Tuesday, June 08, 2010


1) Plans to sleep early and wake up early to write an economics paper, but got stuck going through the reminders of the people who have passed away.

2) Stumbled a raya card from Arwah Kiwi, a few months before he passed away in 1996. He sounded so jovial and throughout the time he was suffering from tumour, he never did write a single word about it. I wish I had more time to spend with him because in that short years that he was among us, he was really kind.

3) Read and re-read everything I have written and the correspondences I had with Allahyarham Shahrol. It's June and a few months before October each year, I grow restless as I count the number of years that he has left us.

4) Then November comes and I go through another round of restlessness and melancholy, going through everything that is left of Ben still in my possession.

5) Death stalks us. I wonder in the midst of our jokes and laughter whether I would survive 35.

6) We can never be ready when we are called to meet Him, but I hope He shall have mercy on my soul for I am so inadequate.

7) Al-Fatihah and my prayers for all those who had left us untimely (though it was all written long time ago for them, I just wish I had some warnings).


  1. Forrester9:14 AM

    The rest of those who have gone before us cannot steady the unrest of those to follow.

  2. ha ha thanks, death makes me sane once in a while.

  3. not just sane. It's wisdom...

  4. Anonymous10:07 AM

    Al fatihah......