PMR Results -> Who Is Reza -> Projek Membantu Koleq -> Gambo Masa SRP -> Decadent BRU

More e-mails were generated in the last one week compared to the last 6 months altogether. The amount of bandwidth taken by these e-mails could have cost companies tones of money, and if IT personnel were around they could have detected an unusually high traffic of e-mails going to and fro.

Fortunately they were not around, as most other people around this time of the year. It’s holiday season every where, and I am not only talking about Europe or USA – offices in Malaysia were also so empty. So what did we do? We declared our unofficial holidays and jammed the days with e-mails.

The chain of e-mails started with the PMR results announcement, which proved to be a disaster for MCKK. To put things in perspective, a day school Sekolah Agama in Penang managed to produce 59 9As candidates, with more than 60s who scored 8As. And koleq – which supposedly group the top 100 brains at UPSR level, managed to produce a lack-lustre 56 8As.

They were a series of “soul searching”, what went wrong etc. (which had become an annual event). Some of the top suggestions of what went wrong:

Badut:
Aku rasakan koleq lately nie too focus on academic........what i meant is siang malam prep.....weekend prep......tak da masa utk this kids to relax...nielah jadinya...too much pressure to the students...remember they are just kids.......dulu kita sabtu ahad still boleh keluar town.......

Chibiok:
One of the reason koleq drop kow kow this year .... Jambu's population are decreasing tremendously, maybe sebab budak sekarang nie at young age dah start ada jerawat kot .... Not like Kama ...

Idzam Noor:
What happen? Kurang bersukan tapi result turun...

Otak tak cergas agaknya sebab tak cukup oksigen... camane nak terima ilmu dalam kelas.

Gadap:
Mungkin sebab tak de orang buat order nasi malam-malam, so bebudak skrg ni tak leh study malam. (Footnote 1)

But before that, the discussion digressed to a hot topic – “Who Is Reza”. Even people like Zahadin who has been generally silent in e-mail discussions sent two e-mails, enquiring the identity of one “Reza”. (Footnote 2)

The second guessing of “Who Is Reza” went all the way to the memories of those who left us in the early Prep School days.

Fadli:
Sorry to ask stupid question.. Siapa Reza Baharin ? Ritz ke ?

Zahadin:
haah.. aku pun nak tahu sapa Reza Baharin..
Ritz = Rizal

Reza = ??

he he..

Fadli:
ROugh,
since kau penjaga list batch dalam emailing list ni, silalah jawab siapakah gerangan Reza Baharin ?
aku sure bukan budak masuk and keluar F1 kan ?
Itu RAMZUZAMAN
jawab jangan tak jawab.

Pyan:
how about ali reza? the REAL E68 (sesapa rasa dia clone E68 be cool ok ;) who never turn up for registration on Jan 6 1990?
nama bapak dia bahrin ke? ke org lain?

Fadli:
Actually Piyan aku tengah nak duk ingat nama dia la..E68 tu..
aku tau dia bedmate Joe kan ?
nasib baik memory kau bagus..

ok so Reza Baharin = Ali Reza = Ramzuzaman = ??
siapa lagi nama Reza in our batch ?..tak de kan ?

Chibiok:
i think badut the best person to answer all this Reza issues here ... kan brother dia nama Reza ....tul tak badut

Chibiok:
guys,

reza tu sebenarnya nama samaran Rough .... saja nak mengaburi pihak lawan ...

Syam:
How about reza hatta?

Zaaba did clarify his identity, but that did not stop the digressing.

Zaaba (Class of 2000):
Subject hangat! Maaf jika menganggu ketenteraman anda semua lol.

I'd be most of your juniors by many many years. I was F5 in Koleq in 2000 where I was an anjing in the jambu farm popularly known as Prep School. I am not the youngest in Raf's list of emailed persons though as I spotted somebody who is in the class of 2003.

And its Reza bin Baharin and I bear no relation to Ali Reza of 1998 or Reza Rokman 1997. There is however a Mohd Reza Mohd Arif @ Kebau in my batch. If you do hear Raf make reference to a "Zaaba" that'll be me as well.

Chamat:
Dua2 pun salah - the original E68 was Remi Iskandar, who never came. Ali Reza was E90 before Ajak came in (Ajak is the current E90 kan)?

Fadli:
CHamat ???
kau simpan inventory list ke nama nama budak F1 yang tak 'melaporkan' diri ? how come u remember all these ?..syabas.

ada lagi orang nak recall nama budak budak F1 yang tak masuk langsung ? aku tau Badut punya nombor dobi ganti someone yang tak jadi masuk.. betul tak badut ? sebab tu kau tiba tiba sesat Rumah Ahmad sedangkan orang rumah ahmad kena ikut turutan:
E1 , E5 , E9 dan setiap 4 angka yang berikutnya.

sekian dimaklumkan.

Mpro:
Wah... Ali Reza masuk batch 9498....

Rough:
Aku rasa Fadli, as AJK Batch baru, dah tutup laaa topic ni Mpro.

Ali Reza ni curi umur kot, macam orang Kelantan zaman 50s & 60s dulu...

Bobo:
macam WAI dulu ker? aku dengar die tertukar birth cert adik die (meaning that patut2nye die 8993)

Pyan:
betul la chamat.. Ali reza sempat masuk french class kita dgn cikgu cina pompuan tua tu...apa nama ntah.. dia tu e90. Yang tak nampak muka, remi iskandar (no dobi yang ditagih badut....e68.)

Rahimi:
Pyan,

Remi Iskandar tue sekarang dah jadi best pren aku sebab sesama kat USM dulu.....Siap tinggal rumah sewa sekali tue..........

Gadap:
Ngko pernah adakan hubungan sejenis dengan Remi Iskandar tu tak?

Aiwa:
Weh.. jangan la kutuk2 orang kelantan.

Reza tu senior kita . Nama sebenar dia Razali Romeli. Abang angkat Raf.
WAI = Pyapong Pu On.

Jom la kita buat 9094 weekend. Aku nak main volleyball ngan Fadli. Tapi jangan main kat gelanggang simen. Aku takut kalau aku lompat and spike nanti, rosak simen Volleyball. Susah pulak Radin (kontraktor kelas A) nak baiki balik. Main beach volleyball pun ok gak. Boleh la Raf pakai G String. hehehe...

Fadli:
ku tak sangka selama ni Aiwa ingin tengok Rough pakai G-string. aku risau

After a while, Syam suggested that the discussion concentrated on ways to assist koleq in the future (which managed to stop the discussion from going into G-string, unlike the failed Fadli’s proclaimation earlier that the annual PMR result discussion was closed, exercising his self-proclaimed role as a self-elected AJK Batch).

Yet again, the discussion digressed (it’s hard to be in a dysfunctional batch, we could not even stick to a topic for longer than 3 e-mails).

Gadap:
Apa kata kita anjur program untuk bebudak koleq yang nak ambik SPM atau PMR????? Kita kan ramai pelajar bijak macam Fadli, Muta , Rough dll..... Mungkin 4 hari punya program pun dah ok kot.Tadi aku baru contact seorang oldboy dan dia sanggup bagi 'sponsor' untuk apa-apa program yang kita nak buat. Jumlah yang dia nak bagi tu boleh dikatakan 'unlimited'.Tapi sorang kena draf modul/kertas kerja + budget untuk tujuan nih......aku rsa Epit/Wong mesti pakar bab ni.So amacam semer.... apa kata kita gempur Kuala Kangsar ramai ramai..Bila lagi nak tabur kebijaksaan dan kepakaran kita kat generasi koleq yang baru nih...

Fadli:
HANG ON HANG ON GAPAPPP....

aku ok saje tapi ingat lagi ke kita Add Maths / Physics / CHemistry nak ajar bebudak tu ? sebagai AJK batch, berikut cadangan aku budak budak yang boleh bagi sikit tunjuk ajar:

Subject:
Bahasa Melayu - Rough Romeli
Bahasa Inggeris - Chamat Abdulah & Fazurin Jamaluddin
Add Maths - Fly Zakaria + Saiful Dzulfitri ( ini anak kesayangan Cikgu Mail ni...)
Chemistry - Tukid Arif
Pendidikan Agama Islam - Gadap Hussein
Prinsip Akaun - Badut Rashdi
Physics - Alan Majid
Modern Maths - Mpro Adzhar
Biology - Mutanizam Abdul Mubin
Sejarah - ini payah sikit sebab Gedebe dah sumpah batch kita...so siapa yang dapat A1 tu sila silalahhh..
Seni Perusahaan - Sumali Basuri
Pendidikan Seni / Lukis melukis / bu - Pica Othman
Kira kira akaun nak buat project - Epit Hasin & Wong Mahmud
Logistics - Chibix Rashidi & Abun Azizi
Maskot - Fadli Ramli & Aiwa Nor ( ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo )...

ada bantahan ?

Abon:
Slamba letak aku ngan chibix aje mascot........... rough and empro sambil mengajer still boleh jadi mascot

Chamat:
Baca pun x betul - harus diajar dgn budak2 koleq yg bakal diajar ke? kau bukan maskot, kau ajar logistics (if u can teach one this la kan, idea bernas fadli), fadli's suggesting dia dan aiwa jadi mascot

Chibiok:
Abon kau ni dah bangun ke belum or still having the fantasy about last nite.... Bukan kita la mascot tuuuu

KNO:
aku rasa mpro pakar art nih, bukan dia best student art masa srp 92 ker?

or aku yang silap.......

Fadli:
maskot tak leh ramai ramai... definasi maskot itu sendiri has to be unique and sikit..
so how ?
oklah abun.. aku tarik diri..kau jadi maskot dengan aiwa ok ?

Chamat:
Kenapa Bio Muta dan bukan Jita? Bukan based on his results he's qualified to be a doctor but he opted for engineering instead? Org2 lain x bleh bagi tunjuk ajar ke?

Fadli:
CHAMAT KAU MEMANG PINTAR !!!!! How can I have forgotten such a story ?

aku lupa akan kisah itu..

ok for the benefit of the other people in this mailing list, untuk pengetahuan kalian, masa kitorang Form 5 dulu and kena pilih apa subject nak buat for university,

Jita cakap lebih kurang macam nilah bunyinya " I want to do engineering but BASED ON MY RESULTS, i am qualified to be a doctor ".. so korang buatlah penakulan mantik sendiri sebab banyak sangat kesimpulan yang boleh dibuat..

so Jita, kau ajarlah Bio kalau kau rasa kau still terra... Madad jauh sangat....

Fly:
In my opinion, Fadli secara solo pun boleh cover semua... Nak ajar hose riding pun boleh dah... Tak termasuk facial treatment classes... Kau still buat facial treatment b4 each big day ker Fadli? Or iz it every day now eh?

Fadli:
oklah FLy

kalau kau insist aku ajar semua boleh..
tapi aku tak nak takbur..
so jadi maskot cukuplaaaaa...
barulah kau bersuara iz it ?

Syam:
Aku haram tak paham nak bagi consultation macam mana logistics ni? Maybe how to angkut nasi order malam2? Tapi kalau nak ajar yg ni, Aiwa, Wawan and mister omegatrend (azizudin) le yg paling layak....

Fadli:
KESIAN ABUN KENA BANTAI sebab baca email aku tak betul..
tak pe abun, kalau kau nak jadi maskot, aku undur diri...

tapi aku nak pegang Pelikat ( betulke ejaan ni ? ) korang ingat masa hari Keputeraan Sultan Perak , Band kena main berarak satu Pekan, budak F2 kena pegang pelikat "KOLEJ MELAYU".

is that the right word ?..PELIKAT ?

Chamat:
It's placard fadli. I'll need to include you in my 'class'. Unless la kau memang nak pegang pelikat kan hehe, sapa punya?

Fadli:
ok chamat, count me in the english class..

rupanya PLACARD is it ???
ni gang gang "Court Rangle" yang ghupa ghupany "Quadrangle" is it ?
so how ?
patutlah 1119 aku C3.

Fazurin:
bantahan aku: pend agama islam should go to orang orang yang dapat c3 ke bawah sahaja sebab makin besar angka maksudnya makin tinggi maqam orang itu, so I humbly suggest RAFIZI ROMELI dan/atau MADAD ABDUL RAHMAN to take care of the pendidikan agama islam subject.

Rough:
Having a field day ye.....
Aku dengan ini volunteer untuk ajar pendidikan islam.... aku sure budak2 semua zuhud macam aku dalam exam and dapat C & D semua....

Auzir:
Jangan kau "mengajar" certain people dalam bilik BRU dah le.

The next day (after tones of e-mail which didn’t quite get the consensus of what we wanted to do regarding our contribution to koleq), KNO sent the following photo taken in 1992 after our SRP, which snowballed into another round of chain e-mails.

KNO:
ni aku attachkan gambar masa kat koleq, gambar masa tgh watch emende ntah kat bilik sebelah surau kat prep school. aku tak sure gambar tu masa form 2 or form 3, yang for sure bukan form 1 coz we're not wearing short putih. anybody can confirm?

Fadli:
KNO,
wah lau !!...gambar mana kau dapat tu ?

I cant remember what that picture relates to..

3PK 1 - tak mungking kerana Cik Wan Mohd Khairi, Hamizie & Jita were SPU and not PK...also Che Tam was PK 2 not PK 1
Reading class Set A - tak mungking sebab aku rasa Hamizie Hamidon bukan Set A
so what the hell was that pic relating to ?

Rahimi:
Such a nostalgic pic....Actually tue masa kita semua form three....masa
kursus pengurusan jenazah selepas SRP.........................

Abon:
Ye ke........ takan harmizie duduk depan skali. Chetam pun boleh senyum............korang tengok cite lain nie kot....................

KNO:
kursus pengurusan jenazah? kenapa takde ustaz pun heh? power ah memory ko.............. saper punya camera heh? aku tak bawak kamera lagi masa tuh...........

Mattop:
Cuma ingat, lepas SRP, ada trip pergi kilang buat souvenir, lepas tu ada budak2 kita plak pandai2 amik souvenir... then semua yg pergi trip tue kena kumpul kat surau prep school, kena confess sapa yg amik, tapi si 'physcho' plak punya la nak kipas HM, dia suruh ngaku isap rokok skali... hahaha... mangkuk betul...

Fadli:
Mat Top
bila pulak kita pegi trip kilang souvenir ni ?
ni class kau je ke ?
aku tak ingat pun pegi trip apa apa lepas SRP

KNO:
masa tu bukan semua pegi kilang souvenir tuh, ada class yg pegi kat craft centre KK. ada ke yg pegi kilang kicpa tamin heh?

takkan ko tak ingat fadli ooooiiiii......

Rough:
Ehh how come aku tak ingat the surau part?
aku cuma ingat halizah nangis sebab dia yang organise semua tu...

KNO:
aku rasa bukan kat surau la....kat class je............yepppp cikgu haliza ngangis lepas that incident

Fadli:
aku still insist yang after SRP aku tak de pun join mana mana geng pegi lawatan sambil blajar ni..
Kicap Tamim ke souvenir ke haram aku ingat..
unless of course korang ada gambar tu trigger this memory back..

Muta:
Heh.... fadli... ko bkn lepas SRP terus bukak buku blajor add math ke?? Tu yg langsung tak de masa nak menziarah ke mana2 tuh : P

Fadli:
OK LAH OK LAHHH...

aku mengaku lepas SRP aku dengan Kiasunya terus pinjam buku Add Maths budak F5 masa tu and pulun tak ingat dunia.. then lepas 2 minggu suddenly realize yang syllabus KBSM lain...( aku rasa kita punya lagi susah dari Jeril & Sherap punya )..

so maybe sebab tu kut aku tak join lawatan sambil belajar semua tu..
so how ??
berbaloi ke'kiasu'an aku pada masa itu ?

Muta:
If memory serves me right... ada satu lagi group kiasu masa kita F5... bebudak sc 1 yg pi ambik prinsip akaun.... hmmm... entah la... kononnya nak break koleq punya SPM record... 11A1s incl 1119.... mmm... ring any bell???

KNO:
muhahahaha. ko nyer memory mmg power la muta. aku pun dah lupa pasal bebudak sc 1 yang amik akaun dulu. tu belum masuk case bebudak arab amik jepun dan bebudak french amik jepun lagi tu.........will the real bebudak jepun and bebudak arab please stand up!....... :-)

At the same time, there was a discourse on what really happened in BRU in 1994, with the so-called tales of coup de tat (Footnote 3).

Fadli:
Can I see a deja vu of kita pilih someone and then Rough gulingkan the candidate reminiscent of what happened in 1PK1 ? Agaknya sebab tu Badut tak berani ambil the post iz it ???

Fazurin:
Hahahahaha.

Speaking of coup d'etats/deja vus: and also remember the time when Azrin Madin was selected to be Presiden BRU but in the end Raf jugak yang jadi pres? ;) (though from what i understand Raf was quite innocent in this one (hmmm....ye ke?) and that Jures and Gadap - those inexorable powers behind thrones - that were the true masterminds)

Fadli:
Fazurin,
Betul ke Azrin Madin @ Musyek @ Suka baca alam perwira berselindungkan kitab, was selected as BRU PResident ? This one i never knew... Jures & Gadap care to comment ?

Talking about mastermind, teringat aku akan si NALE budak Leman that was self proclaimed as Mastermind Batch 92.. and he became Jures' idol masa kat 3PK1...

btw, apa yang dimastermindkan oleh si Nale tu ?

Fazurin:
musyek baca komik alam perwira berselindungkan kitab? i didn't know that.

re: nale - good question. apa pulak yang dimastermindkan oleh si Nale tu? masa f3 kat big school dulu idok la pulak aku merasa akan ke-mastermind-an dia. maybe dia tu dah terlalu mastermind sampai orang tak nampak apa yang dimastermindkan.

entah-entah this BRU coup d'etat story telah digembar-gemburkan oleh Jures to cement his reputation as a mastermind ala-ala Nale, macam tu?

Jures:
Hahaha. If I'm not mistaken (ingat2 lupa ni), Musyuk was the chosen candidate by the previous BRU. aka batch 93.

But, knowing that by having rough as BRU president, our chance to get the allocated "budget" from the school admin to fund our "activities" will increase tenfold since rough punye PR dengan cikgu cikgi amat bagus sekali.

Hence, kenapa musyuk digulingkan dari senarai calon. HAHAHAHA.

Fazurin:
hmmm...such lofty motivations... ye ke? or is it because korang tau that Raf would be too busy with the 657 other posts that he held that year that you and Gadap would have a freer hand in running BRU? (admit it!)

Wong:
Apa BRU dah buat…??? Apa budget from Admin…???

Fazurin:
Jures dan Gadap - the inexorable powers behind thrones - sila jawab.

Rough:
errr i think jures payah nak jawab, sebab dia sibuk main jambu kat dalam bilik kebal. gadap sibuk ambik order nasi branch pavi.

bru sembahyang tiap2 hari mintak tolong tolak bala (bukan Bala the top jambu)......

Suri:
boleh main jambu dalam bilik kebal meh? kalo aku tau bilik kebal ada multi function, sure aku buat satu kat prep school. boleh charge org2 big school dtg berjambu kat situ. sure aku boleh bataq kfc weekend (nite?)...

korang penah dgr cerita exco bru masuk kfc kuala ikut back door sebab main door dah tutup, sebab dah pukul 1030pm? mungkin fazurin buleh crite. tu pun salah satu job bru jugak tu...

KNO:
perghhhhhh tu dia dah meletup skandal BRU dulu................more please..... muhahahaaaaa

Rough:
macam mana laaa nak buat bilik kebal kat prep school? Bilik kebal tu ada kat surau big school je, sebab dia tak nampak bilik pun (and no mior, it's not the one dekat hargreaves hall where koleq simpan soalan exams..)

lagipun unfortunately budak2 jagaan kau agak laa kurang lawa ha ha ha, market masa tu f3 ha ha. so kalau kau buat pun aku rasa the business tak take off.

ha ha aku pernah ikut fazurin pi kfc back door pukul sebelas sekali, lalu kot rumah wawu. and sekali tu kitorang terserempak ngan budak2 ahmad (kadaque semua kot) baru balik tengok movie kat capitol.

koleq memang lawless in 1994 ha ha ha.

Suri:
kurang lawa? patut la fazurin prgi menjambu kat big school jer.. tinggal kan aku keseorangan kat sana. fazurin!!!! apa kurang nya aku???

kat prep school pun ader la bilik kebal ciptaan aku sendiri. bilik tu tempat aku membantaq balance ice cream yg di serve kat high tea. operation time: mid nite.

yg paling best pegi kfc lepas business hour ni, buleh dpt ration free. antara nya ice cream, zinger burger, ayam etc. aku ada gambo2 bukti ration2 free tu. pas tu ada staff yg agak bunny sket yg selalu supply free ration tu. yg tu, aku tak dak gambo.

memang betul laaa... bru 94 diselubungi skandal2 dlm koleq n luar koleq.

So there you are – one week in the life of a dysfunctional batch of MCKK products. Despite the same recycled jokes and the nonsense, the sense of belonging to a place called MCKK is so strong that even people who rarely write e-mail will, when it comes to a subject related to Malay College.

To the Class of 94, next year marks our 10th year on the internet (the first batch’s website was published by Jures in 1996, and has been maintained continuously in one form or another till this day). Keep the e-mails coming, they will prove priceless thirty years down the line.

Footnote 1

Syam:
Sebenarnya effective sgt ke study malam2 ni...buat bantut je tak cukup tido...pastu ada bnyk activity2 lain pulak tu yg lagi seronok di buat bila dah bgn malam2...bukannya nak study...tak gitu chibiok....

Chibiok:
Bab tu aku no comment, reserve for more serious issue.... Aku study la ... tak caya tanya Fadli and Epit ...dia org tu aku tak sure la buat kat dlm kelambu .... seems like study each other je ...

Footnote 2

The original e-mail on the PMR results was sent by Rough to many other people from the koleq circles, which included Sdr Reza Baharin of the Class of 2000. He responded to the e-mails and inadvertently wrote to the batch’s mailing list.

Zaaba:
Dear all,

IMHO, PMR is a bad measure of a person's true academic potential. As far as I can remember the PMR was an exam to certify that your brain could retain, memorize and regurtitate facts ad nauseum without ever needing to understand the big picture. FYI, a PMR pariah in my batch is now flying planes for MAS in Sabah (I hope he's not transporting RM1mio painting consignments though!).

Lets just hope the batch can buck up and fare much better at SPM level where the doors will really open for them to go places.

Footnote 3

BRU in 1994 was possibly the most “unlike BRU” of all the BRUs in the 90s. Proofs:

1) President BRU actually got C3 for Pendidikan Islam,
2) Some of its highest office bearers actually attended a New Year concert in 1994 instead of conducting the usual weekly usrah,
3) 50% of the F5 Excos spent less than 3 weeks combined in 1994 at surau, preferring to pray in dorms instead,
4) the President wore his trademark shorts and could often be spotted taking his shower in his short during azan for Maghrib;

But the biggest proof of all – you only need to see how they are now to judge the mishap back in 1994. In fact the BRUs from among the F4s staged a protest of the selection of office bearers in 1994, but to no avail.

PMR Results 2005

News that filtered from Kuala indicated that koleq only managed to get 56 8As for this year's PMR, compared to 60+ (2004), 100+ (2003) and 88 (2002).

There seems to be a declining trend - and it was lower than the early years of PMR when the no. was 90++ to 100++ all the time.

Only half of candidates obtained A for BM.

We just need to wait for more news to see how koleq fares against other schools, but expect uproars.

Aiwa’s Letter

Aiwa’s letter dominated discussion for the past one week, which kept on transforming from one topic to another, closely related. What started as Aiwa’s bashing turned out to be AJK Batch bashing – which just shows how much things have changed from the koleq days where AJK Batch had the big license to “lecture” their own batch members. But everyone took it in good sport.

See the thread here, you wonder how much money Malaysian employers lose every day to this kind of serial e-mails:

Mior:

Hahaha. I had a good read on Aiwa's infamous letter to Fadli. What a shocker (not the contents but rather who the $%ck still keeps such letter after more than 13 yrs!!). Is that the original version signed by (MN)2. Haha, hebat2, whomever the organisers who really dug deep to make the event a huge success. Congrats mate. Keep it up.

P.S: Lessons learned, better be careful on what u write. What you say might be forgotten (not in our batch's case), but what you wrote will haunt u as hard evidence, hahaha. I wonder how Rough got away with abundance of love letters dia to Ayai. Lucky I just wrote "selamat hari raya" to Hamz.

Aiwa:

hei mior, it was a long time ago story la.. heheheh

suatu masa dulu, kami memang rapat. masa inspection kat new hostel, fadli la yang lipat baju aku. macam ada orang rumah la pulak. hehehe.. tapi fadli terrer+nerd , aku tak terrer campur nakal. heheheh so, aku tak layak.heheh mana boleh pipit dengan enggang berterbangan together and forever...haahahhaahh

fadli, thanks for keeping our memories... and the killing letter as well.

Rough:

Mana pernah ada love letters laaa.... was careful enough even back then maaa... and unlike Auzir, I do remember apa aku buat.... tak de laa jerit kuat2 kutuk orang tengok2 kad dia..

Thank God kau just bagi "Selamat Hari Raya", kalau kau bagi love letters sure dah tut tut dah by now. At least sekarang only tut tut ha ha ha

Fadli:

Mior,

if u r questioning why aku simpan surat Aiwa setelah 13 tahun, ask no more..

as I have said previously, surat surat ( baik layang ataupun tidak ) yang ditujukan kepada saya semua nya elok elok je dalam file.. cuma aku tak bind je lagi.. itulah the best source for "99 dalil kenapa Fadli tak boleh jadi ......"

so how ?...aku rasa kita kena pegi ransack rumah Rough and cari dia punya surat surat lama.. I am sure rough punya collection pun tka kurang hebatnya..

BOBO, kau amacam ? scanlah surat surat mu..

Fazurin:

tak payah ransack rumah rough. banyak incriminating evidence ada kat aku. tu tak campur oral testimonies of quotable quotes at batch meeting masa F2 lagi tu.

Mior:

Oo.. ko pun AJK batch ye Fazurin. Idok le teman tau. Undercover punya ker or biro agama? How was the election & selection process in F2? One thing for sure, the bogus election we had in F1 to select our AJK batch really taught us how a fair and just election can't never be achieved in Msia's environment, hah!

I wonder what basic criterion that Puyeng, Jeril, Chomang, Shrap & ID deemed sufficient for an AJK batch to possess back then. Was it suara macho cum maturity e.g. Ameba, or was it physical attributes e.g Zahadin, or good looks e.g. can't remember who, rebellious & outspoken e.g Rough or all of the above e.g. Toy aka Araza.

Rough:

Ha ha sampai hati banyak2 criteria kau bubuh aku rebellious & outspoken je? Bubuh laa jambu ke, pandai ke, gheti tiup ke......

Fazurin was not AJK Batch, but he has this strange habit of jotting down what AJK Batch did say in meetings - in view of blackmailing them in the future...

Kau punya compilation of the speeches dah siap ke Fazurin?

Fadli:

Fazurin,

bagi example of some quotable quotes from F2 Batch meeting ?

btw, lama siut aku tak dengar pasal Batch meeting ... what was the purpose of kita ada batch meeting dulu ? aku ingat masa F2 kita lantik ADDITIONAL batch punya committee members..contohnya Pejal..

apa lagi huh ? my memory is failing me

Fadli:

aku sering tertanya tanya, apsal korang tak pilih aku jadi AJK Batch huh ? aku gila teringin masa tu tapi HARAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...

to quote Mior, semua yang jadi MACHO MACHO belaka.... Macho ke Rough ?.. Macho kuttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

btw siapa tau akan apa jadi to Khafiz Mat Noh @ Tok Guru @ tak pernah masuk class in F4 tau tau dah hilang masa F5 ?

Rough:

Kau boleh tak entertain frustation kau tak jadi AJK Batch without melibatkan aku?

Anyway, aku rasa kau tak terpilih sebab kau pernah kena lempang ngan ID sebab mintak dia batalkan confinement kau.. ha ha I give you point for the guts to ask ID, kau ingat kau manja2 ngan dia dia nak kasi laa ha ha, sebab tu aku rasa record kau straight blackened out...

Alaaaa Fadli buat2 tak tahu pasal Khafiz, padahal deskmate dia..... we all sependapat in sc 1 that in order to get rid of competition, kau poisoned his mind sampai dia blah koleq. Lepas tu tak de challenger dah le for top student.....

Mengaku je laa Fadli...

Chamat:

Kita lantik kau utk ajk batch sekarang la fadli, amacam?

Apart from pejal, hairul & kalai pun dilantik as ajk batch members jugak kan masa form 2. Mungkin selection criteria masa form 2 lebih complex kot hehehe

Fadli:

chamat,
macam mana kau boleh ingat hairul and kalai dilantik masa F2 ? very the good memory iz it ?

Wong:

Sama case mcm kau gak kot Fadli...frust..tak terlantik...

Chamat:

i think they were responsible for really weird areas - ajk keselamatan and stuff like that. kau rasa selamat ke fadli masa form 2? Hehe

Fadli:

to answer u Chamat,

Di atas "Protection" dari AJK Keselamatan ( ie Hairul, Pejal, Kalai & Faz (??) ) aku rasa hidup aku di F2 lah yang paling aman tenteram...

Campur pulak protection dari bedmate aku ie AIWA @ (MN) kuasa 2, everytime aku berjalan dari NH via Big School to our class memang aku langsung tak pernah kena tegur or kacau..

well done lads...thinking back, aku rasa AJK batch banyak berjasa kepada batch.

"Ke arah keunggulan dan kesejahteraan"

Rough:

ha ha selection criteria masa f2 tu pun aku tak tahu.... tapi as salah seorang yg paling suka buat benda2 mengarut ni - it's more of the philosophy "if you can't change them let them join you", plus niat nak redress the so-called rigged election ha ha ha

tapi haram apa jadi - nasib baik pejal buat the famous speech on Berkat...... sampai bila2 he is remembered as AJK batch....

Nanti laa next reunion, kita buat election AJK batch baru nak? After all Bala pun dah jadi top jambu from last reunion...

Fadli:

HANG ON HANG ON !!!!
Suddenly my memory has come back to me...

Korang ingat tak masa F5 punya election for AJK House (ie pilih House President + AJK nya ) aku tersangatlah ingat yang MUTANIZAM ABDUL MUBIN was elected AJK for Pendidikan for Rumah Leman!!!

How ??....that was the first time in history yang House pilih a specific AJK untuk mendidik anak anak buahnya...

so persoalannya, to all those Lemanians, korang rasa "terdidik" ke di bawah naungan Mutanizam Abdul Mubin?

Muta,
I know u r in this mailing list...cerita sikit apa projek projek kau untuk mendidik budak budak Leman ?

Bukan rumah Idris pun ada pilih somoeone like that ke ?

sekali lagi aku frust, sebab Ahmad House tak de pun lantik AJK Pendidikan..

so how ?????

Chamat:

Ntah. All i know is that ajk batch mcm separuh dr batch je. Tiap kali batch meeting kat dlm dining hall yg bukan dining hall tu, separuh dr batch kat high table yg bukan high table tu.

Apa lagi ajk2 yg ada ya? Ada ajk railing x? Aku rasa macam ada je.

AJK pendidikan? How come i have no recollection of this? U sure u not making this up?

Mungkin ahmad x perlu ajk pendidikan kot, semua terdidik mcm kau hehe

Muta:

Errkk.... ye ke? Bila masa ni? Siyus nya tak ingat... aku dlm house committee ke dulu?? Honestly, yg ni aku btoi2 tak ingat... tapi aku still ingat aku dulu pres French Club masa F5 :-)

Wong:

I thought AJK railing suppose kena kutip 'boy london'..??

Form 2 ... to create konon-konon The New Generation (TNG)...TNGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! (those who could recall... sound effect kena tembak from over floor frm Tom & geng ) masa tu la Rough kamcing dengan Reza Hatta...

Tu jer la yg aku ingat AJK batch buat... similar mcm Malaysia's government.. 'ayam berkokok riuh sekampung'..buatnyer ...idok...

Fazurin:

what a pandora's box i have opened here. (evil laugh)

a sampling of quotable quotes from batch meetings by ajk batch kita:

"Berkat tu nama aje Berkat, tapi Cina punya tau tak? Orang Melayu jugak yang pegi Berkat tolong mengayakan orang Cina" - the famous Berkat speech by Pejal.

"Bahagian kulit pada kemaluan lelaki tu adalah bahagian paling sensitive sekali pada badan manusia. Sabun pulak mengandungi alkali. Jadi kalau korang caleng selalu nanti sensitiviti kulit kemaluan korang akan hilang." a speech on the deleterious effects of caleng by the inimitable Tok Guru. (comment: obvious pitfall in this argument is of course, kalau caleng tak guna sabun e.g. minyak zaitun ke, should be ok innit?)

"Korang dok selalu nyanyi lagu wind of change tu, korang cuba hayati sikit words dia. lagu tu kata "we could be so close like brothers". Like brothers tau tak" - the opening speech at the inaugural f2 batch meeting by no other than our president toy.

Quotable quotes by RAF comes at a premium. Please contact me separately to negotiate the terms.

Dan aku dengan rasminya mengisytiharkan bahawa aku MAKSUM daripada menjadi AJK batch.

Wong:


2nd quote really buat aku gelak gila..sampai org ingat aku giler duk gelak sorang-sorang !!..mangkuk..

Now we have sabun Johnson&Johnson.. facial cleaner pH 7... so no longer alkali ..boleh la pakai buat caleng... !!!

Fadli:

ok aku tak ingat sangat quote quote AJK batch.. tapi tiba tiba teringat..

" Kamu gunting rambut pendek pendek tu macam BUAH BACANG DIKULUM BABI".....by the famous Gedebe..

Persoalannya sekarang:

1) Buah bacang tu apa ?
2) Babi boleh kulum iz it ?
3) Babi makan ke buah bacang ?
4) Buah bacang tu ada rambut ke ?
4) Kat mana Gedebe pernah lihat Babi mengulum buah bacang ?

Wong:

Babi adalah merujuk kepada sinonim batch tahun genap yang juga dikenali sebagai batch kampung..ini adalah kerana hanya babi yang biasanya dapat dijumpai di kampung-kampung dan secara kebetulan dikampung-kampung terdapat banyak pokok bacang yang secara tidak langsung boleh dikulum
oleh sang babi.

Manakala 'batch 9094' dikatagorikan sebagai batch Beruk dan Bandar (BB = not BB Ice cream ) oleh kerana banyaknya beruk-beruk yang berkeliaran di Bandar-bandar besar seperti di botanical garden penang.......Namun apa yang mampu 'dikulum' oleh beruk tidaklah diketahui...

Fadli:

WONG SILAP !!!!
BABI BUKAN TAHUN GENAP, TAPI TAHUN GANJIL...

TAHUN GENAP ITU ADALAH BATCH YANG SEDARKAN DIRINYA ITU "BANDAR" OLEH ITU AHLI AHLINYA ADALAH "BERUK @ BABOON @ KONGKANG @ KING KONG"

SEKIAN PEMBETULAN

So to any present boys reading this, if you fancy a post as AJK Batch, my advice is to think twice. If you are terlajak and are already an AJK Batch, then for God sake please choose your words carefully as it will haunt you. To those who are not AJK Batch, start jotting down all your AJK Batch’s antics now, it can prove financially fruitful in the future.

As for Fazurin, I make it my life mission to expose his writing in NurIslam when he was the Chief of Syukbah Penerbitan of BRU in koleq and the chief propagandist back then ..... muahahaha (even more evil laugh).

And So It Begins ... (again)

The coaches for koleq's debating teams are meeting tonight to mark the start of the next debating season - with planning for the camping workshop and preparation timetable for 2006.

We are expecting quite a full quorum tonight, with both the Camping Masters group (Wong, Badut and Gadap) and the coaches group (Shahrol, Canoe, Allen, Izrin, Budu, Zaaba and Izzat) attending. Ben, Dany, Rizal and Faiz may come if they can make it - but they usually leave the task of drilling and torturing the kids to us, before they come for the tournament itself.

At the very least, there will be 6 debating tournaments that these boys have to participate, and on their shoulders rest our expectation that they will do justice to MCKK's debating heritage.

It's a mixed feeling to go through this all over again, as the last season was such a let down, against a backdrop of poor adjudicating qualities and prejudice. The only comfort that most of us the coaches took was the hope that the kids would have learnt something from the debating rooms that couldn't be taught formally in classes.

This was my note to all the coaches way back in June to mark an abrupt end to last season, hopefully my thank you note for the next season will be less melancholic:

Dear all

I am sorry for taking this long for something as simple as saying thank you. A lot of reasons (yada yada yada), but mostly I did not want to revisit the issue too soon after such a disappointing season.

I cannot thank all of you enough, especially those who form the backbone of the support group who have been with me since September 2003 on this. I don't even know my motive anymore as I am not really a nostalgic person who goes on and on about Malay College, but I know a lot of you did it for the right reason.

To those who were willing to stick through to honour your friendship with me although you don't see any impetus whatsoever to keep doing this, I personally owe you a great debt. It's this kind of friendship that makes us collegians special.

To those who have the welfare and the benefit of the kids at heart all the time, only Allah can repay you. The good deeds that we invest in other people's children, Insya Allah will be repaid through the good deeds that other people will invest in our children (in the future) - I have always believed this.

There are some of you who were never a debater back then but gave commitments more than what even former debaters have shown - I wish you yourselves were debaters back in college and things would have been a lot different.

I wish we could have won so that I can retire in peace and they can get rid of my ghost - but sometimes there are things beyond our control. The team was really good and I know they were a lot better than all the schools in PPM since we have seen all these schools at UIA, but it's rarely a question of ability and mental capacity, lest Ben and Dany would definitely have won PPM in 1990.

We can only hope that the kids are inspired by the efforts and tribulations we go through to push them to win PPM, so that they grow up to continue this small tradition that we have among debaters. I don't belong much to anything in this world, but I identified all that I am, that I was and that I will be with the training I received as an MCKK debater and the pride I hold as a debater - I hope they feel the same way, with or without the trophy.

Already the juniors are picking up things very quickly - the kids are up in arms again already plotting for next year's season. Plans are under way and their determination touches me. It's a good cycle - they want to win so badly to repay what we have done, we will keep doing this hopefully because we are touched by these energetic and determined boys. In the end - with or without the trophies - hopefully they leave MCKK a much better person worthy of the debaters' badge they wear, for sometimes it is not winning the championships that make our efforts worthwhile, it is seeing the change in their attitude, determination, knowledge and maturity that is priceless.

I don't know how long I can continue this, but it will be a time when my generation (the mid 90s generation) will have to pass the baton to the next generation. The early 90s generation delivered us 4 finalists and 2 PPMs, we hope to match if not to surpass that contribution. However, it is also important for the next generation of would be coaches (the late 90s) to start from now and put in the commitment that your predecessors have shown - the bond must not be broken, because it is very difficult to start from scratch just like we did in 2003.

Again I cannot thank you enough for the valuable support and contribution - from the usual suspects of the original coaches in 2003/04 (Ben, Dany, Rizal, Shahrol, Fazurin, Sani and Izrin), to the return to the fold of Faisal, Faiz, Kechoque and Chamat, to the addition of Allen, Canoe, Wong and Badut, to the new batch of junior coaches of Izzat, Zharif, Pojue and Afiq.

Maybe one day we will win PPM again and I can finally retire, although for the time being efforts just need to be doubled if we were to win PPM.

In my prayers I pray for your prosperity and for Allah to repay your good deeds, as well as that of the kids'.

Reunion Dinner Photos

The photos are being uploaded and collected. I have uploaded mine, Fadli will upload his tonight (so he promised) and I am picking the official photos from the pro cameraman Radin maybe tomorrow night. Others had committed to upload (apart from Mpro who has to cuci dulu then scan ha ha) but my guess is it will trickle.

I do intend to write on the reunion dinner, but have not had the time. Now we have to move onto organising and planning for next year's debating team's preparation, that will take quite a lot of our time, so maybe the story would have to come later.

But Aiwa's letter was classic, and for that I have to share it with everyone here.

For more photos, please visit Batch's Fotopages.

Back To School: Review Part I

The discussion on HSE KPIs spilled over from yesterday, until it was killed off prematurely by Chamat and digressed onto the reunion review:

Chamat:

Sebab xde kerja, suma org (or maybe it's just me?) pun pening baca pasal LTA/LTI yg berjela-jela. Gimme you boss' number and I'll call him back to the office for you so that aku x pening baca karangan2 pasal LTA/LTI.

Bitching aside, I'd like to thank the organisers for organising a great reunion dinner last weekend. It was a very enjoyable evening. Let's just not 'invite' MCOBA recruitment officers the next time around ya.

Oh, we might want to improve on the random number generator too :-)

Rough:

I will forward the complaints on random number generator to Bill Gates himself, for embarassing me so much that night.

As for the MCOBA recruitment officer, unfortunately he invited himself - but at least he did not try chat up lines with you Chamat *wink wink*

Mior:

Aiseh, looks like ppl lime me missed a lot. What's this Bill Gates's number generator & recruitment officer and all. Sapa2 lagi yg takde kerja today, mehla story sikit in details. Pictures won't speak a thousand words.

Fadli:

My beloved friends & brothers,

especially to the organizers, thanks for the efforts for gathering a bunch of long lost friends for a lovely night cum dinner cum reunion session... it was nice to jumpa korang semua after bertahun tahun lamanya....

For those of you who missed it, these were some of the highlights of the night:

- Rough kept to his words and wore his F1 white shorts despite the fact that peha dia dah 4 kali besar + dia lupa wax kaki dia yang berbulu...

- Badut still dengan dia punya samping purple Rashdi Ramlan and pakai labuhnya sampai ke bawah lutut.....abis gangsta lah tu badut !.....Chibiuk pakai full attire koleq...tapi as usual, perut dan bontot ada banyak kali ganda sekarang ni..

- Fido boleh muat lagi baju batik Dato Hassan Hashim yang kitorang kena pakai masa balik rumah......aku still tah faham macam mana kau muat lagi baju tu Fido...kau sure tak antar alter kat tailor mana mana..

- Bala was nominated, voted & selected uninamously as TOP JAMBU of the night.... FYI, aku duduk satu meja dengan Bala & Pica and I can assure u all, joke joke semua still era 94...tak berubah langsung.....meja kitorang gelak separuh mati tapi kalau orang luar dengar joke tu, sure tak faham punya...ala ala Alam Perwira punya era..

- Peah & Toy buat aksi ranjang dalam video 1994 yang Awi ambil di koleq...make sure korang tak masuk politics sebab aksi tu memang censored.

- Kalai punya kejuean and energy has not diminished over the years.... we watched the video yang Awie ambik masa F5 dulu and compare dengan "telatah serta tingkah lakunya" masa malam tu, memang tak berubah langsung.....well done kalai...

- Lutfi.... for just being there & Effendi for flying all the way from Kuching.

- Pok Peq for not being there... kitorang ingat dia nak buat last grand entrance but it never happened. So tak terubatlah rindu kitorang nak jumpa saudara afifi.

- Cabutan lucky draw guna Microsoft random generator...aku rasa nenek aku buat lagi RANDOM! ....konon kononnya Rough nak buat gempaq & hi-tech dia guna software untuk keluarkan nombor bertuah tapi at the end nombor yang sama keluar 23454 kali..... and yang paling musykil, 4 orang organizers dapat hadiah !... aku kurang yakin dengan integrity sofrware tu.

- Badut putting up a slide show on "business card" masa kita Form 1 dulu and then kitorang kena teka siapa yang empunya business card tu based on the "kata kata bell dalam card tu"...the usual suspects were : "Kiss me when we meet" - Noradli Parsada, "On and onwards" - Afifi Ahmad and then when it came to one card, Auzir Zakri dengan machonya cakap "siapalah hantu hantu yang buat kad macam ni dulu...aku tak pernah buat!".. then jeng jeng, tengok tengok nama yang keluar AUZIR ZAKRI..... at that moment, dia hilang KEMALUANNYA sebentar and Bala bangun hentam dia..

- Rough putting on in the slide show a letter that someone wrote to me masa kitorang F2 dulu and suruh orang teka... belum orang nak teka, AIWA cepat cepat bangun and mengaku yang dia PENULIS surat tersebut.... actually aku ada lagi surat lain yang lebih "menarik" dari tu but I will keep it for our 15, 20, 30 years batch reunion.... in fact aku rasa aku kena start tulis buku about it.. amongst the things yang Aiwa tulis dalam surat tu "Fadli, Next year kalaulah ditakdirkan SAYA masuk 3 PK 1, bolehlah kita jadi deskmate ye! Boleh lah kita study SAMA SAMA. Dulu bedmate nanti deskmate. Dulu, waktu kita jadi bedmate, satu NH tau. GLAMERLAH jugak!"

that was just the gist of it...as u guys might recall, Aiwa did not make it to 3PK1, KNO became my deskmate and hence aku tak dapat study SAMA SAMA bersama AIWA...sedih nya tak terkata...

ok I think I have written enough...

once again, to the organizers Epit, Rough, Badut, Zadin, Idzam Noor, Awie, Radin, Abon and all those who attended, thanks a lot!... it was worth my trip back home..

Aku actually tengah packing kat rumah ni sebab my flight back to Melbourne is at 8pm tonight.... but I had to write this email before I leave.

Mior, RUGI HANG TAK MAI !!!... Aku ada kutip payung Class of 94 untuk kau...

BTW, I will upload my pics in the koleq blog nanti...

Have a great week guys and hope to see you guys some time soon.

take care & salam,
E 53 (aku tengah cari kad aku buat masa F1 so that I can know apa ucapan bell yang aku included in that)...

LTA/LTI In Koleq Terms

Still fresh from the reunion dinner last weekend (of which I will write later once all of us recuperate), even definition of LTA/LTI (if you are not in technical lines don't bother) was given in koleq's terminology:

Chibik:

Kengkawan,

Anybody here can explain me what's the difference between LTA and LTI? How this thing works in HSE department? Please...

Wong:

Ha..ha... beza LTA & LTI mcm beza karipap and nasi lemak kat dining hall... both meant for bataq...but one is on Tuesday masa snack (which normally Science 5 yg bolot) lagi satu masa Jumaat breakfast...(which biasanya Bocap kebas sambal banyak gila....) and coincident plak..Bocap science 5...!!

So same mcm LTA & LTI..both are HSE KPI..but the only different is LTA (Lost Time Accident) and LTI ( Lost Time Incident ).... both phrases which normally people thought interchangeable actually not at least in HSE...la..

Incidents - unplanned event or chain of event which HAS or COULD have caused injury or illness or damage to property or environment or combination of these... ( e.g. sum of fatalities, Permanent Disabilities, Permanent Partial Disabilities and Lost Workday Cases )

Accidents - unplanned event or chain which HAS caused..bla..bla..bla..mcm atas la...

So the main different... Incidents includes 'Near Miss'..while accident not...

So in modern HSE practice.. those who calculate LTA.. normally 'bell' skit mcm those yang pakai spek F1 kat slides presentation masa dinner .... skit..as nowadays people are calculating LTI instead of LTA..pasal no point kalau nak calculate those dah berlaku jer..without instilling preventive culture...then normally masa calculate nak rationalize that..they come out with frequency..call LTIF ( Lost Time Incident Frequency)..formula.. (LTI/Exposure hours) x 200,000 or LTI/Exposure hours) x 1,000,000 ..depending on mazhab mana dia pakai.....US ker UK...

But in case of Muta patah tangan dulu..aku pung tak dapat classified apa..pasal aku tengok bataq pung makin banyak..and kalu ada award bataq masa dinner arie...aku sure Muta menang...!!

Wan Azman bin Wan Mahmud
Central Asia QHSSE Manager*
(Quality, Health, Safety, Security, Environment)

PS

* Nasib baik qualified HSE Manager and job scope covered a quarter of the world, kalau tak haram aku percaya

** Reunion dinner was a blast, but am too buried with office work to write. Need to gather all the photos first anyway

Reunion Chat

An excerpt from an online chat, between A, B and C (names disguised, although it's not that difficult to figure who is who) that led one thing to another:


A: laaa mcoba dinner
A: awat?
A: kau pergi ke?
B: xtau.. baru tau smalam masuk the star
B: siap selit pasal citer azahari
B: that pix yg ada 2 performers = budak koleq?
A: don't know
A: i read the e-mail version
B: x sangka ada gak bdk koleq yg support azahari
A: ha ha u can understand the emotion
A: u r either ignorant/hateful of islam, or u r too strong a moral high grounf guy
A: not to sympathise with azahari
B: i take the latter
B: hahahhaa
B: btw mpro maybe dtg
A: mpro dah confirm dtng laaa
A: dah bayar kat aku pun
B: caitz.. baru td die bagitau
B: rupenye confirm dah
A: cheh member dah siap volunteer nak tolong balik
A: aku definitely akan pakai short ngan tie
A: kau nak pakai apa ni?
B: huh?
B: giler ape..
B: bru bro
A: ha ha aku bra laa dulu
A: fun apa
A: though it cost me a bomb laa
A: ingat senang nak cari short my size nowadays ha ha
B: aku tau epit pakai putih gak
B: tapi bkn short a
B: aku pun camtuh gak kot
A: ha ha ok laa
B: woi.. kalau kite2 aje takpe gak..
A: so long as korang pakai smthing laa
B: nie bini2 member ada maa..
A: ala ada 2-3 orng bini je
A: kaki husband diorng buruk
B: aku xde seluar putih tapi..
A: baik tengok kaki aku
B: ada warna kuning2 skit..
B: boleh kot.. cakap aku pakai seluar bala
A: muahahahaha
A: aku kena quote tu ha ha
A: seluar short hitam terbelah kau tak de?
B: hahahhaha
A: kalau pakai baru betul kau ha ha
B: mau kena tahan before masuk hall
A: ha ha although make sure kaki shave laa
A: and jgn XXXXXX cakar sana sini
A: ha ha ha
B: ko giler ke mau save
B: pakai mesin potong rumput pun tokleh
C: sorry la, ade discussion jap tadi
C: ingatkan korang dah blah
A: ha ha ingat ke dah gi dating
A: C kau nak pakai apa?
C: pakai baju la
B: lawak sc 1
A: HA HA HA HA
B: wei duduk ikut dorm prep school ka..?
A: C kau dah memalukan sc1 dah
B: dorm d kedatangan memberangsangkan gak
A: mana boleh, nanti aku kena duduk ngan YYYYYY
A: duduk free seating laa
A: sapa nak duduk ngan PQPQPQ
A: ha ha PQPQPQ dorm d
A: ok set kita duduk pakai dorm
B: hahahha
B: sial
B: jap check mula
C: tp dorm mana satu?
C: masa mula2 masuk ke, masa dah ikut hse?
C: jap, masa mula2 la
B: ikut hse boring ler
B: masa prep school ler
C: ye la 2
B: warna biru dalam list mende?
C: camtu aku rasa dorm a sure fail la
C: mau aku sorang aje kot
B: wei ramai la
C: dah la aku tak bataq
A: yang ijau tu aku kena kejor
A: itu aku punya
B: dorm a sampai no baper?
C: e24
A: dorm a sampai e24
B: e60 pun A?
A: e60 dtng beb
A: ha ha yeap aku punya
A: aku fetish lemak2 ni
B: caya laa.. boleh katoq rokok
B: yaa.. A karib e66
C: takpe2, baru aku ingat muta ade
A: e66 sapa?
C: sure dia sorang bole abiskan 5-6 org punye ration
C: ahahahaha
B: ada 8 org dorm a C
A: ha ha ha
A: RRRRRR
A: aku terhutang sbb gulingkan dia dulu
C: alamak, RRRRRR pun ade
C: camni kene revise la
B: aku target nak spend some time ngan NSNSNS
C: kite free seating
B: x pernah ckp kat koleq
A: NSNSNS?
A: HA HA HA
A: macam sial laa
A: nanti laa aku make surekan korang duduk sebelah NSNSNS
A: aku ingat balak lama
B: hahaha..
B: farid syahril budak ahmad eh C?
C: B ko taste mcm MPRMPR dah ke?
A: ha ha ha
C: suka yg hitam manis
B: yg kecik2 gelap2 tuh?
C: ahahahahaha
A: mana ada kecik2 laa
A: ganja quite besar laaaa
C: die tinggi 7 kurus
A: unless u were referring to benda lain laa as kecik
A: ha ha ha
B: haaha
B: oo.. silap org..
B: ada sorang f4 baru gelap2 kecik2..
B: main bola goreng sampai hangus..
C: yg cakap laju nak mampus ke?
A: aik sapa ni?
B: haa.. betul C
A: lagi laa aku tak leh ingat
B: mcm india skit.. rambut itam kilat
A: descripton -> main bola
A: haram laa aku main bola
C: ko main bola sendiri aje
A: woi sapa ni
C: ahahaha
A: masa tu aku tak berapa main bola sendiri lagi
A: kat uk start ha ha
B: f5 ada orang mainkan eh A
A: ha ha ha
B: die buat bulu tangkis
A: YEAH BABY
A: betul B
A: ha ha ha
B: mcm MPRMPR afza buat jadi baton relay 4 x 100
A: ha ha aku tak baca the part on "buat bulu tangkis"
A: SIAL LA KAU B
B: hahahha
A: ha ha ha
A: so sapa budak f4 baru td?
A: bukan azli ke?
A: budak kelantan tu
C: aku rasa si farid 2 la yg budak cakap utara laju giler & goreng bola sampai hangus 2
B: azli putih
A: ye la tp farid @ ganja golap
A: and tinggi
B: betul
B: ada f4 baru nama syahril?
A: let me think
A: is it shahril syazli?
A: dia gelap
A: tak besar sngt
B: haaa.. die laa
A: rambut banyak minyak mcm hinudstan
B: hahahahha
B: spot on A
C: hahahaha
A: laaaa C tak guna kau
A: dia group kau laa masa f5
B: bagus skit la description ko A
B: aku cakap india terus
C: aku tau, die dok depan aku
C: sebelah azril
B: sial.. aku kehilangan ganja
A: ha ha kau memang jahat
B: tadi aku picture ganja = lone
A: kalau tak jambu sikit je
A: memang description x lawa
C: bak kata MPRMPR, beauty is 2 d eye of d beholder
C: ahahahaha
C: if not, masa kan afza jadi rebutan
B: yaa.. mau tgk bini PQPQPQ
B: mesti in previous life minah tuh buat dosa besar
C: bile PQPQPQ kawin?
A: ha ha kau jahat giler laa B
A: although i couldnt agree more
A: ni sure anak beranak raja siam
A: have sex ngan sibling
A: sbb tu dilahirkan jadi bini PQPQPQ
B: hahahahha
B: eh masa reunion dulu.. picca x kahwin lagi kan?
A: pica memng tak kahwin lagi
A: apsal nak buat bini no 2 ke?
B: abih apsal ada spouse?
B: ke gf?
C: gf la 2
A: bila pulak pica ada spouse?
A: tak ingat pun
A: ke dia serious when he said dia nak bawak brother
A: sebb back to school
B: akram othman spouse = Y
A: bawak brader laaa
B: total 2
C: sial
B: ke ashraff othman nih?
A: ha ha tak kot
C: baru aku nak sebut
A: tu nanti dilahrikan jadi anak PQPQPQ lak
A: ha ha main jambu ngan abg sendiri
C: incestual relationship
A: selamba je kutuk
B: urkk..
B: just imagine sense of humour anak diorang
A: anak sapa?
A: PQPQPQ or picca
A: or picca + ashraf osman?
B: (if they can produce children in the first place la)
A: ke anak C + NZNZNZ?
B: othman A..
A: ha ha ha
B: osman exclusive untuk pyan aje
A: anak sapa? anak othman ke?
A: sbb joke picca and ashraf dua2 boleh laa tahan
C: anak2 othman
C: ahahaha
A: tahap ke bell an ha ha
B: hahahha
B: mcm novel hardy boys...
B: anak2 othman
A: MUAHAHA HA
A: ada gaya laaa
B: komik paling tak lawak abad ini
A: rambut dah mcm tu
A: cuma tak blonde je
A: woit aku baca laa masa kecik2 dulu
A: hardy boys n nancy drew
A: in fact siap tngk cerita lagi ha ha
B: hardy boys mmg ok
B: komik anak2 othman tuh
B: tho ko bace nancy drew A?
C: masa 2 A tgh identity crisis
C: ahaha
A: aik salah ke baca nancy drew?
B: hahhahaha
C: aku nak solat dulu
C: jamak takyah
A: yeap tengah consider nak chop off penis altogether dulu
C: so korang teruskan la ngutuk ye
A: jimak je laa terus
C: ahahaha
B: hahahhaha
B: jom C solat jemaah jarak jauh
B: aku pun nak solat
A: jgn jimak ngan tangan jgn C
B: later
A: ok laa later
B: aku calos dulu..
A: okay
B: see ya guys later
A: aku sampai mlm kot
A: c u guys l8er laa
A: shave kaki
B: just read on singapore sexpo
A: ha ha apsal lak?
A: kau nak gi ke?
B: die kate the most sensitive male bodyparts is the ridges somewhere at the scrotum
B: so wanna test whether it is true or not tonite..
A: which ridges?
B: so u continue whatever ur doing now, and i will do just dat..
A: lepas tu kau kena bagi specific location
B: aku rase line vertical kat telur tuh
A: yeah right
A: langsung tak sensitive laaa
B: hahahahaaha
A: quite an expert u c
B: dgn confidentnye A menjawab
A: dah try pun sekarang
A: in office
B: wahahhahahahahahhahahaha
A: tak sensitive pun
B: hahahah
B: cam sial..
A: kau balik laa experiment
B: ok lah.. later
A: aku tak convince
A: ok later
A: aku bet 10 rm kau tak successful
A: kena gelak kat XXXXX ada
C: siut aje
C: sempat lg buat eksperimen kat ofis 2

Profil Pelajar MCKK

From my last visit to the alma mater, I have this sinking feeling that the school (by this I mean people who are running the school) is going out of her way to redefine what constitutes a budak koleq.

The identity of college boys which was so much based on subtlety and quiet understanding that markedly makes us different, is quickly eroding. I have resigned to the fact that it’s very difficult to make non-budak koleq understands what is it that makes budak koleq a budak koleq – and for example why writing “Pengawas Pusat Sumber” on a Malay College tie, or why sewing a big college’s crest on the maroon blazer is an abomination of what Malay College is all about.

We don’t need signage or big label in white on our tie or blazer to tell who we are. A small green badge or red badge is enough to tell that one is a prefect or biawak – subtlety is a form of mannerism that we guarded firmly in our conducts as budak koleq. We were taught to be confident and to take pride in that confidence and therefore, we do not need to differentiate ourselves with what we wear, but more with how we behave. I learnt many things from Malay College, but self-publicity was not one of them!

(Anyway I don’t intend this rambling to be of high philosophical value, so let’s cut the crap and go straight to the point)

Nowadays if you happen to be around the Foyer, instead of the usual whiteboard with announcements and roster of wardens and prefects on duty, you will find a cheap looking plastic board, almost similar to the ugly ones you find in Hargreaves Hall (which replaced the classic and valuable wooden panel – God our administrators just do not know how to value history and arts!) – that lists down the so-called “Profil Pelajar MCKK”.

I have decided to come up with a simple checklist with ratings and indicators to see whether I, who had left the school more than a decade ago, fit to be a Malay College student today:

Putera MCKK segak bersopan
- 10 points if you were a jambu back then
- Minus 5 points if during your stay at Prep School, you ever received a confinement (or more) on charges of being “selebet”
- Minus 50 points if you ever chased the teachers with parang or any similar dangerous weapons
- 20 points if you ever had an affair (non-physical affair) with a lady teacher or any adult women from Kuala Kangsar, including member of the canteen’s staff

Sentiasa mara menuju kegemilangan
- 10 points if you were in the top 10% of your class
- Minus 5 points if you skive your Sukantara events by climbing into someone’s cube to sleep
- Minus 20 points if you spend too much time with special someone, or your classmates, or your dorm mates that you only started revising 2 months before SPM
- 50 points if you achieve 12As or more in any exams

Ilmu dituntut tiada sempadan
- 10 points if you took more than the mandatory 9 subjects in SPM and scored As in all of them
- Minus 5 points if you are one of those who slept more in the library than on your own bed (during school hours, afternoon prep and evening prep)
- 10 points if you attend extra classes/tuitions during the afternoon and night preps
- Minus 20 points if you did not get 8As in PMR

Pada Ilahi dipohon keredaan
- Minus 10 points if you sodom (that is sembahyang-dalam-dorm) when you were in F4 or F5
- Minus 20 points if you go to Masjid Ridzwaniah on early Saturday morning for Subuh prayers with the intention of dating your “brother” and buying him “putu mayam”
- Minus 30 points if you “abused” the cubes (or climbed into someone else’s cube) to skive Friday prayers
- Minus 50 points if you did not get A1 for your Pendidikan Islam in SPM despite the fact that you were one of the BRU (or its successor BANI) Excos

Well you get the drift.

Half way through of developing the checklist, I decided to take a go to see whether I fit (no point doing the whole checklist if I don’t pass through the first paragraph ha ha):

Putera MCKK segak bersopan: 0 point
Sentiasa mara menuju kegemilangan: (10 – 5 – 20) = -15 points
Ilmu dituntut tiada sempadan: -5 points
Pada Ilahi dipohon keredaan: (-10 – 20 – 50) = -80 points
Total so far: -100 points

Compared to the standards that I have in mind (and based on what is expected of budak koleq nowadays):

> 100 points : Congratulations! You are our perfect Malay Collegian of the new millennium

50 – 99 points : You will still pass a first cut scrutiny but you will be a nobody in college because you do not possess the majority of the criteria required

0 – 49 points : The only reason you are here in Malay College is either your dad is a big shot in MCOBA or he has powerful friends in the government, otherwise you do not even fit to be in our Detention Class

< 0 point: You are a scum bag that put the whole school at risk and your kind of people will just create more problems to us, grow up to become a loser and should not even be allowed to go to any school for that matter. You will become like that Dr Azahari*, or Hishamuddin Rais!

Oh well…. I guess our education system, not just the Malay College, is so messed up that if we were to go through the school system now, there will be a big mark on our forehead – “problematic child, untalented etc. etc.” because we just do not fit the expectation and focus of the present system.

If you don’t have anything to do and is a loser like moi by today’s expectation of a good student, do have a go at the test to see whether you even deserve to be in the Detention Class ha ha.

PS: No disrespect to Allahyarham

Back To School: Reunion Dinner

The flyer is out, please pay either by cash or bank into the 3 Stooges' accounts. Deadline to pay is Friday next week.

Hafiznizam Hashim, Maybank, 155014945552
Affendi Rashdi, Maybank, 164155481100
Mohd Rafizi Ramli, BCB, 13050030895527

MCOBA Annual Dinner 2005

Dear Sir,

MCOBA is having its Royal Gala Dinner (i.e. the Annual Dinner) on November 26, 2005 at the Kuala Lumpur Convention Centre. This year's event is to mark the closing of MCKK's centenary celebrations, and to celebrate MCKK's reaffirmed patronage under the Council of Malay Rulers. The Agong and Rulers from all States will be attending.

Tables for the Royal Gala Dinner are still available for sale at RM3,000.00 for a table of 12, or RM250 per seat. Proceeds from table sales will go directly to MCOBA to fund MCOBA activities next year.

Let's show up in full force! If you haven't purchased a table yet, do so now. As it is the 100th anniversary of the College, it would be great if every batch could take up at least one table and be represented during the Royal Gala Dinner.

To purchase a table, please call MCOBA at 03-2274 6306 and ask for Hafizi/ Suraya/ Azhar Ariff.


Thank you.

Yours truly,
AZHAR ARIFF (Ja'a)

Ha ha any takers? Yet again this batch is not going to be represented ha ha, although I doubt people will even notice our absence, since we were never present for people to take notice of us in the first place.

PS:

Because of the coming Reunion Dinner, I have been calling so many people, especially those who are in our MIA list. Tonight I called one of the most celebrated MIA-ers - the kind of cold treatment I was subjected to was beyond my expectation or comprehension. I took that as a war declaration - so I'll reserve all the things I have to say about this to a later date when I have ample time to bitch as much as possible.

I simply don't tolerate ill manners, so if they think they can be rude to me - you pick up the wrong guy ha ha. Watch this space, I am going to summon all the dark sides for this.

Rain Drops Keep Falling On My Head (and some bird's poo poo too)

Rain drops keep falling on my head,
But that doesn't mean my eyes,
Will soon be turning red,
Crying not for me,
Cause I am never going to stop,
The rain by complaining

So I did just some talking to the sun,
And I said I didn't like the way,
He got the things done,
Sleeping on the job,
Those raindrops are falling on my head,
They keep falling

But there is one thing I know,
The blues that they send to meet me won't defeat me,
It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me

Raindrops are falling on my head
And just like the guy,
Whose feet are too big for his bed,
Nothing seems to fit,
Those raindrops are falling on my head,
They keep falling

But I am free,
Nothing's worrying me,
It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me

Rain drops keep falling on my head,
But that doesn't mean my eyes,
Will soon be turning red,
Crying not for me,
Cause I am never going to stop,
The rain by complaining

Because I am free,
Nothing's worrying me

PS:
Opt for Ben Folds Five's live version, it's much better.

PPS:
You'd be thinking about getting soaked in the rain too when you have to bloody stay in office till the wee hours on the first day of coming back to office after Raya holidays. What shit did I do in my previous life that I deserve this in this life, even Count Dracula is being punished as George Bush Jr (uglier, more coward and certainly a lot less intelligent), so I must be someone worse than Dracula in the previous life.

PPPS:
The headcount is 70+ now. Should be able to breach 100 by end of next week - to the goons who have not confirmed please contact Epit or Badut.

Selamat Hari Raya From a Dysfunctional Batch

Raya season is here – while there are people who are crying their heart out because they have to work on Hari Raya in a country which is not even aware of the existence of Eid-ul-Fitri (read: Fadli), the majority of us are already in the Hari Raya mood even on the last day of the week before the festive week officially begins.

For that, most of us are not doing any work today in compensation for all the late hours spent without over time for the past 5 years (excuse maaa…)

The preparation for the Back To School Reunion on 3rd December at KGPA is in full swing. Another meeting was held last night, with a new addition to the self-appointed committee that is Epit’s wife (I completely understand and appreciate the appeal of getting married to someone from either TKC, SSP or STF, because it’s so easy for them to tag along and understand why we are what we are. They even chipped in when it comes to jambu-related jokes!)

Anyway, Badut and Epit had together vetoed and unilaterally adopted “Back to School (Make It Happen)” as the motto – I am expecting a lot of sarcastic comments from Chamat, but Badut and Epit shall confidently defend the motto they chose.

The itinerary is already being finalized – with a lot of clips and sketches from the yesteryears. It would be a blast, provided many others help us compile all the photos, clips, excerpts from highly sensitive records (read: Buku feylong) etc.

But the most important part is how you turn up – so far Fadli is so committed to wearing his fluorescent green short that he used for mandi after games hours, which he described in his own words:

“ In the spirit of "Sperek Koleq" and "UNITE FECT !! ", I will pay my share of the meal even though aku tak leh confirm that I can attend or not...Seriously, the idea of seeing 100 old friends in tight white shorts ( or in my case FLUORESCENT GREEN shorts ) is very appealing, looking at the things go now, aku tak leh nak confirm...But will definitely try to make it...watever it is, i can count on you guys on making it a blardy great event...

kalau aku jadi pergi, aku akan make sure that aku akan cari baju ahmad yang dah lusuh tu + shorts for sukan tara + black war yang kalau kau campak dalam sungai semua ikan mati...”

As for others, I heard plans to actually turn up in the F1 shorts and long socks (although to locate the long socks after 15 years will be a challenge) – but expect many house badges or black war that night ha ha.

So as you go home for this Raya, please go through your things from koleq years and decide how you want to turn up at the reunion. If you come across really nostalgic materials that are worth putting up for a good laugh, please contact one of us.

To those who have not confirmed, please do so as soon as possible, either to Epit (019 3388498), Badut (019 282 6905) or Rough (013 980 7907).

Lastly, the customary and obligatory festive greeting of “Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Batin”.

* ps: We used to do Warta-style Raya dedication, but we are way too old for that now

* pps: We have been calling people for confirmation, I come across one guy who had to lie instantly that he had to attend a family wedding on that particular day in order not to attend. The problem was he was a very bad liar – it was obvious that he wanted to avoid the reunion, as much as he wanted to avoid us when we come across each other once in a while. So MCKK experience is not always rosy to everyone, some wanted to forget it badly they had to lie through their teeth

Seven Deadly Lists

Ayie (Class of 98) tagged this blog for the list of seven things that is going around the blogs.

As a Form 5 I can still remember him when he was a Form 1 – partly because Prep School was not out of bounds during our time and anyone can go there if they wished, unlike in prior years when Prep School was more guarded than Alcatraz. Contrary to popular belief however, some people who went to Prep School (myself included) went there to sleep at Fazurin’s cubicle or skive classes or buy the nice fried rice that this one Pak Cik sold (it was way to kicap-y for me though), not to have a chat with juniors. As much as I kept my distances from the juniors (but not from their grubs ha ha), I remember Ayie quite well, maybe because he was a bit little in size (physical size, nothing beyond that).

Anyway, since this batch has produced an underground alternative band on one extreme, to a potential jihadist who allegedly had been to Afghanistan for training on one extreme (though I bet he does not speak of this as openly as he did before Sept 11, lest he may find the experience being stripped naked and dumped in a small cell somewhere near Kampung Pasir - which he used to frequent as a student to learn kitab - way too creepy), I have to think hard to represent the batch as colourful as possible.

I shall start with the list that captures our imagination most:

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex
1) Sex
2) Boobs – (E81)
3) Sex
4) Sex
5) S&M – (E73?)
6) Trophy wife that brings power and glory – (E96)
7) Sex – (mostly E46)

7 things I plan to do before I die
1) See another budak koleq as a Prime Minister, and a just one at that
2) Legalise cross dressing (E46)
3) Close American Embassy (E52)
4) Reunite the Kingdom of Pattani with the Malay States, where it belongs
5) Become so stinking rich I die intoxicated from the smell of the notes (E98)
6) Become Headmaster of MCKK and make it a requirement that you must attain a certain level of jambu-ness before you can enrol (E43)
7) Grow my hair back (ha ha ha) (E53, plus E3 ha ha)
7.5) Visit Aslam and satisfy my ego that he will allow me in and not threw me out of the house the way he did Jures ha ha (well not before I die laa, certainly before I am 30)

7 things I cannot do
1) Cuddle a cat, I’ll faint when cats come near me (E71)
2) Suck up to boss
3) Main jambu with present boys when you have left the school for 10 years and there are 1001 ways to satisfy your emotional and sexual needs, legally or illegally
4) Go back to Old Boys Weekend, wear a grin and enrol for MCOBA membership (ha ha at least not yet)
5) Lose weight (E43, E27, E95 dan kawan-kawan)
6) Drive carefully, follow the rules and not to make a hazardous u-turn in the middle of the road without causing a potential road accident in the living daylight (E37)
7) Grow taller (well since I was in F1 actually – E6)

7 things I can do
1) Spend one whole day in office for 18 hours, looked extremely stressed out but did not do a single work, having been online all the time
2) Eat one whole periuk of nasi and one whole piece of fried chicken at one go (E11)
3) Sell scented oil from my chin as minyak dagu (E19)
4) Have 20 girlfriends in 5 years, spend thousands of ringgit and build a niche as a failed Casanova and yet remained unmarried till this very day (E13)
5) Spam everyone’s mailbox with my 3 MB file of Powerpoint presentation with blue blackground and pictures of me visiting various places on Earth that slide in when you press a key, without ever learning how to make a better presentation or use Fotopages! (E53)
6) Go out for dinner and come back just in time for my 11 pm curfew, despite my tender age of 28 (E68)
7) Not shaved for ages and still considered a celebrity and have fans screaming for me (E91)

7 celebrity crushes

(Depending on whether these crushes took place in MCKK or post MCKK)

In MCKK:
1) Tut tut
2) Tut tut
3) Yatex (kira celebrity laaa ni….)
4) Tut tut
5) Sherry (E46)
6) Tut tut
7) Sheila Majid (E46 – dia ni je yang tegang dari dulu sampai sekarang…)

Post MCKK:
1) Homer Simpson
2) Julia Roberts
3) Barbara Streisand (E81 – dia suka hidung besar2 ni)
4) Winona Ryder
5) Princess Diana and Queen Mother (E53)
6) Sherry (E46 – old flame)
7) Lulu the Big-boobed model from Eurothrash who died because her watermelon-sized boob was way too big for her (E98)

7 often repeated words
1) So how…. (E53)
2) Tu laa pasal…. (E46)
3) “Kama tu lawa laaa….” (E93)
4) Hi haw hi haw hi haw… (bila dia gelak laaa… E98)
5) Insurans (E103)
6) Aku yang jambu pun dia tak tegur… (E81)
7) Projek berjuta juta (E96)

ps: Had a lengthy chat online with Fazurin (despite the fact we live in the same area) on our plans for the Back to School Reunion on 3rd December. I am considering seriously the proposition to wear shorts (as in F1 uniform) since Fadhil dared me to the challenge, in exchange for a dinner of my choice.

pps: In case you want to know to whom the list relates to, check here

To WOT Slave Out There: Knife of Dreams Is Out

" Internationally bestselling author Robert Jordan’s eleventh book in his wildly popular The Wheel of Time™ series, KNIFE OF DREAMS, will go on-sale nation-wide this October 11, 2005. KNIFE OF DREAMS will be the second to last book in the highly acclaimed The Wheel of Time™ series, the last three books of which have all been #1 New York Times bestsellers."

To the members of this batch who had been enslaved to the Wheel of Time series - which started of really well but went on too long that I have completely forgotten what happened in the last book (oooh! Maybe NOTHING happened hence why I cannot recall anything)- the pen-ultimate book (as claimed by Jordan) is now out, entitled Knife of Dreams.

This better be good. I will join Fazurin in our promise that if Jordan dies before completing the series, after taking us for the ride all these years, we will urinate on his grave!

As much as I despise this American writer who manipulated the child in us to make as much money as possible, it's quite an achievement to get us beholden to a series of fantasy books this long.

Pen-ultimate book heh? We'll see. And don't even think of writing another prequel - start working on Book 12!

* Wheel of Time, which started in early 1990s, most probably will be outpaced by Harry Potter which was first published circa 1996/97. That differentiates a Brit from an American.

A Series of Makan-makan

This batch is big on makan-makan. When we were in Form 5, because of our love of food, we even had a Fruit Festival - basically used the profits that we made from the cheering t-shirt, bought a few lorries full of durian, rambutan and all sorts of local fruits, dumped them right in the middle of padang Big School, and had everyone - from the teachers, workers, budak koleq - to eat as much as possible.

We still continue with that eating "tradition", as you can see from the number of makan-makan we have in the space of 1 month.

@ Gloria Jeans Lepas Friday Prayers (4 weeks ago)

Shahrol boleh lentok dengar joke Haji Auzir.... not in the picture is Brahim Class of 93 (one of the BRUs of the old school who do justice to the brand BRU)

@ Gerai Uniten (3 weeks ago)

Top jambu Class of 96, one Nadir Shazli who has not changed a bit despite all the long years with the Japanese



Brother kepada Nadir masa kat Dorm 22 dulu, Bro Sharap kiter



Brother kepada both Nadir and Sharap, adik Bobo kiter (masa kat koleq laa)

@ Dome - final Twister Club before puasa (last week)

Pejal and Rahimi, both had one time or another served as Prep School and New Hostel prefects, so banyak laa rahsia2 yang budak batch 9397 ada pasal budak2 ni

@ McD Club Kerteh (last week)

Macam ni lah budak2 koleq menyambut Ramadhan - main cards kat hotel!



For RM2, you can Jumbo iced lemon tea kat Kerteh!



Jita and Nazma - awat taste kau sepesen Jita?



Canoe sempat catch up with Nuddin (Class of 98) who came late with a second round chicken chop



Bobo dah 3 minggu tak *makan*, so trying his best to force a smile

@ First more(sic) (this week)

Kalau dari koleq pakai kopiah putih macam ni dah boleh jadi Pres BRU dah!



Supremos of GROINHER - Epit and Badut



Zadin tengah pikir panjang apa pun aku tak tahu, because masa tu Chibix was talking about "lawanya Kam*"....

Ni tak campur orang lain punya makan-makan ni.... God we contribute so much to Malaysian economy.

Wong and Gadap's Tour of India

Wong:

He..he... sajer aku nak juwe'... aku dgn Gadap baru jer balik backpacking kat India..as per attached photos...covered Bombay & ahmedabad... penat giler... sajer nak tengok how's actual life in India... rasa naik train 3rd class in India... penuh dgn orang bersesak-sesak... stay kat RM5 per night backpacker hostel...(in fact lagi sadis drp katil Syed Moto masa F1 dulu...) tengok camner life kat this place..one of the largest slum in Asia...plus..tengok wayang ala India... duk atas bangku..( previously I thought KK punyer wayang was the cheapest..RM2.50..) but in India... it cost you only for RM1 for the latest Bollywood block-buster..'Salam Nemaste'....( but don't ask me how's the projector's look's like... if not worst...just about similar like E.C Lim & co... selalu pusing dulu..) ha..ha..so the main conclusion I got....

Kauorang kena la berterima kasih kat Pak Lah kerana menjadikan Malaysia sebuah negara maju.... he..he..he.. bodek Pak Lah...!!!

PS

i) Iklan ini telah dibayar oleh Barisan Nasional. Satu lagi projek BN untuk rakyat

ii) B*b* thought that kalau tak tahu that si Wong and Gadap ni budak Melayu who once went to Malay College, sure ingat diorang bukan tourists nya in the picture. Wong dah memang ala ala hero Hindustani, Gadap ada gaya-gaya pelarian Tibet yang duduk kat Assam in North-east India.....

iii) Wong punya write up tu memang tak pakai spell checker langsung and memang langsung tak ikut grammar yang Cikgu Juriah ajar kat budak2 Science 3 dulu....

iv) Tour India memang langsung tak bawak bini.....

Reunion

Please block 3rd December 2005 and do not commit to anything (unless it's something to do with kahwin lari in Golok) because the self-appointed Grand Committee on Hal Ehwal Reunion (GROINHER)*, presided over by Badut, had BOOKED and PAID** a deposit to Kelab Golf Perkhidmatan Awam (KGPA) for a reunion function.

We will get in touch with everyone for confirmation - it's minimally priced (within the range of RM65 to RM75 pax) as a sign of protest to whoever responsible for the escalation in daily consumption goods prices all over the country.

We are trying to get Butterfingers to give a free gig though we haven't actually spoken to Kadaque or Loque (so much for "trying to get").

We shall keep everyone updated with the details - through e-mails, this blog and expect phone calls from us.

Saya yang menjalankan tugas-tugas yang tak berkaitan dengan tugas pejabat dalam waktu pejabat,

Kuli Batak Badut

PS

* GROINHER - in the spirit of Bung Karno and our Indon brethrens who like to give abbreviations to any phrase e.g. MALINDO for Malaysia Indonesia, MAPHILINDO when Philippines joined the group, KOMEKUAKANG for Kolej Melayu Kuala Kangsar etc. etc.

** When it comes to reunion or organising functions for the batch, the less consultation and the more unilateral you are, the higher the possibility for success.

Epit's Blog: A Mouthful of Air

Stumbled upon Epit's blog - SELAMBA JE tak cakap. Well if you think you can blog and remain anonymous forget it man, I do have a lot of time to scout around when I don't have anything else to do (and this happens quite regularly).

Epit was perhaps one of the longest pals and most cherished ones that I have - from sitting one row behind me in 1 PK 1 (and hence the subject of much arguments each morning when it came to voting whether or not to switch on the fan) to the time in 3 PK 1 when he decided to become a prefect (OK laa I won't call you anjing laaa... well at least not in front of you) and he did go through his application form together with me, to the last days in November 1994 when we were in the same dorm in Dorm 1, with Fadli and Ku Hazran (I could hold him responsible for screwing my SPM because we spent so much time enjoying ourselves, but then that would be too cheap an escapism).

Kudos to a friend, you are our best bet in the civil service - so be patient and hang on there.

A Mouthful of Air

Porn Site

Once in a while I checked the visitor's statistics just out of interest to find out what kind of people would want to read about one of the most under-achieving batches (we have not yet staked the claim for the no. 1 under-achiever batch, but the longer Fadhil takes to become an MP, the nearer we are to the claim) ever to have walked the ground of MCKK.

I did expect a few categories of people who may want to visit an MCKK-related website, but porn surfers were not included in any of the categories.

Brace yourself for this:

fotopages konek
We ranked 21 for searches on that particular topic, thanks to Gadap's kuliah one morning on why holding your little general tidak membatalkan wuduk.

zarina zainuddin bogel
If you are looking for the hideous pictures of naked Zarina Zainuddin (I say hideous because I have seen it - it reaffirmed my commitment to my jambu for a good part of the year back in koleq ha ha after seeing those pictures), don't waste the byte searching through the search engine. We come quite high, although no ranking was given for this one.

As if being branded under achieving, dysfunctional, kera sumbang was not enough - now we are also the immoral ones.

You Think You Love Koleq So Much...?

Food for thought. We like to beat our chest and trumpet to the whole world of our undying love of this place called MCKK - for what it has done and given to us. In fact this blog is in one way or another a shrine to MCKK (apart from its other functions to keep the writer sane).

How much would you give to MCKK? Did you ever contribute anything to MCKK? We all know the school is coming to the ground (figure of speech here, don't point out to me that the Big School's graeco roman pillars still look very strong, I will not be amused), but if MCKK sounds the horn for help today - would you give up your entire life saving?

Maybe we Malays are the ungrateful lot who like to talk a lot and do very little... what say you?

Twins donate all their savings to repay kindness

BY SYLVIA LOOI (from The Star)

IPOH: In their time of need, their school came to their aid.

So, when SJK (C) Wan Hwa sent out an appeal to raise funds for its new building, former students whom it had assisted in the past were the first to come out to help.

Among them were 21-year-old twins Lee Yueh Wan and Yueh Ngor who donated their entire RM20,000 savings yesterday.

Yueh Wan and Yueh Ngor, who suffer from thalassaemia, said they were just seven years old when the school raised funds for their medical treatment.

“We are very grateful to be alive today because of the caring efforts of our school,” said Yueh Wan, a Second Year interior design student.

DOUBLE THE GENEROSITY: Yueh Ngor (left) and Yueh Wan were given a new lease of life thanks to donations raised by SJK (C) Wan Hwa 14 years ago. Yesterday, they return the favour by giving their entire RM20,000 savings to the school’s building fund. She added that their school had 14 years ago, raised RM200,000 and the money was shared with three other pupils who also suffered from the same blood disorder.

“When we learnt that Wan Hwa needed funds for a new block, we wanted to reciprocate,” said Yueh Ngor, the younger twin.

“Money is not everything. What is the point of having money when we do not even know if we will live tomorrow.

“What is more important is to help our old school construct a new building, which can be used for generations to come,” added the accounts clerk.

The twins still require treatment and spend a total of RM1,300 monthly for their medical expenses.

Other former students who contributed generously included Ye Li Ming and her four siblings. Together, they donated RM105,124.15 to Wan Hwa.

Li Ming, 32, her sisters Li San, 30, and Li Jun, 29, and brothers Jian Hua, 34, and Jian Zing, 23, had also received aid from the school when they were students as their parents had passed away.

On Saturday evening, the school held a concert featuring singers from Taiwan and Malaysia to raise funds for a new four-storey building.

The school’s board of governors chairman Tan Mung Lee said the new building at Taman Rasi Jaya in Menglembu here would cost RM6mil and they had only raised RM3mil to date.

“We are still short of RM3mil and hope to raise the funds so that the new building can be built soon.”

Established in 1914, the school was previously known as Chin Tet School before it changed its name to Pin Min School in 1931 and Wan Hwa School in 1939.

Lembu Punya Susu Sapi Dapat Nama: Futsal-mania The Aftermath II

Fitt, 21/9/05 14:45:

sbb takde org lagi yg bagi komen, meh aku update sket pasal futsal tourney last sunday

kita bagi 2 team, 94A & 94B

94A - balat, kalai, foo, aweng, hairul, pokpek, idzam keeper + khalid
94B - aku, ayein, cibik, fadhil, belly, epit, pica + gabai keeper

ada gak supporters terdiri dari ayien family, t'kid + wife, tetamu kehormat rough + allen + sapa lagi tah yg aku pon tak kenal

94B -
1st game lawan 2000 kalau tak silap aku, menang 2-0 cibik score semua..
2nd game lawan team 98, menang 4-1...aku tak ingat team kita sapa yg score, yg aku tau, gol deorg sebijik tu dijaringkan dgn bantuan ref
3rd game lawan team napster (batch mana tah), menang 2-0...pica sebijik, aku sebijik...
so kitorang top group, masuk quater

94A -
aku tak ingat lah deorg ni punya game...yg aku tau deorg top group gak

quater
94B kalah 2-1 walaupon leading sebijik dengan jaringan cantik dari aku, hasil dari sweeping move dari pica + ayein, dan kalah dlm suasana penuh kontroversi...antaranya ialah opponent tak amik freekick at the correct spot which lead to their winning goal..dan ref missed out clear handball dalam D..

94A kalah 3-2 dgn team napster yg 94B dah sayurkan masa group stage...so malaslah aku nak story lebih lanjut...

overall, it was fun, enjoyable dan maybe its good to point out yg team kita lah team yg paling senior yg masuk quater....lain suma budak2 belaka..the crowd was good, and its great oso to see support esp. dari rough + allen yg mengotakan kata2 utk dtg bagi support dan bukan sekadar hot-hot chicken poop je..siap bawak sponsor air + grub lagi tuh....heheheheh..

so marilah lepas ni kita sama2 meramaikan majlis friday night every fortnightly kat seksyen 14 so that tahun depan hopefully kita bole hantar 4 team pulak....hehehe

Idzam Noor, 21/09/2005 03:19 PM:

Congrats to both teams.

So, next year, kita letak 4 team, (boleh ni)

Kalau ade lagi, aku akan cuba cilok jersi Selangor lagi...

94A
1st game - menang 4-0 (lawan '95)
2nd game - bye (team 04 cuak ni)
3rd game - menang 3-0 (lwn 02 kot)
4th game - menang 3-0 (lwn 2000)

Ha ha ni lah orang Melayu cakap lembu punya susu sapi dapat nama.

The drink and grub (tid bits, ice cream etc) was a result of our unending scams to extort money from Fadhil. Epit and I were chatting with Fadhil and we were in the shouting mode because it was so noisy, that after a while we were complaining of sore throat.

The rest is history - I took RM 50 from Fadhil, got Allen to drive us to the nearest 7-Eleven, borong whatever I could find to maximise the RM 50, came back eating ice cream and drinking Coca Cola - then non-chalantly went to greet the teams with drinks and grub, as if it was our treats ha ha ha...

I think I am quite good at extortion, need to do this more often ha ha ha.

Post-script:

1) Class of 98 emerged as the champion for the second year. The team name was DC98 - I was thinking all along that it was Detention Class 98, ghupe-ghupenya Defending Champion.

2) Fadhil only got a few cents as change rasanya.

3) Four teams next year? Hmmmm better get fit now ha ha ha (then next year go through the same ritual of tai chi-ing to each other to form a team, last2 the usual suspects jugak)