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1) Plans to sleep early and wake up early to write an economics paper, but got stuck going through the reminders of the people who have passed away.

2) Stumbled a raya card from Arwah Kiwi, a few months before he passed away in 1996. He sounded so jovial and throughout the time he was suffering from tumour, he never did write a single word about it. I wish I had more time to spend with him because in that short years that he was among us, he was really kind.

3) Read and re-read everything I have written and the correspondences I had with Allahyarham Shahrol. It's June and a few months before October each year, I grow restless as I count the number of years that he has left us.

4) Then November comes and I go through another round of restlessness and melancholy, going through everything that is left of Ben still in my possession.

5) Death stalks us. I wonder in the midst of our jokes and laughter whether I would survive 35.

6) We can never be ready when we are called to meet Him, but I hope He shall have mercy on my soul for I am so inadequate.

7) Al-Fatihah and my prayers for all those who had left us untimely (though it was all written long time ago for them, I just wish I had some warnings).