realize yang syllabus KBSM lain...( aku rasa kita punya lagi susah dari Jeril & Sherap punya )..

so maybe sebab tu kut aku tak join lawatan sambil belajar semua tu..
so how ??
berbaloi ke'kiasu'an aku pada masa itu ?


Muta:
If memory serves me right... ada satu lagi group kiasu masa kita F5... bebudak sc 1 yg pi ambik prinsip akaun.... hmmm... entah la... kononnya nak break koleq punya SPM record... 11A1s incl 1119.... mmm... ring any bell???

KNO:
muhahahaha. ko nyer memory mmg power la muta. aku pun dah lupa pasal bebudak sc 1 yang amik akaun dulu. tu belum masuk case bebudak arab amik jepun dan bebudak french amik jepun lagi tu.........will the real bebudak jepun and bebudak arab please stand up!....... :-)

At the same time, there was a discourse on what really happened in BRU in 1994, with the so-called tales of coup de tat (Footnote 3).

Fadli:
Can I see a deja vu of kita pilih someone and then Rough gulingkan the candidate reminiscent of what happened in 1PK1 ? Agaknya sebab tu Badut tak berani ambil the post iz it ???

Fazurin:
Hahahahaha.

Speaking of coup d'etats/deja vus: and also remember the time when Azrin Madin was selected to be Presiden BRU but in the end Raf jugak yang jadi pres? ;) (though from what i understand Raf was quite innocent in this one (hmmm....ye ke?) and that Jures and Gadap - those inexorable powers behind thrones - that were the true masterminds)


Fadli:
Fazurin,
Betul ke Azrin Madin @ Musyek @ Suka baca alam perwira berselindungkan kitab, was selected as BRU PResident ? This one i never knew... Jures & Gadap care to comment ?

Talking about mastermind, teringat aku akan si NALE budak Leman that was self proclaimed as Mastermind Batch 92.. and he became Jures' idol masa kat 3PK1...

btw, apa yang dimastermindkan oleh si Nale tu ?


Fazurin:
musyek baca komik alam perwira berselindungkan kitab? i didn't know that.

re: nale - good question. apa pulak yang dimastermindkan oleh si Nale tu? masa f3 kat big school dulu idok la pulak aku merasa akan ke-mastermind-an dia. maybe dia tu dah terlalu mastermind sampai orang tak nampak apa yang dimastermindkan.

entah-entah this BRU coup d'etat story telah digembar-gemburkan oleh Jures to cement his reputation as a mastermind ala-ala Nale, macam tu?


Jures:
Hahaha. If I'm not mistaken (ingat2 lupa ni), Musyuk was the chosen candidate by the previous BRU. aka batch 93.

But, knowing that by having rough as BRU president, our chance to get the allocated "budget" from the school admin to fund our "activities" will increase tenfold since rough punye PR dengan cikgu cikgi amat bagus sekali.

Hence, kenapa musyuk digulingkan dari senarai calon. HAHAHAHA.


Fazurin:
hmmm...such lofty motivations... ye ke? or is it because korang tau that Raf would be too busy with the 657 other posts that he held that year that you and Gadap would have a freer hand in running BRU? (admit it!)

Wong:
Apa BRU dah buat…??? Apa budget from Admin…???

Fazurin:
Jures dan Gadap - the inexorable powers behind thrones - sila jawab.

Rough:
errr i think jures payah nak jawab, sebab dia sibuk main jambu kat dalam bilik kebal. gadap sibuk ambik order nasi branch pavi.

bru sembahyang tiap2 hari mintak tolong tolak bala (bukan Bala the top jambu)......


Suri:
boleh main jambu dalam bilik kebal meh? kalo aku tau bilik kebal ada multi function, sure aku buat satu kat prep school. boleh charge org2 big school dtg berjambu kat situ. sure aku boleh bataq kfc weekend (nite?)...

korang penah dgr cerita exco bru masuk kfc kuala ikut back door sebab main door dah tutup, sebab dah pukul 1030pm? mungkin fazurin buleh crite. tu pun salah satu job bru jugak tu...


KNO:
perghhhhhh tu dia dah meletup skandal BRU dulu................more please..... muhahahaaaaa

Rough:
macam mana laaa nak buat bilik kebal kat prep school? Bilik kebal tu ada kat surau big school je, sebab dia tak nampak bilik pun (and no mior, it's not the one dekat hargreaves hall where koleq simpan soalan exams..)

lagipun unfortunately budak2 jagaan kau agak laa kurang lawa ha ha ha, market masa tu f3 ha ha. so kalau kau buat pun aku rasa the business tak take off.

ha ha aku pernah ikut fazurin pi kfc back door pukul sebelas sekali, lalu kot rumah wawu. and sekali tu kitorang terserempak ngan budak2 ahmad (kadaque semua kot) baru balik tengok movie kat capitol.

koleq memang lawless in 1994 ha ha ha.


Suri:
kurang lawa? patut la fazurin prgi menjambu kat big school jer.. tinggal kan aku keseorangan kat sana. fazurin!!!! apa kurang nya aku???

kat prep school pun ader la bilik kebal ciptaan aku sendiri. bilik tu tempat aku membantaq balance ice cream yg di serve kat high tea. operation time: mid nite.

yg paling best pegi kfc lepas business hour ni, buleh dpt ration free. antara nya ice cream, zinger burger, ayam etc. aku ada gambo2 bukti ration2 free tu. pas tu ada staff yg agak bunny sket yg selalu supply free ration tu. yg tu, aku tak dak gambo.

memang betul laaa... bru 94 diselubungi skandal2 dlm koleq n luar koleq.


So there you are – one week in the life of a dysfunctional batch of MCKK products. Despite the same recycled jokes and the nonsense, the sense of belonging to a place called MCKK is so strong that even people who rarely write e-mail will, when it comes to a subject related to Malay College.

To the Class of 94, next year marks our 10th year on the internet (the first batch’s website was published by Jures in 1996, and has been maintained continuously in one form or another till this day). Keep the e-mails coming, they will prove priceless thirty years down the line.

Footnote 1

Syam:
Sebenarnya effective sgt ke study malam2 ni...buat bantut je tak cukup tido...pastu ada bnyk activity2 lain pulak tu yg lagi seronok di buat bila dah bgn malam2...bukannya nak study...tak gitu chibiok....

Chibiok:
Bab tu aku no comment, reserve for more serious issue.... Aku study la ... tak caya tanya Fadli and Epit ...dia org tu aku tak sure la buat kat dlm kelambu .... seems like study each other je ...

Footnote 2

The original e-mail on the PMR results was sent by Rough to many other people from the koleq circles, which included Sdr Reza Baharin of the Class of 2000. He responded to the e-mails and inadvertently wrote to the batch’s mailing list.

Zaaba:
Dear all,

IMHO, PMR is a bad measure of a person's true academic potential. As far as I can remember the PMR was an exam to certify that your brain could retain, memorize and regurtitate facts ad nauseum without ever needing to understand the big picture. FYI, a PMR pariah in my batch is now flying planes for MAS in Sabah (I hope he's not transporting RM1mio painting consignments though!).

Lets just hope the batch can buck up and fare much better at SPM level where the doors will really open for them to go places.


Footnote 3

BRU in 1994 was possibly the most “unlike BRU” of all the BRUs in the 90s. Proofs:

1) President BRU actually got C3 for Pendidikan Islam,
2) Some of its highest office bearers actually attended a New Year concert in 1994 instead of conducting the usual weekly usrah,
3) 50% of the F5 Excos spent less than 3 weeks combined in 1994 at surau, preferring to pray in dorms instead,
4) the President wore his trademark shorts and could often be spotted taking his shower in his short during azan for Maghrib;

But the biggest proof of all – you only need to see how they are now to judge the mishap back in 1994. In fact the BRUs from among the F4s staged a protest of the selection of office bearers in 1994, but to no avail.

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